Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Deleted post :)

I was gonna post something really long about being civilized in this country, but I decided not to, cuz I don’t want to go to prison or be beheaded :) … basically what I was trying to say was:
It sucks living here because there is no order!

As the German emperor in the movie “Amadeus” says:
“there it is!” LOOOOOOOOL

What the fuck is wrong with you people?!!?!?!?!

Core training baby!!!!! Core training!!!! YEAH!!!! Bring out that boso ball… the more complicated and stupid the exercise looks, the better the results!!! Yeah baby!!! COOORRRREEEE!!!!! YYYYEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!

What the fuck is wrong with you and these new exercises. All this “spinning” crap, and boso balls, and colors and shit? Huh? Do I have to smack you people upside the head with a shillelagh?





















Cash!!! Bil wajh!!! Izzibda!!! The butter!!! I have to tell you this a billion times:
You want to be a good swimmer, you swim
You want to be a good sprinter, you sprint
You want to be a good football player, you play football
You want to be a good bicyclist, you ride a bike
You want to build your body? As in, look good? You build your body!!! Now switch those words around… yes? BODYBUILDING!!!!! HEAVY ASS WEIGHT!!! CHICKEN!!! TUNA!!! POTATOES!!! (boil’em, mash’em, put’em in a stew!)

Enough with this shit… I will say it again!!! You want to lose muscle and look like a smaller piece of shit? Do what you’re doing! Keep it up! You’re doing a good job looking like ass!

Dumb asses…

Women, Beauty, Make up, and Bullshit

I will probably get a lot of shit for posting this (cuz I get a lot of shit at my parent’s house when I open this subject) but who gives a fuck, really. I am sick and tired of having people idolizing celebrities and thinking that they are actually beautiful and shit (I’m talking about female celebrities). I would estimate that probably 60% of the celebrities who are considered “beautiful” are butt ugly… or to put it in a better term, fugly. If I hired a professional photographer that charges $5000 per hour, a make up artist who charges $1500 per session, an expert in photo brushing and shit, and spend $10,000-$100,000 worth of surgery on luffers da tinese toggy, I would make him prettier than any whore on TV.

The resemblance and the way I see it

Beyonce = Monkey
Kim Kardashian = Tranny
Madonna = Crack whore
Sara Jessica Parker = Abomination and an insult to humanity
Paris Hilton = Lizard/13 year old anorexic boy
Jennifer Lopez = walking cellulite that smells like Mexican ass piss

The list goes on… Put any actress/performer/whore under a florescent light without any trick photography… even with make up on… she’d look like shit. There are only a few that are actually “beautiful”, but I will not mention them due to me being married. So, as long as I’m concerned, every bitch out there is fugly and my wife is the only gorgeous woman alive.

Just to keep things under perspective… beautiful is beautiful under any circumstances. There is nothing called “it was bad lighting” or “it’s a funny angle” or whatever…

Enjoy






Current progress

Yes yes… I know I promised to post pictures every 4 weeks, but I won’t. why?
1- progress is fucking excellent, and I want to add that “wow” effect so I can sucker in more clients :P… so I’ll post’em later
2- as luffers da tinese toggy would say “you haily golirra!!!” and I don’t feel like fucking shaving off my built-in sweater.

But! I can tell you all about it! … I’m up to 195 lbs now, and my waist is a little under 33 inches. I never look “flat” or “stringy” due to the diet I’m going by. Again, I won’t mention the exact diet or anything like that because it’s my little secret. It took a lot of thinking to get to it, and it’s pretty much personalized for me. I reviewed all the notes and shit I had in the past years and came up with this crap. The best thing being that it takes no effort to stick to it. I’ve been following it for the past 6 weeks with no change whatsoever and results are still coming. I’m usually very modest when it comes to this shit, but this time… I FUCKING RULE!!!! I gained a shit ton of muscle, lost an ass load of fat, gained strength, I look full and get a pump all the time, bloat is minimal, I hit the shitter 2-3 times per day (yeah, you didn’t need to know that), and it just keeps getting better. I have also realized a lot of other shit… dieting to strictly lose fat in record time is the worst thing you can do. That’s what I did in all the past years, and I always turn up looking like shit. This year, since I have a lot of time on my hands, I have had much better results losing fat slowly (Bandar can vouch for my progress). Keeping muscle (and gaining some) while losing fat slowly will ensure that you don’t need to make many (if any) changes to the diet or training program. Your metabolism will be high all the time. For example, I was doing my cardio this morning and it was 17 degrees outside, and I was sweating bullets while wearing a tank top.
Right now I am as lean as I was when I competed last year, but I am holding more water (which really isn’t a problem at all). This is also the first time I have pretty clear separation between my hamstrings and quads. I was planning on switching to last year’s diet when I’m 8 weeks out to make sure I’m shredded, but then I said “why fuck with a good thing?” I know I said I won’t take any chances on not showing up shredded, but still, I’d rather be at 5% fat with minimal muscle loss (in this case, muscle gain), rather than at 3.5% fat looking stringy and flat.

