Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Probably the worst rant, ever!

Things are getting worse in this country every single fucking day. In the past month, this shit started getting personal. All my shipments are getting seized by customs and shit. I lost a total of 2600 riyals all because of these fucking “new” regulations. Basically, if a Bedouin dumbass idiot (i.e. anyone who works for the government) doesn’t know what a certain product is (although it’s clearly written on the label, and it’s a sealed package), the shit won’t go through. To add insult to injury, fucking GNC raised their fucking prices. Prices of beef, chicken, eggs, fruits, vegetables, and other crap are getting higher. A decent car, which used to go for 30-40,000 riyals, now sells for nothing less than 60,000. In one word, it’s called IN-FUCKING-FLATION!!! Oil prices are as high as shit… our country produces a shitload… prices are going up… and the only damn thing that’s staying the same, or actually decreasing, IS MY FUCKING PAYCHECK!!!
Back to the customs shit… now, we all know that if drugs, alcohol, or any narcotic is seized in customs, the customs officers take it home and either use it, or sell it. That’s a fact, so don’t try to argue. I know people who buy all their liquor from customs officers. My mother personally knows a customs officer who furnished his whole fucking house with “seized goods”… everything from his couch, to his fucking DVD player. The customs fuckers on the docks… you name it… all the money is over there… you have huge shipments coming in… they rip off car seats, clothes, computers, car parts… you name it… and they sell it… can you complain? HAHAHAHHA…. Good luck on that!!! I came back from Bahrain 2 days ago (where all of the stupid Bedouin population of Riyadh was… but I’ll talk about that later) and after 3 hours of waiting in line to deal with passport officers that take an average of 7 minutes to punch in 5 numbers and a letter on their computers (if you call them computers), I was as pissed off as shit… when I reached customs… I went outta my car to the officer so he could stamp my damn paper… he looked at me from top to bottom, like I was fucking small or something, and said “do you have protein?”… I stopped… looked at him and said “no… I know your stupid rules where you want to rip off your own country men… I saved up to buy it from Saudi”… he said “are you sure?”… I told him to go check the car… he just stamped the damn paper and we drove off. Now, I had to hide the protein tub under my wife’s Abaya, and told her to pretend that she was asleep in the car to get a fucking tub of protein across the border. What kind of stupid shit is this? I’ll tell you how dumb these officers are. A month ago, I went and got me some liquid aminos and No-Xplode from Bahrain. I just didn’t give a shit and left it in the trunk. The customs officer opened it and saw the stuff and said “is this protein?” … I said “no! they’re amino acids.” … then he asked “you’re sure it’s not protein?” … I just said “read it… does it say protein??” .. ofcourse, the guy could barely read Arabic, let alone English… so he just said ok and stamped my fucking paper. Now, I’ve used their stupidity to my advantage on countless occasions. You don’t even want to know some of the things I’ve ordered that passed customs because they’re too stupid to know what it is. What surprises me the most is… from a country that sells very strong steroids over the counter to kids in all of it’s pharmacies… how the fuck can you come up with the “no protein allowed” rule? GNC in Bahrain, and GNC in Saudi are under the same distributor… Armal… please tell me why the fuck does a tub of optimum nutrition whey go for 135 riyals in Bahrain, and it goes for 400+ riyals in Saudi? Please don’t give me a stupid excuse like “supply and demand”… cuz the demand in Saudi is much higher than the demand in Bahrain.
Basically, I cannot order anything online anymore… and I have to smuggle protein powder as if it were cocaine. This has gone way too far. I used to not give a rat’s ass about this country. From all the things you hear. We pretend that we’re the greatest culture in the world, when in fact we’re the worst. We pretend that we have morals… when in reality, we don’t have any. We pretend that we are muslims… but we only do that when we pray… the times in between prayers, we act as if there was no god. We point the finger at America, saying that they are disgusting with their culture and their idea of freedom… when our idea of freedom is raping your own sister for calling a guy on the phone and your father says “she deserved it” (yes it happened, and it wasn’t a fabricated story because my own mother was handling that case). We beat our wives for looking at other men on TV… yet we go to Bahrain or anywhere else on the weekend and have sex with disease filled prostitutes. If you wear shorts, 7 billion people jump on you in an offensive way and tell you how it’s 7aram and you’ll go to hell for it, when the same people who tell you this and 90% of the population are raving alcoholics. People who receive their lives on a silver plate and never worked hard… hell… they never worked at all for anything and they have everything are the most people who write poetry about suffering and how tough life can be. We think we don’t have poverty, and we’re all rich bastards, when there are countless starving families that can’t afford to put food on the table.
Heh… it’s funny how we say that a man who prays and warships allah, yet treats everyone like crap and makes everyone’s life difficult, will go to heaven… yet a person who doesn’t believe in islam (you can’t blame them these days), but treats everyone with kindness and generosity, gives to charity, helps the poor and tries to make everyone’s life a bit easier will burn in the depths of hell for eternity.

