OH GOD!!!!!
I have a lot of respect for sylvester stallone... the guy is 60 years old and has a body better than 99.9% of the people that are less than half his age... but in this interview... god... so much f***ing bullshit...

Q: So did you ever use steroids to build yourself up?

A: In 1987, when I was making Rambo III, I used to take an amino acid that's nearly as strong as steroids. It's about 15 times more powerful than the typical amino acid, but give none of the raw rage - the anger - that comes with steroids. All steroids do is make you a cumbersome, apelike goon.

an amino acid 15 times more powerful than the typical amino acid? wow, supplements were more advanced in 1987 than they are now!!! i really don't care if he used steroids or not... the guy was super ripped in rambo 3 and he worked hard for it... but don't go insulting everyones intelligence with that crap!!

When Stallone first came to Franco to begin training, he was 170 pounds and very well defined. But he didn't feel he was big enough and wanted to put on 10 pounds of muscle in six weeks.

10 lbs in 6 weeks? sounds like a muscle-tech add...

Franco knew how hard Stallone was capable of training, so he decided that was a feasible goal."Sylvester gained just about 10 pounds in six and a half weeks," Franco says. "He has great structure, with a waist only about 29 inches. When we started, he had a 44-inch chest. At the end, his chest was almost 50 inches. And his arms went from 16 ½ inches to 18 inches. He was bigger, harder and much more muscular. Wait until you see him in the movie. He's going to shock a lot of people by how good he looks.

yes, the guy looked great... but come on... 18 inch arms? 50 inch chest? 29 inch waist? i can believe the waist... but the arms and chest? weighing 180 lbs? is stallone 5'2?

"Franco worked out a program for Stallone based on a two day double split:
MONDAY/WEDNESDAY/FRIDAY
Morning:Chest, back, abs
Afternoon: Shoulders, arms, abs
TUESDAY/THURSDAY/SATURDAY
Morning: Calves, thighs
Afternoon: Rear delts, traps, abs

ooooooooooooooooooooooookay

Franco had Stallone training abs three times every two days, doing 500 reps every ab workout. "We trained four different ab and torso exercises: sit-ups, leg raises, side leg raises, and side bends. We did 50 reps of each, one exercise right after another, and five sets of this cycle. And wait until you see the results. Sly has great abs, intercostals, serratus, everything.

"Stallone's measurements when he was filming Rambo II were: chest around 50", 29 ½ " waist, and 17 inch biceps. His body fat runs 4 ½ %, although when he's not filming it's 6 %. Loud bursts of energy can be heard as the star does push-ups to get pumped up for some photos.

Why did i post this? it's just to show you that most of what celebrities tell you is bullcrap... the only celebrity who had the guts to say anything about his steroid use was de muscle man himself... AAAAANNNOOOLLLLDDD!!!! anyway... no celebrity, or pro bodybuilder, or fitness whatever will tell you exactly what they do... hell, most celebrities don't even know what they take or eat... it's just "the trainer gave me this and told me to eat this and swallow this and do that..."
but hey... who wouldn't want to look like this when they're 60?

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder


Health has nothing to do with it!

