Excerpts from the Diary of A Pissed Off Bodybuilder
The price we pay for our hobbies

I came back from Bahrain last Thursday with my wife, and I brought some protein powder back with me. When we got to customs, the officer there (if you can call him officer… more like “barely got my highschool degree” uneducated shitbag) saw the GNC bags I had in the back seat and told me to open them. When I did he asked “is that protein?”… no, it’s the remains of my old dog, skip. “yeah it’s protein”. He then asked “why didn’t you buy it from Saudi?” I said “because I pay 5 times more for half the quantity over there”. And then the fucker said “it’s prohibited to bring supplements from Bahrain into Saudi, especially protein powder.” I almost kicked him in the shin. “WHY??” then he said “look, put them back in the car quick before anyone sees them and I’ll let it go this time.” So, in my brain I had this discussion “okay, make a scene like any Saudi would, act all proud and what not just to give your friends a story to brag about, and lose the protein. Or, shut the hell up, take your protein, and let that fucker rot in the heat and humidity…” I chose option #2… anyway, I got pissed the f*** off. I called one of my friends from the gym that night (he usually sells protein powder and shit at the gym real cheap cuz he gets them from Bahrain) and asked him about this. He said “yeah. GNC in Saudi is losing shitloads of money from this. So, they filed a complaint and banned everyone from getting their supps from Bahrain. But my brother works in customs so I don’t have a problem.” So, this shit got me thinking (yes.. I can actually think… sometimes… maybe). You cannot take up a hobby here in Saudi without paying shitloads of money that you shouldn’t have to. I used to play guitar a while back… 7 long years… in the end… I kinda gave it up. Too much money to spend. $4 strings cost $15 here. $300 guitars cost $1000 here. Don’t get me started on amps and drums and shit. I was part of a band, and it cost us $5000 per year just to find a place in the middle of no where to jam. If anyone heard us play, they’d be like “what’s this? English music? THEY WARSHIP THE DEVIL!!!! CALL THE POLICE AND HAY’AA NOW AND KILL THEM!!!” so, just to be in a band and play the music you love costs around $10000 a year. And keep in mind, most of us weren’t making a lot of cash back then. I remember we needed a double bass drum pedal once. Took us about 3 months and $600 to get it. I had to drive 40 KM just to go to the place we rehearsed in. so, that’s a lot of gas money. So, I just decided to put that on hold for a while. Then, I took up bodybuilding. I went broke, FAST! 2 lbs of whey protein plus 10 servings of creatine would cost me about $200. and ofcourse, my family does not believe in good food… well, good food to them is any thing fried or drenched in oil (they still truly believe it’s healthier than what I eat), so, they gave me the finger and I had to buy my own food. Again, another $200-$300 per month, which was basically my months pay. Now, I buy 10 lbs of protein, 200 serving of creatine, vitamins, lots of crap… for under $200. AND THE F***ERS ARE TRYING TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME??!!! You know what? Almost everyone I know thinks what I’m doing is a waste of time and money. You know why they say that? Because they believe in the “Saudi dream”. You don’t know what the Saudi dream is? Oh, come on. You know what it is. The Saudi dream is working a stupid job day and night and kissing ass so you can get a promotion you’ll never have… ofcourse, all the stress from kissing ass at work is blown off on your family… you do this for 30 years until you save up and get a loan from the bank to buy land and build a big house… why build a house? Because you need to feel secure and you have something that’s actually yours… and your kids have a place to stay… ofcourse your kids are 30 by the time you build the house… you owe the bank 2 million riyals plus you’re retired, so you can’t pay it off… so the debt goes down to your kids… hobbies? Why? They only take away money from building your house… gifts for your wife and kids? No… they take away money from the house… long term investments? No no no… they take away money for the house… quick money from the Saudi stock market? YES!!! I’LL MAKE 10 MILLION IN 2 DAYS!!! BAM!!! You lost all your money, you’re drowning in debt, and your family hates the shit outta you… good old Saudi dream.
I know… I know… none of what I’m saying is connected… but I’m just pissed off and I want to unload. Which brings me to another thing I want to discuss. Why the f*** does every body want to be a manager? Are you all f***ing stupid? Look at what happened from all of this! Every body wants to lead and manage… now we have no followers. Every one around here is like “what is this crap? I’m not supposed to do this? I should get this promotion! They should make me do this… they should make me do that… not this… blah blah blah”… well f*** you, son. You’re not a leader… you never will be. So stop whining and do your f***ing job. If you were managerial material, it would show and everybody would know it. If you say “I have good leadership skills.” Then you don’t!! period. A good leader wouldn’t say that. Just to be clear on this. In my aspect of work, I am not a leader, not even close. I’m a follower. Give me work, I do it, I get paid, I go home. You wanna give me a promotion. Fine. You wanna give me a managerial position, I’m gonna f*** this division up big time. Sadly, managerial positions around here are given to your closest relatives that kiss your ass the most. Yes, some people deserve the positions they have, and they’re doing a great job. But most don’t know shit about management. All of this talk brings me to another issue. If you’re bored and you have nothing to do, keep on reading… if your busy… I’m just blabbering. So, go do your work.
Arabs. F***ing laughing stock of the world. Really, after seeing what’s happening in Lebanon… man. Let me tell you, I don’t know shit about politics. But all I know is this. We will never prosper. We will never rise above anyone. Oh, we have the power… we have the money… we also have greed, and no testicles. Let me tell you something my lead engineer told me. He was attending the Friday prayer when he was studying in texas. And the khateeb was an American professor that converted to islam years ago. And he was talking about the situation of muslims around the world, and then he said “I thank Allah that I converted to Islam before I went to hajj and spent time in Saudi Arabia. Because in America, I saw Islam, but I didn’t see muslims. In Saudi, I saw muslims, but I did not see Islam.”…
Do you want us to prosper and rise? The first thing you f***ers should do is STAND IN F***ING LINE!!!!! I have never, ever, ever seen an organized queue in Saudi Arabia. Never. Do this, and we’ll be A okay. But I’ll be the first to say, that this will never happen.
F***ing low carb diet….

