Excerpts from the diary of a pissed off bodybuilder

Consistency… you’re doing it wrong!

This is why most of you fail… really. I don’t care what kind of retarded diet you are on, what kind of stupid training program you follow… whatever… you fail to produce results cuz your ass aint consistent, bitches!
Look at all the retarded fat people who lost a shit ton of weight and still look like shit-in-a-bag… I don’t care if they look good or not… that’s your goal, isn’t it? To lose as much weight as you can in record time, right? You really don’t care about the way you look, cuz as far as you’re concerned, being muscular at 7% fat for a guy or having a 24 inch waist, big tight thighs and firm tits if you’re a woman is ugly and grotesque…. Right? The epitome of being “sexy” is being able to wear those “skinnies” where your thighs shouldn’t be bigger than your forearms… right? Anyway… regardless of stupid excuses for not working hard… those fat people who lost the weight have one thing in common… THEY ARE ALL CONSISTENT!!! Yes… 3 days where they only drink 2 glasses of orange juice, and nothing else, 2 days where they only drink water, 1 day where they can eat half a slice of toast and an olive… then repeat… do this for 4 months… you’d lose 100 lbs… I assure you… but you have to be consistent.
I always wonder why people do this… you know… complain about being fat and shit and say they are willing to do anything to fix it, except if it involves lifting a finger and not eating what they want whenever they want… they’d swallow the shit out of diet pills from china (that could actually contain rat poison for all you know) I’ll tell ya that! Even though I know why they do it… I still wonder… maybe there’s another explanation… like, they’re afraid of failure, or they’re afraid they’d be laughed at if they told someone about their new diet and that other person says “LOL! You diet that hard and still look like shit??!”, or they’re afraid they’d work out really hard but not find any results… but no.. that’s not the reason… the real reason is this:
MISHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
It’s just so boring and involves work… people don’t want that… they want a pill… even if you can control the future, go through a time machine, take a picture of that person after they work out and diet and show them how they’d look great after a year of training… they’d still say “meh… I’m sure there’s a pill out there that’ll make it easier… I’ll just keep looking for that pill”…
One of my clients told me that his mother in law was on a “diet pill from china” and he wanted me to check it out for him… all he had was the name of the website… the whole damn thing was in Chinese… you can’t even read the ingredients for god’s sake!!! She would rather swallow “tineeeez toggy powdered pee pee” than walk a damn mile a day… sadly, these are the same people who come up to you and say “do you take protein? That shit's bad… it’ll make you sterile and you’ll get brain cancer after your kidneys rot from it… where’s my dried dog pee pill? I need to lose more weight in the next 5 minutes”…. I actually know people who flew to Lebanon to go to a doctor with a “secret” pill that makes you lose weight… he gives these women the pill, they fly back here, take the pill, lose weight for a wedding, then gain it back after the wedding… after further research, I found out that this pill is basically lasix… he tells them to take it every 4 hours for 2 days and not drink or eat anything… btw, lasix is a loop diuretic… one of the strongest… ever wonder how some elite bodybuilders lose 15-20 lbs THE NIGHT OF THE CONTEST?! Imagine if I told you that you could lose 10-15 lbs in 8 hours? That’ll be awesome right? Ofcourse, you wouldn’t give a shit if you died of dehydration or your kidneys failed… you fucking lost weight with a pill!!! Yeah, you’d gain it back in a couple of hours or a day… but who gives a shit! You lost it, didn’t you?
Fucking dumb asses… I swear this woman paid more than 5000 riyals for a trip and pill to lose water… just incase you’re wondering… a box of lasix in any pharmacy costs around 10 riyals or so… LOL!!!!

ZA KINGDOM COMPETITION!!! part 2...

I don't know on what basis they name these stupid contests on... but the name of this one was "national competition: weight class winners" or something stupid like that... anyway... weighed in the night before at 88.5 kg after dropping my water to make weight (was around 92 kg the day before that), so i got flat, but looked a lot better (leaner)... still, i was fatter than last time...

anyway... I was there early... went to the venue and one of the judges came to me and said "you'd better put paint on this time or i swear you won't win"... i said "don't worry... i'll put paint... is it that important? i'm already dark!" he said "last time, the only reason you lost was because you didn't put any paint on"... WTF? that's why i lost the nationals? because i was dark enough, didn't need paint, but still i had to put that drilling fluid on my body???? ass holes...

anyway... the coach came and put around 7 gallons of dreamtan on my ass...