Since I’ve started all this crap (diet and training and whatever), I’ve been criticized for “going against doctors, and nutritionists information” to achieve my goals. You know the drill, right? “too much protein isn’t good for the bones and kidneys”, “supplements will give you cancer”, “creatine will give you kidney failure”, “heavy weight training causes injuries”… blah blah blah. And recently I have been criticized for “implying” that if you don’t do it my way, you’re not doing it right. Let’s get one thing straight, WHAT I DO AND WHAT I PREACH IS NOT F***ING HEALTHY!!! Yes, it is way healthier than most people’s lifestyles… but this is in no way going to make you live longer or healthier or whatever. If eating junk, smoking, drinking alcohol, not exercising, whatever, decreases your life span by 20%... what I do might decrease it by 5%... this is just an example, as always I have to explain to idiots that these aren’t exact numbers and they’ve just been pulled out of my ass.
Now, what I want you to do is think about this for a second… what is health? Is it living longer? Is it maintaining bodily functions for the longest time possible? Is it trying to stay happy and depression free for the longest time you can? Is it trying to enjoy life? WHAT THE F*** IS HEALTH? You cannot control health, unless you are IN A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT!!! If you’re locked up in a room, with no outside interference, then you can judge what’s “healthy” for you or not (if you think healthy means living longer). Because as Red Foxx said: “a friend of mine quit smoking… said he didn’t want to waste his life… 2 days later he got hit by a tobacco truck and died.” Personally, I think health is overrated. Way way way way way overrated. Because you never know what’s going to happen. BUT!!!!! This doesn’t mean you should throw your life away. You want to smoke cigarettes? Fine… smoke… just don’t smoke 2 packs a day and expect to live past 50. You want to eat junk? Fine… eat junk… just don’t make it your primary source of nutrition. Because stressing yourself over something that’s supposed to help you live longer (like not eating junk, or quitting whatever) will only cause your body to release catabolic hormones that’ll mess it up even more. People are going f***ing crazy over health issues. “this increases the risk of cancer” “this fights cancer, buy it!” “this’ll make you live longer… research says so… now go buy it” “soy is healthy (WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE THE BIGGEST SCAM EVER!!!!)... buy it and quit drinking milk”… it’s all “this is good for your health… buy it”… and… SUB7AN ALLAH!!! The healthiest thing you can ever do… the only thing proven to lower bad cholesterol and raise good cholesterol (naturally… not a medication), regulate blood pressure, stimulate the heart, stimulate your whole body… endless health benefits… THAT’S ABSOLUTELY FREE…. AND NO ONE FREAKING DOES IT!!! IT’S CALLED SLEEP EARLY, WAKE UP EARLY, AND GO FOR A F***ING WALK!!! I’m not talking morning cardio or whatever… I’m talking walking… just walk… 4, 5, hell, 10 miles a day… who cares… just f***ing walk. DO YOU DO THAT???? DO DOCTORS DO THAT??? DO NUTRITIONIST DO THAT??? If so… I don’t see them when I get up in the morning… I only see 4 people from 4-6 am when I do morning cardio. And I will make this a habit for life… 5 times a week… why? Cuz it actually makes me feel good.
Really, health has become a business. And really, from now on, I will take a shit on any piece of medical research I find. Because the “latest” research shows that.. and I quote: “overweight people live longer than slightly overweight people”… what the f*** is that? They gave up on fat people. They’re like “f*** it!! Let’s tell’em it’s ok to be fat… we can sell them more food… they get sick… they buy medicine… and when they get old and they can’t have sex anymore… we’ll sell them steroids for 100 times the street price and we’ll call it hormonal replacement therapy… we’ll say that it’s different than steroid use so we won’t lose business… but the stupid f***ers won’t know it…oh yeah… and let’s bring the punishment for steroid distribution to 25 years in prison… so no one can f*** with our business” seriously… what the hell happened? Rape… you get 4 years in prison… you have steroids that’ll last you more than a week, and that classifies you as a dealer and you go to prison for 25 years. HRT (hormonal replacement therapy) goes for about $2000 for 150-250 mg of testosterone per week (a beginner steroid cycle dose)… on the street, it goes for $16. who should go to jail? Oh, and you can get a prescription for HRT when you’re over 40 and you have declining test levels… you don’t get rejected. (and just for your info, 150-250 mg/wk IS A LOT OF F***ING TEST!!... good testosterone levels in young men are around 70 mg/wk, that’s when they peak…)

You want health? Listen to the words of our prophet (peace be upon him)

The prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) has encouraged us to use everything moderately. Yes, that includes food, exercise… etc. If you overdo, or under do anything, it will negatively affect your health.