Since everyone ends my debates about almost everything in this way (i.e. the "That's blasphemy!!! how could you say that burgers are unhealthy?! you will burn in hell!" or shit like that)... i give you this

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/11/22/malaysia.yoga.banned.ap/index.html

this should end all debate about if yoga is healthy or whatever, if you are a muslim. You do yoga, you burn in hell... LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Transformations

Remember that picture I posted of me when I was 62 kg skinny/fat (maybe 18% fat)? If I posted those pictures on another website as the “before” pictures, and pictures of me in my last contest as the “after” pictures and said: “I’m so proud of myself. I decided that it was time to get serious about physical fitness and strength. So, I decided to start going to the gym and work out. It took me a long 6 months to make that transformation happen, but it took a lot of dedication. I lifted weights for 4 hours everyday, and ate a lot of veggies and protein like soy, fish, and milk. My workout was basically 22 exercises for chest and biceps on day1, 30 exercises for back and triceps on day 2, and running to make my legs big for 4 hours on day 3 then repeat. I went from 130 lbs of skinny/fat, to 190 lbs of muscle at 5% fat in 6 months! I just want to be an inspiration for everyone and have them think of me as a role model. I hope my story motivates people to go to the gym and work hard to achieve a better body and better health.”

Would you believe it?
99% of the people who will read it, will believe it.
Sadly, there are hundreds of people who do this. Especially on websites and forums that I frequent. I have seen people saying that they are competing in the NPC (one of the hardest amateur bodybuilding competitions in the world) after only 18 months of training… then you look back at their history on other sites and find out that they have been working out and dieting seriously for decades. I have seen women claiming that it only took them a couple of months to get into shape and compete “for the first time” in figure competitions and win (this was on oprah, some of you might know who I’m talking about) and then find out that she’s been training and competing for decades with the help of anabolic steroids (when she claimed on the show that she only did “baby squats” and “baby push ups”)… people losing 50-150 lbs in less than a year by doing “only 10 minutes of exercise per day”, and not mentioning that they had 12 liposuction surgeries done with some tummy tucks and muscle implants on the side.

I can understand why someone would do this to push a supplement line where they get a percentage of the profits or whatever, or someone who wrote a book about fitness made easy or crap like that… but what I don’t understand is why people who have no financial agenda would do this? Is it because of attention? Most women who do this for attention don’t even mention training or whatever, they just have photo shoots of them done by any cheap ass company while posing in a string bikini, spreading their ass cheeks as far apart as they can… most of them even brag about how long and hard of a journey it was to reach that physique… Men usually do it to get some poontang… but bragging on a message board that’s 99% dominated by men, won’t get you laid.

I really don’t have any beef with these people… what I hate is the fucking retards who believe them. Shawn Ray (a very famous pro bodybuilder) said that he got his pro card after 3 years of training. A couple of years later, he said that he started training when he was 12. True, the man has phenomenal genetics, but no one has ever turned pro at the age of 15. According to his contest history, he won the nationals (that qualifies someone for their pro card) in 1987… and he was born in 1965… you do the math.
I personally know a guy who has the most awesome genetics I’ve ever seen… I met (talked to… I know him online) him 5 years ago. I asked him how long have you been training? And he answered “2 years”… fast forward 5 years later, and he still tells anyone who asks him that questions “2 years”… he’s probably been training for “2 years” for the past 15 years.

Why am I saying this? I’m telling you this cuz I don’t want you to believe any of that bullshit. You wanna look like a Somali refugee at 5’10, 120 lbs @ 4% fat? Train for 3 years with all your “high rep light weight” bullshit, swallow your “fat burner that only burn fat from your lower abs”, and drink those “protein shakes that bulk you up while losing fat”…
You wanna look good? You need a minimum of 5 years of really hard work in dieting and training.
YOU ALL WANT TO LOOK GOOD… but no one wants to work hard for it… some people are willing to workout like pussies and “drink protein shakes to bulk you up” for years on end to add 5 lbs of muscle and burn 2 lbs of fat, and keep on doing it for decades and they aren’t willing to go balls2thewall with their training and diet for 3 years because they are lazy. Not because (ready for this? Usual excuses):

“I don’t want to get too big”
“Women don’t like too much muscle”
“5% fat doesn’t look good”
“Muscle decreases flexibility”
“I’m into fitness, muscle decreases endurance”
“I lifted heavy for a week and got too big”
“I won’t look feminine”
… etc

All of those are just stupid excuses… and the people who say these things know they are excuses.