Went on stage and found abdulmohsin there (the guy who won last time... he's actually a nice guy. we got to know each other the day before)... and it was only the two of us in the 90 kg class...
i was fatter than last time and he was leaner...











































saw a cockroach and decided to kill it!!! LOL!! zippy loves this picture :)















we were done after cramping my ass up from all that posing and shit...
when i went back to the little gym they had, i saw the video that jawad took... and to tell you the truth, it could've went either way...
As one of the judges told me later on, i was leaner, had a better flow to the body and better symmetry, but he was generally bigger and had better structure...

after wiping off the damn dreamtan, you can see that the definition is better... here is when we went back onstage to hear the placing











anyway...

GOT FIRST PLACE, BITCHES!!! LOL!!!!
AND I WON SOME GROCERY MONEY!!! HAHAHAH

Technology… I don’t has it!

I attended a seminar that was supposed to be about a certain subject of interest in the workplace, but during the whole 7 hour seminar, they only talked about what I wanted to hear for less than 5 minute. They were marketing their own “business” instead.

Anyway, that’s not the point. They started talking about social networking and what not that really caught my attention… why? Cuz I hate that facebook and myspace crap and was like “WTF does this have to do with anything??” … then they talked about IBM’s social network and how you can actually find solutions to whatever problem you have at work or whatever. Everyone on that network would write a description about what they’re good at (professionally), and you just find whoever you need and ask them for help… this was the first time someone actually mentioned something useful about social networking (the usual reasons are “to find all friends and keep in touch”… no shit… this actually means “to see if I can meet a myspace hoe”… doesn’t apply to everyone… but you get my point… anyway, I was never into that shit cuz it would get me into some crap if I did…)

Ok… so what stupid metaphor am I gonna come up with this time? it’s like saying “hey… you know that whore house down the street? They have the most awesome chicken wings”… usually, 99% of the people there will go for whores… and you’ll find about 2 or 3 people eating chicken wings… get my drift? Tell your wife you went for the chicken wings… see if she believes you… LOL!!!

Anyway… after the dude actually came up with a legit reason for social networking… he talked about this little USB gadget where if someone else has it, you just touch yours with theirs (damn… sounded perverted) and you’d have them as a friend… and how this will be the new business card in the future…

This just set off a chain reaction in my brain… I’m being left out on a lot of shit!!! Yes, it is my fault… but damn… I’m gonna be like those old timers that you see you searching for some shit on yahoo! And then they say “what the hell is this crap… you and your gadgets and sorcery and shit… what the hell is wrong with the encyclopedia Britannica? What the fuck is Wikipedia?? Nyaah…burp…”

I’M GONNA BE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!! :(

Really… I’m starting to become an idiot (starting?? HAHAHAHAHA)… pretty soon I’ll be calling jawad and saying “hey! Where’s my interwebs??? It’s not there!!!”… and he’ll ask about specifics… the problem will be that I still have windows XP running on my Pentium 2 in the year 2038…

Contest tomorrow
Gonna wiggle my fat ass and try to make some money!!! LOL!!! Wish me luck!

Optimisim: Usually it Rapes You Up The Ass
The Kingdom Championship

In the last contest, someone asked me if i didn't put on fake tan because i knew i was going to win... if you look back, you'd know my answer hasn't changed.
I went to the contest holding a lot of water under my skin, and no water inside my muscles. i don't know if it was the antibiotics or what... i did the same shit i did last time, but this time it got fucked up. I arrived there feeling tired and dehydrated, sipping on my gatoraid, waiting for the shit to start. The guys and i found a mutant and decided to take a picture with it








It's name is Qasim Laith... a very famous bodybuilder in saudi arabia, and as you can see, his baggy shorts are about to burst.

anyway... there were a shit ton of competitors that day... the 65 kg class was PACKED!! lots of potential in those guys. there were about 8 if i remember correctly. It took about 30 minutes for their pre judging... after that, the 70 kg guys... didn't take long... only 3 people there... the 75 kg guys were pretty good... Zakariya, the guy in the 85 kg class last time, went down to the 80 kg class and was SHREDDED!!! but he was no where near as impressive as the new guy in the 85 kg class... pro potential there... don't know his name, but he was AWESOME!!!
anyway... when the 80 kg class were on, i went to pump up...
little by little i started sweating out water from under my skin... it was as hard as hell to get a pump... it felt more like a strain and pain in my muscles rather than a pump























I didn't put any paint on... as usual... cuz i didn't feel like it.
we went on stage and we were a total of 5 contestants...




















when we got off stage... i don't want to sound cocky, cuz i'm not... but i owned their asses... i left that stage with a big smile on my face...

anyway... we waited til they were gonna announce our placing... went on stage...




they announced fifth place... he wasn't in the picture... but the dude was at around 20% bodyfat and was holding around 50 lbs of water...
then they announced fourth place... in the picture on top, on the right, in the back... and i was like "huh?? fourth???"




then they announced third place... the guy in the middle wearing the red... I was like "WTF??? are these guys serious???"




then they announced second place... when that happened... my mind went blank... i could hear was the sound of... nothing...







then they announced first place.... guess who got it???

this guy

I don't even remember doing this pose

In this picture... the guy in the jacked and tie... if you see him on the street... please do me a favor and spit in his face...