I do not preach health

What do I preach? BODY F***ING BUILDING!!! No one ever came to me and said “I want to be healthier, what should I do?”… people always ask “I wanna lose the belly”, “I want to build muscle”, “what are the best protein sources”, “can I eat this and that if I want to lose body fat?”… hey… that rhymed :) … anyway, that’s what they ask me and that’s what I preach. The problem I have with most people is that when I tell them what they should do to achieve their goals, they say “no, that’s not how it should be done”… well f*** you! Why did you come to me in the first place? I’ll tell you why, because you tried every stupid fad diet out there and you never exercised and you thought it was gonna be easy and it won’t take time to burn off all that fat you’ve accumulated over 15 years. I will tell you everything except what you want to hear. You have to eat tasteless food (if you don’t know how to cook) and you have to f***ing move your ass and workout. And the best part is that you don’t lose shit… yeah that’s right. I won’t give you that “you’ll lose 30 lbs in 30 days” shit. I’ll tell you “listen, if you’re losing more than 2 lbs per week MAXIMUM!!! You aren’t doing it right. You have to go slower”. Ofcourse, that’s why I’ll fail miserably if I open up a gym. No one wants to hear that. I have a friend of mine that came to me last week and said “I want you to give me another program… I stopped the program you gave me about 6 months ago… I want a new one”… I asked him “you haven’t worked out in 6 months, or dieted, and you want another program? Didn’t that program work for you?” … just to let you know, when he was on it, he was losing 2 lbs per week, and lost about 20 lbs, total. So he says “yes, it worked fine… but I want something faster”. I told him that he knew he shouldn’t lose more than 2 lbs per week, and if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. Yet, he still wanted to “lose fat faster”… I just told him he can’t lose FAT faster… he’ll only get smaller and flabbier. Then he told me that he works extended hours at work and it was hard to plan meals… so I told him to keep a couple of cans of tuna in the office, and whenever it’s meal time, he just pops one real quick (he wants to be an ass about meals, I’ll be a bigger ass). He just smiled and said “come on man… gimme a break”… I said “ok. Let me get my magic wand, tap it twice on my testicles, then once on your head… and bam!! You’ll have a six pack.”
Izzibda, fad diets are just that… FAD DIETS!!! If you work hard, it’ll show on your body… if you don’t, it will also show. If you want to talk about how to get fit and burn all that fat and get defined, I’ll be more than glad to help. If you want to talk about being “healthy”, I won’t talk about that cuz that ceiling fan is gonna fall on your head and your health will go “bye-bye”

Note: if you’re wondering about the soy scam.. please visit www.thewholesoystory.com

Two Announcements!!!

- Congratulations to Abdulaziz Al Naim for passing his level 3 CFA exam. we all knew you could do it buddy ;)
you can visit his blog at www.wts-online.com/blogs/aziz/aziz.html

- Also, congratulations to my big brother, Abdullah, for getting his advanced MBA degree from the University of Adelaide. See ya in 12 days...

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Lucky f***er!!!

i was chatting with faisal (trainer) a couple of days ago and i asked him about his maintenance caloric intake... i just wanted a rough idea on how much food he needed to stay the way he is... after he told me... i was about to kick him in the nuts!!! WHY!!?? HOW?!?! this is what he said: "well, it depends. if i'm under 220 lbs, usually 2000 to 2400 calories is enough... if i'm over 220, i'll eat around 2600 to 2800 calories." ... F***ING BASTARD!!! right now, i'm about 195 lbs... if i eat less than 2900 calories, i start losing lean mass (without cardio and shit). If i want to gain, i'll eat anywhere from 3500 to 4500 calories (depending on how fat i'm willing to get). and this guy is much heavier and bigger than i am and eats less!!! :( it's not fair!!!!

Fascinating how people don't know shit!

at work, i'm the diet and training guy. i actually spend more time explaining nutrition and training concepts than i do working. Anyway, i have discovered (well, i knew this a long time ago... but it never ceases to amaze me) how uneducated people are when it comes to this shit. no one, and i mean no one here at work takes a multivitamin pill. when you ask them why they don't take one, they say they don't need it. when you ask them why they don't need it, they say because they get it from fruits and vegetables. so, i ask them "what's your daily fruit and vegetable intake?"... most of them say apples, oranges, bananas...etc ... vegetables are the usual "carrots, zuchini, cucumbers (or as my sister says "cumber q")... etc" ... ok... let's get one thing straight... those foods don't supply enough vitamins for a cockroach, let alone a full grown, active human being. most people i know say they eat a lot of fruit. of course, they think it's alot, but it's usually one serving every other day or so. ok, we'll let the vitamin thing go because you read a colorful email with pretty pictures that says "did you know that one lemon supplies vitamins, minerals, and anti-oxidants enough to last a year? it'll also make you feel better, you won't ever get sick, your shit will start smelling like cool aid, and you'll piss gold... it's true" and people believe that... anyway, let's talk about water... really, count how many liters of pure water you drink. i can tell you that it's less than 1 liter... count it. i'll bet my left testicle on it. all the nutritionists (not sports nutritionists... but lazy people nutritionists) recommend that lazy ass people who don't move a finger should drink atleast 8 glasses of water per day (that's around 2 liters) OF WATER!! NOT FLUID!! i make it a habbit to drink atleast a gallon at work... and about 2-3 liters during and after my work out. my total fluid intake is about 2.5 gallons (10 liters) and guess what? people at work make fun of me. ofcourse, the same people who never drink water and never take a multi vitamin pill and thing "mfa66a7" is a healthy meal and are grossly overweight are the same people who tell you that weight training will make you impotent and sterile, protein will ruin your kidneys, and too much training is dangerous.