Don’t kid yourself… That’s not cardio!!!


Sometimes people can’t help but piss you off in the worst way. I really don’t know if they mean it or not. You see, I train people for free. I write down diet and exercise programs for free. Every time I find a new piece of info, I give it out for free. When I get supplements for people, I don’t charge anything extra (hell, sometimes I take care of shipping charges for them). But still, they manage to f*** up in the worst way and I usually blame it on myself thinking I gave them a bad program… until I started seeing what they do in the gym paying attention to the little details in their diets. There is a common pattern of lies that I notice in my “trainees”. I will give examples of what these people say they do, and what they really do.

Subject #1
He says:
It’s been 4 weeks and I’ve actually gained a couple of kilos. I followed your diet exactly!! And I trained just like you said. Yes I did cardio. Very intense cardio for 1 hour every day. Yes, I trained with weights like you showed me.

What he really did:
When I write potatoes in the diet… he eats French fries. He decided to substitute olive oil with butter. He doesn’t like egg whites, so he replaced them with whole eggs. He doesn’t like the taste of chicken without the skin, so he decided to keep it in. tuna sandwich in whole wheat bread? He thinks that sandwiches at the cafeteria with 10 grams of tuna, 10 galloons of mayo, and white bread are the same.
Now for the training. None of the exercises he did were correct (although I showed him how to do them). He keeps jerking the weights up and down in a swinging motion. And get this… he jerks and swings… and the weights are only those pussy 5-10 lb dumbbells. Cardio you ask? 3 minutes on the stairmaster (at a very low speed) and he almost died. Very intense cardio for one hour MY ASS!!!

Subject #2 (I like to call this guy the skinny growler)

What he says:
I eat 7 meals a day like you said. Last time I checked it, it was around 4000 calories. I train about 4 days per week like you said. But the problem is that I’m not gaining any weight. I’ve tried increasing my calories and everything, but nothing seems to work. I’m thinking about using some steroids.

What he really did:
Now, this guy gained quite a bit of mass when he first started (beginner, plus, he was eating and training like he was supposed to). Then he hit a “plateau” which lasted about a year. Why? Let’s look at his diet.
Meal 1: cereal and protein shake
Meal 2: egg sandwich from the university cafeteria (only has one egg)
Meal 3: 6 inch subway sandwich
Meal 4: some snacks (chocolate bars, chips, soft drinks)
Meal 5: protein shake
Meal 6: 100 grams of tuna
Meal 7: 2 scrambled eggs

I don’t know how the f*** this is supposed to add up to 4000 calories… and it’s mostly junk.