What am I gonna do about it??? …. Nothing… because I don’t have a wasta.

Again... The Contest

Morning

woke up... i was very thirsty... sipped on some cranberry juice and tanned a bit... went to fuddruckers at around 11:30 and had a burger with bacon and pepper jack cheese... about 1/4 a glass of diet coke... after that, got me some icecream... some donuts... stuffed my belly... packed my stuff and hit the road
here are some picks i took in the morning... not much, but i didn't even pump up or eat for these pictures... i looked a bit better when i hit the stage

















When I got there

Jawad was there with me... we chatted a bit... it was nice of him to come... bandar showed up too and he filmed the whole thing... and mohammed was also there... thanks for coming, guys. it really means a lot to me.

i drank some NO-xplode around 30 minutes before i hit the stage... drank some gatoraid and ate some oreos... warmed up and warmed up... but nothing... no pump... no nothing... just fatigue... a couple of push-ups felt like benching 400 lbs. after that i started to swell up a bit, and i got this nausiating feeling. They called us up on stage... walked there and felt a bit dizzy and started to sweat a bit... we were 6 people on stage... started posing... then i got really fucking dizzy... stepped back for the call outs... feeling dizzy... tired... short of breath... they called me out... no.25 ... gave out the mandatory 7 poses... after the 7th pose, the judges were just looking at me... in my head i was saying "ok... now what? ... you want me to dance??? what do you want??" ... so i started giving out some "spontaneous" poses that looked really stupid cuz i wasn't ready... after a minute or two they told me to step back... everything was turning black... seeing stars... can't breathe.. sucking in air as hard as i can... it's only getting worse... i can't flex a single muscle in my body... i just relaxed a bit... drank some water... sweat poured like rain... after calling out all of them... they wanted to compare... they called me out with two others... i couldn't even hear the judges... it was like... like someone talking in a tunnel... i kept blacking out for some seconds... i knew i was gonna faint... i couldn't breathe... so i left before posing... the judges were yelling "NO.25!!! NO.25!!!" i just waved my hand and gave the international sign of "fuck off" ... walked slowly to the dressing room... sat down and drank some gatoraid... the ittifaq coach came in running and yelled "WHAT HAPPENED?? GET BACK OUT THERE!!!" i just shook my head and said no... i can't... i can't even breathe!!! the fucker kept telling me it was nothing and i should go back there... a judge came in and checked up on me... he asked me if i wanted to go on... i said no... and the coach flipped "YOU HAVE TO GO BACK!!! IT'S NOTHING!! YOU WERE WINNING!!!" i said i didn't care... and the judge told the coach that i know myself... if i didn't want to go on, i wasn't able to .... So i thought it was a disqualification... went outside with jawad and bandar to breathe a bit... i don't know what the fuck is wrong with people... if you see a man about to faint and he can't breathe, you don't gang up 50 people around him and start yelling and asking stupid shit like "are you ok?" .... i needed my space... that's why i went outside... i started feeling better... my eyes kept rolling up... 15 minutes later i was back to normal... i guess it was the dehydration and lack of sodium...cuz it happened before the first time i competed but not to this degree... it was a mistake to compete today... it was uncalled for to lose 16 lbs in 10 days.... it was stupid to dehydrate myself like that just to make my skin "thinner"... a mistake i will never do again...

What they thought

Bandar kept telling me that i had it... i was gonna take the gold... jawad said the same... now, jawad follows bodybuilding (i've been bugging the shit outta him and showing him pro videos and contests and shit for the past 4 years)... so he knows what's going on, and bandar is a dedicated bodybuilder that doesn't sugar coat anything... so i take his words seriously... when they tell me something like that... it really feels good... i don't care if i win or lose at this point... as long as i went from no where near contest condition to owning the 85 kg class in 10 days... well... i know i can do anything if i try hard enough...
the couch talked to me and he was as pissed as shit... i hate that fucker... he doesn't care if i die of dehydration or anything... he just wants to get points for the team... he wanted me back there when anyone with a sane mind could see that i can't even stand on my own two feet without help.... anyway... he told me that he talked to the judges and when they were yelling for me to come back, they were very disappointed cuz they wanted me in either first place or second... and they just wanted to compare to make sure that i'm first place.... i told him that it doesn't matter... i'm disqualified... he said "what? what do you think this is? you weren't disqualified... they just deducted a shitload of points for leaving the stage like that" ... so i said ok... whatever... after about 30 minutes, they called us out again to name the winners...