I'm glad i'm not the only one...

Some people say "well, you don't have a degree in nutrition... so you're stupid and the nutritionist is right! you don't know shit!"

true... i don't have a degree in nutrition... but this guy does ;)

"Sadly I have gone through 5 years of college for Dietetics and have learned way more through bodybuilding and my own research than I have in any of my classes. One of my teachers used to argue and argue with me on subjects pertaining to athletics and she is a RD LD and Sports dietitian and she is really biased toward certain things. She is one of the head of the depatments we hate each other because I made an obese comment: saying that she shouldnt be giving dieting advice to elite athletes when she is obese. LOL bitch hates me. THEN karma hit. She was hired on as the Sports dietitian for our College football team (OSU), 1 month later FIRED because she didnt know her shit and none of the players would listen to her because she was obese. LOL then the players came to me for advice. funny shit

Practice what you Preach! "

Today's the contest

weighed in last night... i was 88.5 kg... I didn't see any of the other heavyweights who were competing because we were there on fucking time, and no one else was. so we decided to weigh in and leave. there were a couple of people sitting around who looked like trucks in a t-shirt, but i don't think they'll be competing.
anyway... i don't look half as sharp as i did last time... but who gives a damn. I'm bloated from the antibiotics and my waist is about 0.8 inches bigger than it was last time and for some reason, i'm not losing much water. The weird thing is, i look leaner in some parts and fatter in others... weird.. anyway... hopefully i'll post some pics and the results tonight or tomorrow.

Hahhahahahahaa…. Pfffff…. Women…. LOL!!!!

Go to your nutritionist!!!! They have a nice plan for you… here, see what the people with PhD’s in nutrition have to say

This is from “First For Women” Magazine:"In order to turbocharge weight loss, you need to consume low-energy density (ED) fruit, which contains the highest possible volume of water, fiber and enzymes," says clinical nutritionist Jay Robb. The best picks fall in the ED range of 0 to .6 (the lower the better), says nutrition scientist Barbara Rolls, Ph.D. Here, the most slimming options:

1.Strawberries
2.Raspberries
3.Watermelon
4.Grapefruit
5.Cantaloupe
6.Honeydew
7.Papaya
8.Peaches
9.Tangerines
10.Apricots
11.Pineapple
12.Oranges
13.Plums
14.Blueberries
15.Apples

Here’s just a little FYI for ya…
Carbs/cals Per average sized piece
Strawberries 0.85g/3.7cals
Raspberries 0.25g/1cal
Watermelon (per average slice) 20.5g/92cals
Grapefruit 19g/75cals
Papaya (per 1 cup cubes) 14g/55cals
Apple 21g/84cals


I can go on and on…
What am I trying to say here?
Basically, eat these fruits!!! But don’t forget the green tea and yogurt!!! You’ll have a figure just like Jessica Beil’s in no time! Don’t forget to wear your tennis shoes when you exercise, because as Mariam’s friend said, you won’t burn any calories if you wear regular shoes while exercising.


oh... btw... if you don't know who this Jay Robb nutritionist is, he's been on oprah and shit... he's got his own line of supplements that oprah once told every fat bitch to buy (overpriced, and shit quality), and he actually has fitness/figure models on his commercial for the "lose 9 lbs in 3 days fruit flush diet"... the guy sounds legit.

Another thing I want to add…

They were talking about some bitch’s body on oprah… I really don’t know who she was and forgot her name… but apparently she got fat and pregnant, and now she’s fit and in a bikini in her shoot “for the first time since her pregnancy!!” OMG OMG OMG!!!!!! … anyway… A LOT of people underestimate the ability of someone who has the cash to just go into a cosmetics clinic and undergo liposuction and ab etching… when you know how real abs look like, real skin looks like, and normal fat depositions look like, you’d know how many fuckers get that shit done.
But most importantly, take their advice when they tell you how to get thin like them! Pay no attention to retards who try to make your life difficult and depressing by telling you to diet like a crazy caveman and tell you to exercise like a maniac… all you need is green tea, yogurt and fruits… even ask oprah! I’m sure that dumb fat bitch knows.