really... keep track of your water intake... you'll be very surprised

Weight lifting and women

Why female bodybuilders look the way they do

Last week, a friend of mine sent me a small clip of two naked female bodybuilders posing in a gym (that’s if you can call them females). Let’s get one thing straight, I’m not into that kind of disgusting shit. That’s plain f***ing blasphemy right there. I know my friend meant it as a joke, but it really got me thinking into the public’s perception of females who lift weights. Let me explain something first, no woman on earth could naturally look like those female bodybuilders even if she tried (naturally, that is. And why the hell would a woman try to do that?). You usually see women with 15, 16 or 17 inch biceps, shredded to the bone (under 6% fat) and their faces look worse than men’s faces. Those so called “female bodybuilders” are on a shitload of androgenic steroids (steroids that bring out male characteristics). Side effects of using androgens if you are a female are basically deepening of the voice, facial hair growth, clitoral enlargement, change of facial features (that’s why they look like men). All of those side effects are irreversible. Do a search on Ms. Olympia and you’ll see what I mean. Now, I’d like to talk about another issue. Bodybuilding f***ing drag queens. Yes, you’ve probably seen the pictures. There are men who actually had the “snip snip” surgery and became huge “female” bodybuilders. Why? I truly don’t know. But even with a shitload of steroids, food, and good (I wouldn’t call them good in this case… more like f***ed up) genetics, a woman cannot get that big at that low a bodyfat %. And for all the idiots who’ve seen the pictures of women that look bigger than Ronnie coleman… THEY’RE PHOTOSHOPPED YOU DUMBASSES!!! Anyway, as far as “female bodybuilding” goes, it’s just ruining every and any chance an out of shape girl has to try to fix her body. Because when you tell her to lift weights, she’ll immediately think of those abominations and say “NO WAY!!!”

What would happen if a woman started weight training?

Let’s think about this for a second. Let’s say you’re a woman who’s currently at 35% fat (fat ass)… you want to lose weight and “shape up” or “tone up”. What do you do? Usually, women will first starve themselves, badly. Eating a salad and drinking a 200 ml bottle of water a day. Exercise is, ofcourse, out of the question. First week, you drop 10 lbs… and body fat goes down to 33%... then you start dropping about 5-8 lbs for the next 2-3 weeks. Bodyfat goes down to around 30%. You’re still fat. And now, you’re even worse. You have all this “loose skin” hanging (amazing how someone drops 25-34 lbs and only 5% fat and still calls that dangling thingy “loose skin”). Anyway, you get your period, you start crying, and you make ben, jerry, and Mr. Mcdonald’s richer than they already are. You gain those 25-34 lbs back in 2 weeks… AND SOME! This is the typical female regime… as far as I know in Saudi. If you don’t know what went wrong, read my stupid book.
Let’s say, you decided to do the atkins diet or some stupid shit like the chemical diet or whatever and your genetics turned out to respond very well to that kind of diet (this is hypothetical… if your genes responded well to this diet, they’d also respond well to my baskin robbins diet I posted last year… so, don’t kid yourself). Anyway, you lost 50 lbs and you went down to 17% fat (which is at around the normal range for females). How do you think you’ll look like? Most likely, you’ll look like this:
Chicken legs and arms, hip bones sticking out, belly and boobs are sagging while your collar bone sticks out, and you have a pancake ass with love handles that stick out of your jeans
How are you gonna fix this? according to your “girlfriends” who have a combined IQ of… 1… they’ll say “I heard potatoes go straight to your ass”, “you wanna make your thighs grow? Chocolates… they make them bigger”, “I heard that green tea will tighten your skin and make your boobs firm” , or… my personal favorite “boobs can’t be firm… they just look like that because of push up bras they wear”… I swear, I once saw a product that’s made with “honey and natural herbs” and it said that it “focuses weight gain in the thighs and buttock region and makes you lose fat from the waist”. if you’re laughing your ass off, you’re a man and you know what I’m talking about… if you’re a woman, you’d be going “yeah… so?”
Muscles are what give you shape. If you think bubble butts and firm boobs (excuse my French here… just bare with me) are because people are storing fat there, you’re way f***ing wrong. If it were fat, it would be sagging and it would have disgusting cellulites (which look f***ing disgusting btw). If you don’t know what cellulites are, check out someone fat… I mean really fat… look at the skin on the fat area… it looks like bread dough… anyway, people who look good without training are usually genetically blessed. If you’re saying “what if I’m genetically blessed but I don’t know it yet?” well, you’ll never know it… I promise… izzibda… if you want to know how a woman would look if she trained like a bodybuilder, dieted right, and took this shit seriously and became an extremist, look at the fitness figures that appear on the fat burner commercials in bodybuilding magazines. Now remember, these women are at around 7% body fat… that’s contest shape… cuz some of the guys said that they hate the look because you can see the muscles and shit… at 10% bodyfat… it will be as smooth as hell. So, don’t worry, you won’t have a manly look to you. I know my wife will kill me for posting a picture like this… but it’s the only decent one I can find, the rest are in thongs and sticking their asses out. Anyway, this is what a very very… extremely hard working REAL female bodybuilder would look like:



Now, will that change your mind? Or do you still want to go with the atkins “eat and die in two years” diet?

Why am I writing this? because, I went to Bahrain yesterday and it really made me feel bad to see that more than 80% of the people (and about 90% of the women… no kidding) in the malls were a step away from being obese. And an extremely obese kid, I’m talking Sherman Klump obese, was ordering nachos, popcorn, chocolates, and a soda at the movies. When my wife saw him, she said “aaaaa… miskeen. Poor kid.” And I told her “if he wasn’t fat… but he was smoking a cigarette, would you say the same thing?” she knew what I meant and said “no… but he’s… you know…” he was about 10 or 12 years old… let’s face it… being fat, overweight, obese… WHATEVER… and putting yourself at risk and f***ing your health over IS A CHOICE! It’s not something that’s forced upon you.

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Update

Well, after my post diet binge I’ve turned into the human balloon. At least I look healthy. In the past six days I’ve gained 14 lbs. my weight is starting to stabilize (thank god! F***ing blood pressure was killing me), and I’m losing water while I’m at it. Strength is through the freakin’ roof, and my arms went from 16.25 inches when I was extremely depleted on Thursday morning to a full 17.2 inches this morning. Of course, my waist went from 31.8 up to 33.3… mostly it’s the food packed in my gut, cuz I can still see all my abs. Thursday night will mark the end of my binge, and I will return to a 3200 calorie diet with 380 grams of protein, 300 grams of carbs and the fat that comes with it. I’ll be doing cardio 3 times a week, first thing in the morning too. Right now, I’m standing at 194 lbs at around 7%.


Finally met Faisal

The guy’s a f***ing wall… as my friend Tariq said “the guy has so many rounded objects on his body, you can’t even tell where his head is!”. Right now, Faisal is around 235 lbs at 12-14% fat… oh, and he’s around 5’5-5’6… that’s f***ing huge…

I TOLD YOU BITCHES!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!

As I said before, I don’t believe in stupid research like this, but I’ve always had a problem with swimming as a form of cardio for fat loss. Half of the people I advise to do cardio come up to me and say “how about swimming? Oh I love swimming!! I can do laps for hours!!” I usually try to steer them away from that, but it used to be a personal preference. Then, when they can swim “laps for hours” AND THEY CAN’T EVEN WALK FAST ON THE TREADMILL WITHOUT PASSING OUT you know something’s wrong. Besides, there’s something weird about swimming. Whenever I swim (I haven’t swam in a long ass time), I feel so f***ing hungry afterwards. But after the treadmill or stairmaster or bike or whatever… I can’t stand to put food in my mouth… weird… but here’s some shit that says the same thing I’ve been saying for years. People will probably believe this because it’s “research”… but when I say it, somehow it doesn’t make sense.


Gwinup, G. Weight loss without dietary restriction: efficacy of different forms of aerobic exercise. Am J Sports Med. 15:275-279, 1987.Since obese patients with orthopaedic disabilities are often advised to undertake swimming as a part of a weight loss program, the effect of swimming on body weight was systematically studied. Minimally to moderately obese, otherwise healthy young women seeking to lose weight through a program of exercise without dietary restrictions were randomly assigned to one of three groups in which only the type of daily exercise was different. The three types of exercise were brisk walking, riding a stationary cycle, and swimming laps in a pool. All women slowly but progressively increased the time spent in daily exercise to 60 minutes. After 6 months or slightly longer, the women assigned to walking lost 10% of initial weight, the women who cycled lost 12%, but the women who swam lost no weight. The thickness of the subcutaneous panniculus over the middle of the extensor surface of the upper arm was measured using a Lang skin-fold caliper (Graham Field Co, New York, NY) and showed equivalent substantial reductions in the walkers and cyclists, but no change in the swimmers. The results of this study show that both walking and cycling are effective methods of reducing body fat, but that swimming is not.