And you know what the worst excuse of all is?
“What’s the point of putting in all that effort if you’re gonna lose it all when you quit?”

Lamest shit I’ve ever heard… why the fuck would you quit? Oh yeah… right… you have no more time to workout, right? Mmm hmmm…

Excerpts from the diary of a pissed off bodybuilder

The difference between men and women in solving a problem

Man (A) to man (B)

A: I need to pick a number between 1 and 10
B: 5
A: ok. Thanks

Woman (A) to man (B)

A: I need to pick a number between 1 and 10
B: 5
A: you see, I think of numbers as colors… 1 is red, 2 is blue, 3 is
B: 5
A: when you mix the colors together, you come up with different numbers like 12, and 15
B: 5!!!!
A: I don’t know why life is so stressful and full of choices! It’s so hard to pick a …
B: 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5!! 5!!! 5!!!!!
A: I was talking to my friend about this, and I don’t know, she told me it might be good to pick 1, but it also might be good to pick 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or 10… we’re so confused!??
B: WTF?!?!?!? I’M TELLING YOU!!! 5!!!
A: I know it won’t make a difference what number I pick, I mean, it’s just a question a friend asked me, but I don’t know… Why doesn’t anyone understand me?
B: YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! I TOLD YOU!!! 5!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO ON AND ON ABOUT THIS WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A SOLUTION?!?!?!
A: you know, you’re an asshole. You need help. All men are the same. They’re all stupid assholes who don’t understand life. You need therapy. Why do you treat me like shit?




Conclusion: men like solutions… women don’t. they just want to talk… listening to the callers on Dr. Laura’s show makes me want to shoot the radio.


Winter

It’s here… get ready for alligator lips…happens to me every goddamn year. I look like a crack addict.


Fybogel

Use the damn thing!!! It’s been about 6 weeks straight now since I’ve started using it again (except for 3 days when I ran out and was too lazy to go get more), and my digestive system and GI track are… well… WOW! … It would be too graphic to explain here, but just trust me on this. 1 pack in the morning with breakfast is all you need, but be consistent! You’ll know what I mean when you do!... AND DRINK 3-6 LITERS OF WATER IF YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE IT!!! if you don’t drink water, it will have an opposite effect… cement like plug if you will.


Work

I’m number 2

1: I really expected more out of you
2: well, I came to you 3 times and asked for goals and things to achieve while I’m here, and you never even told me what you expected from me.
1: yes, but we need you to be more productive.
2: other than monitoring wells, what did you expect from me? What do you want me to produce? I’ve only been working here for 6 months, and I have no one to help me understand what’s going on. The only answer they give is “play with the numbers”, I don’t think that makes any sense.
1: But I haven’t seen any output from you.
2: Because I have no work to do and you aren’t willing to give me anything to work on. Whenever you ask for something, I do it for you in a matter of minutes. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.
1: we need more contribution from you.
2: ok. Sure. Whatever. So what shall I work on?
1: talk to anyone in the unit and see if they have any projects for you.



I’m contemplating molding a piece of ruffles feces into the shape of an oil well and handing it in as my project. Seriously, I’m starting to hate it here. I feel like I’m talking to a recorded message that says “do more… do more” and never tells you what to do. As I recall, this is a goddamn development program, not a “try and pull work out of your ass, we don’t want to train you” assignment… I’m really starting to hate this place.
Let me put this in a way a lot of people could understand. Imagine if someone told you “I really expected you to arrive at the location on time”… and the original assignment was “I want you to drive around the city for a couple of hours… just drive then stop somewhere.” And you just arrived in this city that you’ve never seen before and know nothing about. Meh… whatever.

Mabrook!!! Obama wins!!!
BHOFTW!!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyCERZBxv5Y

Excerpts from the diary of a pissed off bodybuilder

The sons of bitches never learn...

Well, I guess i'm gonna compete as a fat ass this year... because... guess what? THEY DELAYED THE DAMN CONTEST AGAIN!!!!! So, basically i'm 16 weeks out now. It's going to be on the 24th of safar, which is around the end of February. Most people would say "great! so you have plenty of time to get ready!" fuck that... I haven't had a decent offseason in the past 2 years. It always gets fucked up. I don't want any of that "stay lean in the offseason" because i'm not too keen on gaining 1 lb of muscle every other year while torturing myself by shoving burnt chicken up my ass every goddamn day!!! These douchebags have no respect for people's lives and time... So, fuck it. i will compete, but it won't be fucking pretty. i'm just gonna follow my original plan. this leaves me with 8 more weeks of dieting, then it's offseason mode til May where I WILL hit the 220 lb mark ATLEAST. Fuck the SFBB... they can kiss my ass. it's a joke anyway.



In the news!