I'z tired, bossz :(
i'm as flat as fuck right now and i'm waiting til i finish my cardio this evening then i'll start my shitload. weight is 87 kg this morning... this is after pissing 7 gagillion times last night... trying to increase my water intake but my throat is too fucked up to drink a lot of water. yes, i got hit with a throat infection last thursday night, and now it's ok but i still have that "burnt" feeling in my throat...
weigh-in is gonna be wednesday evening, 1 day out... and for those who want to attend, it'll be in the same place (ittifaq club) probably after asr prayer. I don't think there will be a long wait this time since weigh ins are done. but, never underestimate the "punctuality" of these retards... or should i say the lack of.

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

I’ve had it up to here with this shit!!!

It’s been close to 4 years now since I’ve started this website (actually, aziz did it for me. I’m technologically illiterate to do any of this shit… I’m just glad I can type)… my main goal at the time was to educate people and “send the message”. It’s really funny how sometimes I see people at the gym or whatever and they actually know me from my blog. It puts a smile on my face that I’ve attracted more than 3 people to this place… but, what’s the fucking use if most of the people who come on here would later on ask for my advice then say “you don’t know what you’re talking about”.
In this post, I’m gonna throw modesty out the window… frankly, who gives a flying fuck about modesty. If I kept on saying that I’m the greatest nutritionist in the world for the past four years and fucked modesty up the ass, I would probably be the greatest nutritionist in the world right now just because people kept repeating it. When you talk to me, and want to argue, first thing you should do is look in the mirror. Then you look at me and please keep in mind that I built my ass from ground zero with shit genetics and “no free time”, and no fucking extra income from “baba”.
Now, let me get to what I wanna say here. I have wasted A LOT of my free time training A LOT of people for free in the past… I have also wasted a lot of my time answering any question anyone threw at me with regards to nutrition/training/health, IN DETAIL! I get out of my way to do favors for other people. Writing up programs for people who are actually in very bad health, answering a shit ton of emails when I’m at home when I would rather sit on the couch with my wife and just watch tv, changing my schedule around just to go to the gym with other people to teach them how to do exercises correctly. For fucking what? Why do I devote my time to helping people, when in the end, if I say “an apple isn’t as healthy as they say it is” I will be left with “you are an extremist. You really don’t know what you’re talking about. Common knowledge says you’re wrong and I’ll just throw everything you said to me in the trash”…
You heard it here first… fuck common knowledge and fuck everything you know. Really, all of you people don’t know shit about shit when it comes to this stuff. You are dumber than 3 year olds when it comes to this stuff. And the way you perceive the things I tell you… boy, you guys are fucking dumb asses.
There are people I would like to exclude from this list on a first name basis… Mariam, Jawad, Bandar, Tariq S, Mohammad S, Rashid, Abdullah U, Abdulelah, Aziz S, Aziz N, Hani, Manie. Those are the only people I exclude from what I’m saying. These people have shown nothing but support in the best of ways and are very intelligent when it comes to choosing which source they should believe.
It’s funny how most people (especially people who are close to me) SAY I am wrong, and I don’t know what I’m talking about until they get engaged, they apply for a job they can’t get without losing weight, or they are about to die of heart disease. Then, magically, everything that they said was wrong somehow turns into “I trust you, bro.”
Let me give you some examples of what I’m talking about…
I was sitting with my family last Friday and they started a discussion about health and shit. There was an email sent out from the hospital that my mom works at that read “Nutrition & Cancer prevention lecture”. So, I emailed my mom and told her to ask the lecturer about these specific questions:
1- Can you explain in detail how certain foods can prevent cancer (medically, and not some general chit chat bullshit)
2- Can you please give me references to your explanation and this research you are talking about so I can look it up.
Anyway, so Friday I asked my mom if she asked those questions and she replied “are you crazy? Why are you against health and good nutrition?”… we got into a big discussion and all the family ganged up on me and was trying to tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about, and that if you eat fruits, vegetables, and honey you will look like a greek god and live to be 1000… Anyway, in the end, I told them that I promote moderation… they immediately jumped on my case and said “no you don’t! you are an extremist! And if it’s not done your way it’s wrong! We are the ones who practice moderation, not you! All you say is to take it to the extreme!”… so, I held up an apple and said “how many grams of carbs does this have?” … they looked at me like I was crazy… held up a banana and said “how many calories does this have?”… again, same retarded look… “how much potassium is in it?”… same retarded look… held up a bunch of almonds and said “how much fat is in this? What kind of fat? What kind of vitamins are in this?” … no one said shit… then I said “well how the hell do you guys think you are being moderate with your food when you don’t know what the fuck is in it????!!” … again… their reaction was “why are you being angry? Why are you raising your voice? This is not a way to discuss any kind of issue… you won’t live long if you stress yourself… I heard that stress isn’t good for you… the doctor said so”… again, they try to change the subject and then go back to calling me an extremist… let’s leave family alone for a while… it’s a lost cause to try and teach someone about health when they are obese, have a fatty liver, extremely bad cholesterol and then say “no I don’t! I’m perfectly healthy!”
A friend of mine was talking about diet and shit… and I was joking around and said “yeah, eat yogurt and shit like they tell you in emails”, and then another friend of mine jumped up and said “what? Now you’re gonna say yogurt isn’t’ healthy?”… so I say “the health benefits they talk about these days are bullshit… the whole health benefits are based on the probiotics in the yogurt itself, but when you pasteurize it, you are killing all the good bacteria… so eating yogurt is just like fucking drinking milk or laban”… so he says “what? Now you’re saying milk and laban aren’t healthy!?” … yeah, I have to deal with retarded shit like this all the time… and then I said “no, they are healthy… but it’s one thing to say it’s healthy, and it’s another to say it fucking cures brain tumors”… and now the kicker! So the other friend looks at me and says “you know, I truly believe that 90% of the things you say regarding this subject are utter bullshit because you are an extremist and you change your mind all the time, but this actually makes sense.”
Why is this funny to me? Because the person who said this crap weighs 370 lbs on a good day, morbidly obese, and couldn’t even follow a diet from the damn diet center that brings his food to his lap every damn day.