Toilet hygiene and the dirty Saudi

I know this is not the most appealing issue I could talk about, but I’m really facing a f***ed up problem here. All my life, I’ve been hearing Saudis saying things like “Americans and Europeans are so dirty… they don’t even use water to clean their asses”, or “Don’t they know it’s disgusting to urinate while standing and it’s unsanitary?”, and “they don’t have any decency. Hell, they have those standing toilet thingys where everyone could see your business.” First off, I don’t like the idea of those standing urination thingys, but only a malgoof Saudi would go peeking at everyone else’s business. Anyway, Saudis are f***ing dirty when they go to the bathroom. They always… AND I MEAN ALWAYS leave the hose running when they’re done, and the place turns into a f***ing sewage swimming pool. They jet that hose on their shitty asses and water that rebounds off their ass goes all over the floor. All of them have the worst aim I’ve ever seen, cuz taking a shit is a f***ing game. Squat down and try to shoot the shit in the hole!! And most of them can’t do that. You find this big terd sliding around. Let me tell you something, when you run water down the crack of your smelly ass, it’s not clean yet. It’s just wet. You have to wipe it. Because the worst thing you can ever see is a grown man walking out of a toilet with water running down the back of his pants.
Why am I writing this? because I just got out of the toilet, and I can say that an elephant’s colon is much cleaner. Plus, one of my “colleagues” was bitching about how dirty foreigners are because some of them don’t wash their hands after they use the toilet. I have never seen a clean public bathroom in Saudi Arabia… never. The worst part is the f***ing water… WHY? DIDN’T YOUR MAMA TEACH YOU TO CLOSE A WATER VALVE YOU DUMB F***!

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Guess what? i quit the f***ing competition! horray!!! mother f***ers... i called the ittifaq bodybuilding team coach yesterday and asked him if he heard any news about the official date of the contest (every year, they hold it at the end of the 8th hijri month... so i had either 4 or 5 weeks left)... he said that he has some good news. the organizers called him a couple of days ago and told him that they delayed it til after eid. big f***ing whoop. that left me with 11 to 12 more weeks of contest prep... and 4 and 1/2 of those weeks were during ramadhan... a very good time to be preparing for a contest. i had a reality check and realized that i actually work a 7 am to 4 pm job for a living and i can't possibly be ready in 11-12 weeks. i can be ready in 3 weeks if i wanted... but ramadhan... no f***ing way... and to put my wife through 11-12 more weeks of "i'm sorry honey, i can't go out for more than an hour cuz i have to piss" or "no.. we can't go there... my food is at home...i can't eat out"" is just f***ing stupid and it's not fair for my wife. So, i just decided that it isn't worth it. i took some pictures yesterday to show you what i look like at 5 weeks out (supposidly). yesterday was a carb loading day, so i filled out a bit but lost a little definition from the water retention. i did cardio at 7:30 am, came back home, weighed in at 180 lbs, too my protein shake with 45 grams of glucose and 500 ml of water, then an hour later i ate 3 pancakes with syrup, 8 egg whites, 2 whole eggs, and about 500 ml of skimmed milk. then i drank about 1.5 liters of water. a couple of hours later i ate a cup of oats with honey and whey protein and about a liter of water... kept drinking water til i went out with my friends... drank some coffee, diet coke, and more water... then i called the coach, and just felt like a fat chick that just got dumped. went to the store and got me some snickers and caramel galaxy bars and went through them in less than a second. i picked up my wife and told her what happened. she seemed more pissed off than i was. so we went to Mcdonalds... i got me a big mac, double quarter pounder with cheese, super sized diet coke and fries... after that i kept drinking water and took some pictures. then we went to chili's. i pigged out on some fajita qouesadillias or however the f*** you spell them... went to baskin robbins.. got me some giant scoops of peanut butter and chocolate, and gold medal ribbon ice cream... drank water... watched a movie...
i weighed around 183 lbs when i took the pictures... and around 187 lbs when i went to bed... i won't be competing next year... i'll gain as much f***ing weight as possible in the next year and a half... then i'll try to lose the fat as slow as possible so i won't lose any muscle with it... then in 2009... i'll quit taking this shit seriously and get a f***ing life... enjoy
Please pay no attention to my face... i was sleepy, and felt like i was gonna puke... and i looked sick from all the damn dieting and cardio and crap... time to fucking pig out...