The Placing

we posed a bit... i was still shaking... but felt much better... anyway... they told us to stand still to name 6th to 1st place... i was expecting to hear my name at 6th or 5th place... they called out all of them and i got 3rd... I was pretty happy to get that placing after leaving the fucking stage like that... but i was really disappointed for not getting the prize money (600 riyals for 2nd and 800 riyals for 1st)...

just to let you know that i'm not bullshitting... the guy who took first place was the guy i beat last time... he showed up looking great this time... he was a lot leaner and drier... a bit smaller... but still... the legs... ask bandar about the legs of all the competitors... very disappointing...

after it all i went back home to my baby... maryoomti was very happy for me and she told me that i looked "relieved"... and then......... and then she said something that really... i don't know how to describe it... but... when someone really wants you to be the best... and they support you in everything you do, even if it affects their lives...it's just... unbelievible... she said "hey, you kicked their asses by getting ready in 10 days... next year, you'll kick all their asses without even trying cuz i know your gonna work hard for this" ....


... and she's right...

next year... dry, shredded, hard as nails super heavyweight buselmo is gonna be on stage for his last year of competitions...



To all my trainees

i'm sorry for being so busy the last two weeks, but i want all of you to send me your progress reports this wednesday.

Excerpts from the diary of a pissed off bodybuilder

Update

Well, it's wednesday and i'm gonna weigh in at around 6:30 pm. I dropped a shitload of weight and i look like a P.O.W. ... i'm down to 189 lbs and my waist is a bit under 33 inches... so... that's a total of 14 lbs lost and a bit more than 2 inches off the waist in 10 days. Also, i lost about 3/4 inches off both my arms and my legs look like toothpicks... I need to carb load so bad it's not even funny.
I took two days off of work (tuesday+wednesday) because obviously i can't function normally on low calories. i'm down to 1000 cals or less per day... it's pathetic... the plan is to weigh in, then go hit some pizza, icecream, donuts, burgers... you name it uptil 3 am on thursday... then i'll cut off the water and keep on "shitloading"... the funny thing is... now i know that my problem in the last 2 years wasn't that i had too much fat on me... it's that i had too much water on me... i dropped a shitload of water in the past 3 days and my skin has become extremely thin. my belly button didn't give me the "lean sign" (when it starts folding up and the skin above it and below it becomes hard, that's when i know i'm lean), but i see more definition than when i was lean... anyway... atleast i learned something out of this, which is... ummmm... hhhmmmmm..... i learned that.... hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Update

Me.. want... food... me... hungry... too... much...

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

I'm being blackmailed!!!!!

DAMN IT!!! yeah... first of all, sorry i haven't posted in such a long time... i've been busy... doing... stuff... anyway, the ittifag coach just called me and told me that there was another contest in 10 days... i was like "ok, so?" ... basically, he told me that if i don't get down to 85 kg and compete in this one, i won't be able to compete next year with ittifag... so, i guess i'm gonna have to compete... i'm fat, out of shape, and i look like ass... so, i guess i'm the one they're gonna be making fun of there... i'm now at 203 lbs... so, i have to lose 16 lbs in 10 days... oh... god... what ... have... i ... become? i sound like a fucking teenage slut that has a party to go to and no dress fits... who the fuck cares anyway... i'm just gonna ask jawad to come with me (jawad, if you read this before i call you... no, you don't have to oil me up... ok, if you want to do it that bad, it's fine with me... but you don't have to) ... i just need someone i can talk to down there while i wait for 5 hours just to have people point at me, laugh, and possibly throw manure at me. I will only take pictures of my left hand middle finger, cuz that's my leanest bodypart. Eh... whatever... the more i think about it... the more i feel competing in these silly contests isn't worth the trouble. but hey... let's face it... if it weren't for these contests, i'd probably be at 35% fat right now with a 50 inch waist claiming that i'm a powerlifter and not a bodybuilder (no offence to powerlifter).


just to get things going in the comments section... what kind of music do you listen to when you workout?