The main problem I see with your average retard these days is that HE IS THE EXTREMIST and not me… when I say “an orange doesn’t have that much vitamin C…” it will not be imply that you need other sources for vitamin C, and oranges are a good food source to include in your diet but it isn’t enough… NO!!! it will be heard as “Hamad is stupid… he says that oranges are bad for you and they’ll kill you… he’s stupid… “

Back to the “you change your mind all the time” crap… people say that because they are retarded and I am awesome. When I write down a diet for a client, I don’t have a certain protocol I go by… I just look at him, or talk to him and design a diet I think he would follow and would give him good results at the time. If a guy says “man, I can’t stop eating sweets… that’s my problem” I write up a diet with lots of fruits, honey, cereals… things that could stop his cravings. If someone says “I love salty food” I would design a diet that’s low in carbs and high in fats and proteins… they all fucking work! So this is why if I take the time to help one of my retarded friends or someone I don’t even know and write down a diet for him.. it will be different than the diet that I will write down for him next month… or for another person with the same circumstances. Idiots don’t understand that it’s not the fucking chemical diet!!! I said this in my old book, and I’ll say it again:
Losing or gaining weight is a result of a caloric deficit or surplus. The nature of the weight you will lose or gain will depend on the method of exercise and your macronutrient ratios!!!
If you have higher carbs, I will always include cardio… lower carbs, not so much… it depends… but the rule is the same. But if I tell a retard to eat an apple with meal 1… then a month later I tell him to eat an orange… he’ll say “what? You’re tricking me!!! You always change your mind!”…

Anyway… I know the people who appreciate my knowledge and help and I have mentioned them here… other than those people, I will not help anybody! Period! If you come and ask me for advice, I will give you what you want to hear. Eat fruits, veggies, stay away from “white” stuff, and do lots of situps. That’s all you need to live to be a hundred years old. Doctors are always right… and I’m just a stupid guy who lifts weights. Oh, and I got big because I use protein powder. Once I stop it, all my muscles will turn into fat. Don’t forget your dates, you won’t get into heaven if you don’t eat those.

You could argue that I’m not a poster boy for health… I really don’t give a shit. I could die of a heart attack at the age of 30. Who cares? I’m not into all this health crap, but I fucking do my research and I do it good. I don’t take my info from fucking emails and my goddamn barber. If I wanna look up something I’d go to pubmed or the New England journal of medicine. You’d be surprised of how many doctors actually get their “medical opinion” from google and hippie sites. Just look at Dr.Atkins… we always make fun of him that he died from his own diet… fact is, he didn’t die from the diet. And he was 72 years old for fuck’s sake! When he died, the atkins diet went to the shitter… and then was reborn as the ketogenic diet. Of course, retards didn’t know that it was the same damn thing. And the medical community still believes that his diet isn’t healthy because of his death. No matter what you do with regards to health and trying to educate people, if you die, you will be rendered as an idiot and your ideas were bullshit because you diet at the age of 183, when you should’ve lived to be 500 years old assuming your diet was healthy, right?

So, no more free advice. No more help. No more trying to change the way people think. You want advice? Go to your doctor or nutritionist for help.