Faisal Al-Olaiw

About two weeks ago, the gym i go to hired a new trainer named faisal. And ever since then all the trainers have been bugging the shit outta and saying "have you seen faisal?" "man, you have to meet him"... "he's doing morning shifts... if i were you i'd just skip work and come meet him"... at first, i was like "yeah.. whatever"... Then fadhil (a trainer there and a good friend of mine) told me that this guy won the arabian championship a while back... Actually, that's something to brag about. Seriously, Arabs have some amazing bodybuilders that show up in this competition and for a saudi to win... wow.... anyway, they kept telling me about how the company couldn't supply him with any training pants cuz when he wore them and sat down, they almost ripped. and the XXL polo shirts they give the trainers looked like spandex on him. The only thought in my head was "what the f*** is this guy? a cow?"... last night, before i did cardio, i saw fadhil and he said that he showed faisal my pictures from 2 weeks back and he said that he wanted to talk to me to give me tips about drying out. i said "sure... whatever"... because every idiot i meet somehow has advice on how to get ready for a contest. some advice was as stupid as "to get your legs ripped, sit on a chair and start kicking your legs up really fast and do it for about 500 times"... this advice was given to me by the head coach of the al ittifaq bodybuilding team. To the point, fadhil said that he wanted to show me a video in his cell phone of faisal around 4 weeks out of the arab championship. After i saw that video, my jaw was stuck to the floor!!!! at 4 weeks out, the guy had no skin! it was as freaky as f***!! I have never seen definition like that in my life!! let alone his size!! two people were standing behind him in that video and he was wider than both of them together!! I SWEAR!! and when you see huge veins busting out of a quad tear drop without flexing it ON A CELL PHONE LOW QUALITY VIDEO, it just scares you. His abs? you can crack a quarter between his abs without him flexing. when he flexed them.... It was just freaky. I've a lot of pro videos, olympias, the iron man... but i've never seen anyone like that in my life... what really made me wanna shoot myself was... HE COMPETED AT 85 KGs!!!! AT THE AGE OF 27!!!!! F***!!!!
ofcourse, the easter province contest is nothing compared to the arabs... it's like comparing bumper cars to F1 racing. but after seeing his video... i'd be f***ing honored to take his advice... hell, i'd even pay for it!! Anyway, i'll try to get a picture from fadhil of this guy to post it up here so you can see what i'm talking about.

it's funny and ironic how... well let me tell you a little story that happened a couple of weeks ago at the gym:
I hate training abs... more than anything... i usually do 4-6 sets of heavy rope crunches once a week... sometimes i skip the whole thing... i sometimes get bored of rope crunches and head to the crunch machine (the huge chair that looks like a torture device) and do a couple of heavy sets... anyway, i saw this guy on the machine... fat as f***... and he was on that machine for a good 20 minutes before i decided that i wanted to change up and do machine crunches. Usually, if i want to use a machine or a bench and someone's using it, i just go sit next to them and stare. if they have a bit of intelligence, they'd ask "you wanna use this?" after finishing a set. some people are just so f***ing stupid and think that i look at them to admire their fat ass. anyway, i sat straight infront of this guy on the crunch machine and stared. the guy finished a set... looked at me... looked down... went on another set... finished... looked at me... looked down... went on another set... finished... looked at me.... i got pissed off... so i just asked "can I do a set while you rest?"... the guy said "just gimme a couple of minutes... i'm almost done... just a couple more"... whenever i hear something that surprises me (like what this fat ass said) i raise an eyebrow real high, and the other one real low (unintentionally... i never noticed till one of my friends laughed at me for doing it)... i just said "no no.. take your time... obviousely you need it a lot more than i do"... the guy was so stupid he didn't notice that i was being sarcastic, smiled, and said "thanks"...
my point? go to any f***ing gym in the world and you always find obese people that never lose a f***ing pound spending hours hogging the ab benches and machines. come back a year later, and you find the same people, doing the same exercises, and the f***ers get fatter.
what does that tell you?
if you can't figure it out, you're as stupid as the guy that's probably still repping out crunches on that machine.

btw, the only reason i do ab exercises is to get them bigger and make them pop out more... not to burn fat. if trainning abs burned abdominal fat, then i'd be weighing 80 lbs right now shredded because i train the rest of my body too.