The title should be "fat bitches should stop shoving cup cakes up their pie hole cuz they'll kill ther damn fat ass unborn baby!!!"

http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20081101/hl_hsn/excessweightgainduringpregnancyarisktomotherandchild;_ylt=AnahlXdH3BiHG5IvDvnynNjVJRIF

Please make note of the last statement in that article...

But Hillier offered this caution: "Not gaining enough [weight during pregnancy] is a risk for the baby as well. The focus should be eating healthfully: low-fat dairy, protein, lots of fruits and vegetables, also, under the guidance of a physician, getting moderate amounts of exercise," she said.

fat bitches will translate this into:
"this means you have to eat til you puke, or else you'll be thin and kill the baby. good food means eating low fat frozen yogurt chucked full sugar, ice cream banana splits with lots of cherries, that's your fruit for the day. vegetable fried noodles for your vegetables. and potatoes for your protein source. this is all in addition to the cup cakes and brownies we shove up our asses on a daily basis so we can feed the baby! it's scientifically proven!"

WHO THE FUCK GAINS 40 LBS OF FAT (OR MORE) IN 9 MONTHS????? I'LL TELL YOU WHO, A FAT BITCH WHO WILL EVENTUALLY BLAME SOCIETY FOR FORCE FEEDING HER TWINKIES!!!! fucking retarded... i swear... anyone who does this shit and eats junk while their pregnant (probably every female out there) does not give a rat's ass about her baby's health, and only wants to feed her pie hole... her excuse? "cravings" and "the baby has to eat"... fucking retards. more than 40 lbs? holy shit!!


Dumb ass Halloween bitches

Yesterday i went to pick up mariam from her friends house (she was helping them give out candy to fat ass kids)... anyway, while i drove there i probably saw a dozen 17-18 year old sluts. I usually don't use this kind of language but if you see what they were dressed up in, you'd call them something worse. Some of those girls were saudi, some were americans, some were trannies... i don't know... but i saw all those bitches on one street... one fucking street! so i would estimate there was an infinite number of whores last night. Why do i say this? Let me tell you... last year there was an incident where a bunch of guys harassed some girls dressed up as prostitutes or something walking alone in a dark alley and then the bitches cried and cried "why us???" ... still, they don't learn. Am i saying they're the only ones to blame? no... i'm saying that I wouldn't cut myself in the wrist, wait til i'm covered in blood, jump in a tank full of sharks, and when i'm pulled out with all my limbs, and my penis missing i won't say "why? why me? those sharks are ass holes!".... I wouldn't walk into a bad neighborhood where the crime rate is "3 muggings and 2 rapes per second" holding $20,000 in cash and counting them on the street. If i got shot, raped and mugged i wouldn't go "why??!! why me??!!! those animals!!!"....
If you're going to private party, inside a house where you know everyone there, yeah, dress up like a slut... no problem... if there are guys there, you will be called a slut, and some people might harass you... fair enough? but you won't get raped... and don't think that dressing up as a prostitute will get you the "good ones", you will only attract horny monkeys.
seriously, stop being cheap. You go out for halloween, you dress up as something "known"... like tinker bell, wonderwoman... fucking anything... even if you want to look slutty, it doesn't matter, just dress up as something everyone will know. a "hooker suite" is not a costume. A "prostitute uniform" means you are asking for trouble. I swear to you, most of the girls that were walking down the street were wearing miniskirts (and i don't mean the kind you'd wear to a friends house) and tube tops... IS THAT A FUCKING COSTUME??? you want to be a slut? fine! be a slut! but atleast fit the occassion! buy some firefighter lingerie, or a cop uniform... so you can have an excuse for your sluttiness and if you get harassed or raped we can say "atleast she was wearing a costume, doesn't mean she was asking for it"... Yes, i'm sick and tired like most you bitches about "it was her fault she got raped" SO GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK AND HELP ME OUT HERE!!!! THROW A DOG A FREAKIN' BONE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!
dumb asses... i swear you are retards... guys are trying to help you out and clear your names from "whore-e-ness" to the poor victims of society, but you are not accepting it!!! You are giving other "people" reason to say "see, if we let women do as they want, they will all turn into whores... look at what happened that night... they were all dressed as whores" (if you know what i mean by this)... This is why there are articles about "Liberal people only trick you into freedom of speech. once you get to know them, they won't accept anything other than sex, alcohol, and not believing in god"... it's because when you ask these whores why they do this, they say "i'm free to do whatever i want... we're 'free'".... it's a word people use these days to describe someone liberal... they say "this guy is 'free'" ... "she's the kind of people who are 'free'".... the problem is, you dumb bitches are ruining shit for all of us, just for you to get raped and have the blame thrown on you...
you are seriously idiots.... fucking retards....
you will see pictures of shit that went down there in emails in a couple of days... i'm pretty sure of it. and then those girls fathers will see the pics and go ape shit, then the girls will say "oh why me?!"



i'm out