Let’s see how he trains. His 4 days were actually 6 and they all had cardio in them (remember, he’s an ectomorph and he’s trying to gain weight). Usually, when I’m at the gym, I hear some screaming and yelling and I say “what the hell is going on?” pictures of someone benching 495 lbs or squatting 585 lbs pop up in my head. I go and see this guy leg pressing 90 lbs for 6 reps, screaming and yelling like a nut case. Who the fuck leg presses 90 lbs?? I know people that had numerous knee injuries and the least they can press is over 300 lbs for tons of reps. Anyway, this guy is hopeless… I tried reasoning with him… but he just went blank. When I was done talking, he would just ask “what’s the best protein powder you think I should use?”

Subject #3

What he says:
I’ve been going on your program for months now. I didn’t lose a lb! man, I think I should eat less or something. Yeah I do cardio. Jogging for about 50 minutes.

What he really does:
He goes on the diet for 2 weeks, loses about 6-8 lbs, then goes on a 4 weeks eating spree. I’ve seen him do cardio a couple of times. I can honestly say that I’d burn more calories by sitting on the couch than doing the same cardio he does.

Subject #4

This guy really pissed me off…

I gave this guy a diet and exercise program a while ago. I saw him in the cardio room a couple of weeks ago and he was on the stationary bike. The guy was peddling at a speed of 1 foot per hour. And… god I hate it when they do this… he was talking on his cell phone. So, I said “hey man, pick it up a notch. More speed”. Do you know what he said? “hey… I’m talking on the phone here!”… the nerve on that guy. What’s worse is he did cardio for 10 minutes during the phone call and then kept on talking and left the gym. Since he pissed me off so bad, I started giving him some wrong advice. You know, walking in a normal pace is better than jogging. Don’t eat after 6 pm. Eat salad if your hungry. Less food, more juice.

Look, I don’t charge for this kind of shit. I never have. As far as I know, from people who are actually following the programs I write up precisely, the programs work. Unfortunately, very few people follow those programs. The rest just say “thanks man. I really need to lose all this weight fast. Thanks a lot”, or “thanks man. I’ve been training for years and I haven’t gained shit… finally someone’s helping me out” AND THEN THEY F*** UP AND QUIT ON THE SECOND DAY!!! The funny thing is, the programs I write down aren’t even hard to follow. They aren’t very strict. What I write up on my blog is what I PERSONALLY do, not what I write up for others. When I sit with you, and talk to you, waste an hour trying to briefly explain how to burn fat or gain muscle, and write down what you need to do, I don’t want you to thank me. I don’t care if you slap me in the face and say “this better work!!”. I just want you to follow it and get the results you want.

8.5 weeks out

Well, there’s not much time left and I still look like a fat ass. The 2400-2600 calorie/day diet wasn’t cutting it really. I was losing about ½ lb per week, which I prefer if I had more time… a lot more time. Unfortunately, I don’t. So, I decided to change things and go back to the old depletion/loading diet. But I took a “rest week” last week. You see, my wife is very supportive. So supportive that she decided to diet with me to keep my spirit up. Some of it was good, to me atleast. I mean, turkey sandwiches, tuna sandwiches, fruits, salads with dressings… but still, my wife doesn’t need to diet, so why should she suffer? Eh, took a week off and ate like a pig with Maryam. Luckily, I got sick last week. So, it was a double whammy! I gained so much fat, it aint even funny. I just started the “new” diet last Friday, and the shit’s merciless. 1400-1600 calories for 4 days straight is not my idea of a fun time. My stomach hurts all the time from the hunger. And when you get to eat, it’s pure crap!! But hey, the shit works. Here’s what I’m currently eating… eating doesn’t sound right for this kind of food… let’s just say “ingesting”:

Friday/sat/sun/mon/tue (AM only)

Meal 1
75 grams whey in water
Rice cake
1 Tbsp jam

Meal 2&3
200 grams tuna in brine
2 Tbsp low fat mayo (4.5g of fat per tbsp)
1 Apple

Meal 4
50 grams whey in water

Meal 5
6 egg whites
2 whole eggs
2 slices low fat cheese
1 tbsp olive oil

270 gr protein, 70 gr carbs, 35 gr fat
1635 calories

Tuesday (pm)/Wed/Thu
Carb load with 800 grams total in 3 days
1 gram protein per lb
Minimal fat (<30>