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

The flies are coming!
Ok, so I got fed up of my old program and decided to switch up a bit (yeah, this is the millionth time I’ve switched my plan but you go f***ing crazy when you diet like this). Before that, I was getting too f***ed in the head. You really won’t know what I’m talking about until you diet for a contest. I couldn’t think straight… I didn’t know what to do. So, I decided to get help from a professional. This guy prepares bodybuilders for national contest… have you ever seen nationals? These guys usually go on to get their IFBB pro cards. Anyway, I only had 6.5 weeks left, and after he saw my condition, he agreed to work with me. Ofcourse, things never come easy for me. The site didn’t accept my credit card… and I couldn’t fund a paypal account (so if anyone knows how to fund one from Saudi, please tell me). The only option left was money order, and that would take too much time, so I just cancelled that idea. I can’t count on trainers here, cuz let’s face it, the only criteria we have for trainers is that they won a couple of contests… and that’s it. Anyway, I’m almost ready for the stage and I’m a little less than 6 weeks out. I only have about 3-5 lbs of fat to lose… so, I decided to up the cardio from 6 to 12 times a week and have 2 separate carb loading days only. This means I’d have to wake up everyday at 4 am to do cardio. Which brings me to the flies. MOTHER F***ERS!!!! The moment the sun starts coming up… those bitches gang up on you. Nothing worse than the feeling of seven flies landing on your sweaty skin and moving around. Nothing like starting your day as pissed of as hell at 5 am. Seriously, they piss me off in a way you can’t believe. I’ve been contemplating carrying a can of RAID around with me while doing cardio. I first thought of bringing a shot gun with me, but then I remember how small flies are and how bad a shooter I am (once, in a shooting range, out of 100 clay Frisbee thingys… I got one… true story).

CAN’T YOU WALK FASTER YOU FAT F***!!!!
Just to be clear, I’m a fast walker… and thank god my wife is, too. Cuz you have fast walkers that go around 3.0-3.5 mph… and you have average walkers that go around 2.8 mph… then you have the slow ass f*** faces that go 1 foot per day. If you’re handicapped or something, god help you… if you’re not… f*** you! I doesn’t take much to piss me off these days… really… I have a bitch of a time controlling myself infront of my wife. We were in Bahrain the other day at the mall. We were headed to the movies and I wanted something to drink real bad. Also, I wanted to piss real bad (but we’ll talk more about that later). And you know how on the second floor of malls they have like two 3-4 ft wide walkways with a huge gap that looks down on the first floor? Yeah, Maryam and I were walking quick and zigzagging around people until 4 women were blocking the whole walkway with their fat asses walking at 1 inch per week. Obnoxious, fat, loud, skanky women, I’d say around 18-22 years old… wearing abayas that were too tight for a 3 year old… let’s get one thing straight before I go on… ladies, if you have a f***ed up body… try to cover it up… a curved up tight abaya would only make you look like an oversized hour glass with love handles. Let’s see… if a woman saw an obese man walking around in the mall wearing a tight shirt, with his boobs hanging down, and his belly dipping to the depths of hell, also wearing tight shorts where you can see his ass crack from the top of them, would she say “wow! Look at how sexy he looks!”… no… she’d probably vomit. And unless a man is into BBW fetish and sick shit, he’d also vomit if he saw a fat assed woman wearing that shit…. Back to the issue… these skanks were blocking the whole way… we were walking behind them and I was saying “excuse me… excuse me… hey… excuse me”… bitches didn’t give a shit and they were talking and laughing and shit… so I started boiling inside… then I remembered that my wife was with me… I was like “hey!!! I’m married!!!”… according to the laws of physics and arabs, nothing will happen to me if I offend a woman while I’m with my wife. so I charged fast and nudged the fat one on the edge a bit hard and she said “weeeh?” … I was like “WEEEEHAIN!!! SALA7IF INTO??? IMSHOO ZAY INNAS!!!” … Maryam just started laughing … surprisingly, those women shut the hell up after I said that... this was on my first low carb day… if it had been my 3rd low carb day… I would’ve kicked her in the back of the head instead of nudging her.

Pirates of the Caribbean
COULD THEY MAKE THAT MOVIE ANY F***ING LONGER!!!???

Low body fat sucks
Right now I’m around 7% or lower. I don’t care to measure my body fat (since the fat caliper isn’t accurate at all… plus I ran out of batteries and I’m too lazy to buy more). Anyway, it sucks major ass to be at a low body fat %. You start smelling funny, you fart like crazy (huge issue when you’re married… especially at night… you can’t let one out and hope it doesn’t seep out of the sheets), you get bloated at the drop of a dime (one day waist is 32, the other it’s 33.5… crazy shit). Well, there’s no more cheating right now, cuz I’m playing catch up… I need to be ready in 2 weeks to start f***ing around with water. Hopefully I’ll be competing at the 85 kg class this year… this morning I weighed 84.7 kg… I’m shooting for a 82 kg on stage…