Excerpts from the diary of a pissed off bodybuilder

The Problem with Saudis and Food

A guy from work came to my office… okay, cubicle… a couple of days ago to talk to me about how to lose weight and the usual shit. And he brought another problem to my attention. I’ve heard people complain about this a lot, yet they’re afraid to do anything about it. Yes, I’m talking about dinner invitations or invitations in general. Saudis, Arabs in general, have a tendency to show “generosity” by inviting people to dinner, fighting to pick up the other guys tab, etc. Let’s just get one thing straightened out, when you’re poor and you keep on inviting people and picking up their tabs… it’s not generosity, it’s stupidity. You have to actually have EXTRA money to give away to be generous. But that’s not the point. I was writing down a program for my colleague who was in my office… okay, cubicle… and then he looked at me as if I wrote a love letter to his wife and he said “AISH HATHA?? (what’s this?)” so I asked him what was wrong? He said “My wife and kids can’t eat this!!” … a question mark popped out from the top of my head and I started questioning if this guy was on crack or not. I told him “No. No. This is for you.” He said “yeah I know. But families should always eat the same food together. It’s impossible to do.” Again, I didn’t have a clue about what he was talking about. Then I told him to prepare his own food and eat it with his family while they ate a different kind of food. It took me a while to get it through his thick head. Then he asked about what he’d do if he got invited to dinner or whatever, since he got invited a lot. I told him if it’s on his cheat day, he should go, if not, he should just apologize. This time he looked at me as if I killed his mom. “APOLOGIZE? BECAUSE I’M ON A DIET?? ARE YOU CRAZY?” he explained how it would be catastrophic if someone invited him and he didn’t go. It would start a “war” of some sort. Of course, being Saudi and having relatives from the planet cow, I knew what he was talking about. So I just told him my point of view. If people can’t respect your lifestyle, and they’d get angry if they tried to change it and you APOLOGIZE for rejecting their offer, then it’s their problem and not yours. He started thinking about it, but still he did not agree with me because it’s “tradition”. And tradition is like 1+1=2, any other answer is wrong. So, he decided then he “can’t” diet because he gets invited to dinner atleast 3 times a week. And of course, as usual, he can’t exercise because he “doesn’t have time”. It’s strange how people don’t have time to do a 45 minute workout, but amazingly they have time to stay up til 1 am to watch a 2 hour football match. The problem is that the same guy I was talking to came into my office… okay, cubicle… yesterday with chocolates and offered me some. I said “no thanks. You know I’m dieting.” And the f***er got upset and started yelling at me for saying no. I just tapped his big ass belly and said “I said no because I don’t wanna look like that”.

But you know who I can’t stand? Extremely overweight, and mostly obese people who think they’re only “chubby” that come to me and say “why do you torture yourself like this? Why don’t you enjoy food like us normal people?” well you know what, fatty? F*** you. I enjoy food more than anyone I know. I eat the food I love once a week. I enjoy it. Most people ABUSE food and eat junk and crap everyday and say that they “enjoy” food. Let’s face it people. Everyone is getting fatter because they do not want to lift a f***ing finger and they can’t say no to food. It’s not because we have more soft drinks, candy, fast food, etc. WE HAVE MORE BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT MORE DEMAND!!! F***ing fat asses drive all the way to Mcdonald’s, order junk that’s costs 30 riyals, then they say “allah yil3an McDonalds, it made me fat”. No, your stupidity made you fat. Your negligence made you fat. And your lack of self control made you fat. One thing that really turns my head is when a 19 year old that does drugs dies of an overdose, we say he deserved to die. When a 15 year old kid smokes, we look at him in disgust and say “where are his parents?”. But when we see a 12 year old obese kid with big cheeks we say “aawww, how cute!!” and when he dies at the age of 35 from a heart attack we say “poor guy, he was so young.” Why? What’s the difference between the 3? The first one was old enough to know that drugs were harmful and still did them, the second one is old enough to know that cigarettes cause lung cancer and all kinds of other shit but he still smoked, and when the third one knows that he’d die if he didn’t exercise and watch his diet yet he still neglects it, we call him “miskeen”.
I admit, what I do is not healthy. Especially contest prep. But what I do is still much much much much much more healthier than being slightly, moderately, and severely overweight or obese.

Keep on training, and stay away from ice cream. That shit’s evil. =P