I just had a fucking accident!!!

Yeah… last Tuesday I was driving home from work… about 10 minutes away from home… I was going around 100-110 kph… about 7-10 meters between me and the guy in front of me. Suddenly the car in front of me got slammed to the wall by the car next to it and stopped… I hit the brakes and the car skidded until I hit the guy in the rear right side of his car. I got out of the car all pissed off and I wanted to beat the guy who caused this so bad, I turned fucking red. When I got out, I saw 5 other cars crashed into each other. We all gathered around and the guys who were up front told us that a white caprice came out of the exit of the freeway and swerved from far right, to the far left lane. Then back to the right lane again like he was drunk. So, people hit their brakes, swerved, vomited… I don’t know… izzibda we all crashed into each other and the guy who caused all of this got away… oh joy… we all decided that no one was at fault here, and every one should fix his own car. 4 hours later, the police showed up… well, I might be exaggerating here… it wasn’t 4 hours… it was 3 and a half… I shit you not.

Anyway, after the accident… I don’t know what happened to me… but shit… someone is gonna get hurt soon… I lost the ability to keep cool while driving. Like on Thursday… I was on the left lane at a signal, and a guy was on my right… the guy on the right wanted to turn left… how typical… although he could clearly see me (we were next to each other on a red light) he tried to turn left and almost rammed my car… I just stopped, pulled my hand brake blocking the whole turn, unbuckled my belt and stared at him until the signal turned red again, then I drove off… in my mind I kept saying “god please let him get out of the car… ohhh please let him get out”… cuz I wanted to beat him so bad, his mama wouldn’t recognize him. Pretty soon I’m gonna start pulling people over and beat the crap out of them. I’m seriously thinking of buying a baseball bat and keeping it under my seat.
I’m really starting to hate this country with all my heart. Really, everyone here is pathetic… I don’t care where you studied, I don’t care how much money you have, I don’t care who the fuck your dad is, I don’t care where you work, I don’t care what your religion is, I don’t care which tribe you come from… if you drive like that, you’re no better than a monkey… actually, a monkey would do a better job.
Just a little something to tell you who’s at fault here (we all know that the retards we call normal people around here are at fault, but still… we’re all born retarded, we need someone to beat the shit outta us to learn order) why is it… that when you go to the Aramco camp… people start driving like they were… well… PEOPLE!!! I’ll tell you why… because Aramco has strict rules regarding traffic and security… and they actually enforce it… and they enforce it good. Now… when this person… who has been driving like an angel inside the camp… drives like a chipmunk on crack when he leaves the gates… you know what the problem is… actually… he knows what the problem is and that’s why he drives that way… there is no enforcement of the law!!! When you have High school drop outs… people who didn’t make it through secondary school… people who can barely read… people who can barely talk from retardation… those people are actually law enforcement officers… WTF???!!!
Call me what you will… but I really don’t care if you pray 5 times a day, read the quran 5 billion times a week, pray all the sunna prayers… if you drive like that, you’re going to fucking hell!! I really can’t imagine how that’s not possible. Our country has the highest rate of fatalities due to accidents in the world!!! I don’t call them that… I call it murder. Yes, if you’re driving like a horny raccoon, and you crash into a family of 5, killing all of them… you are a murderer. It was intentional. You know it’s against the law to drive like that, you know people could get killed because you’re doing this, yet you do it. Taking a gun and firing it at random and then killing someone isn’t called “accidental fatality”… it’s called murder. Same thing.

Again with this stupid society

My wife and I went to rashid mall on Thursday afternoon for our usual visit to fudds. Guess what we found in the elevator? Yup… some one spit (and I mean really spit) on the floor buttons. Shows you how sophisticated our society really is.


Back to our main subject… bodybuilding!

Have you ever met a fat person at the gym that’s been going there for a couple of years… never changed in shape… when you ask him why he works out, he just says “I’m trying to stay healthy”? … yeah… please tell him/her that they have to be healthy first to stay healthy!!! … anyway… my wife started going to the gym a couple of weeks ago… and .. HOLY CRAP does she have great genetics!!! I mean… who the hell loses an inch off their waist and have defined obliques in one week? Well.. it’s very easy with girls… I mean… you don’t have to deal with the whole 7 billion lbs of beef, and 20 sacks of potatoes guys deal with when they diet… my wife weighs less than half what I weigh… yes… and she doesn’t have the muscle mass I have (not bragging… but you get the picture)… so, she really doesn’t have to eat much (relatively) to go through a body composition change. It’s just so easy for them… I mean… how hard is a 1200 calorie diet with 4 meals in it? (that’s around 10 cals per lb… my wife had a kick ass body to start with so she doesn’t need to start high). Anyway, weight training coupled with cardio AND BAM!!! The best part is… SHE LOVES IT!! But there’s a problem… :( … I can’t be with her at the gym… I really don’t know if she’s doing the exercises correctly, cuz I don’t trust the trainers there. One of the trainers told her that she had to train biceps with triceps or else it would be pointless to train them. Yes, stupidity at it’s best. Anyway, for women.. generally it’s not difficult. You just have to get started. Here are some general guidelines for you start off with…
- diet is what’ll make it or break it (not taking anything away from exercising… but exercise is just an “initiator”, so to speak). Start off at around 13-15 cals per lb if you aren’t that heavy (which probably most of you aren’t saying “I’m not that heavy..” when you actually weigh 300 lbs… yes I’m offensive… but truthful)… if you’re 4’5 weighing 180 lbs… you’re heavy! Anyway… if you are… start off with 10 cals per lb.
- if you don’t know how to calculate calories… there’s always bodybuilding.com … under the nutrition section, there’s nutrition calculator… if you click that you’ll find a link with “#1 food database”, I think… click it and find the food you want, it’ll tell you how many calories it has and the ratios
- don’t over do the exercise thing… 3 days a week is enough. Train each body part once a week, and combine body parts that work together (i.e. back and biceps).
- Don’t go for that high rep low weight bullshit. GO HEAVY!! I always hear about “I lifted weights and I got too big”, no you didn’t get too big, you got too fat. This applies to men and women… if people look at you and say “wow, you’re big”, and you have a six pack and you’re 4’1 … then you might be getting too big… but if you’re 6’5, with a huge pot belly and people say “wow, you’re big”… it means you’re fat! No one can get too big too fast… ESPECIALLY WOMEN!! Those female bodybuilders you see, they use more steroids than the dogs on the tracks!
- Do cardio… whenever… don’t swim… that’s bullshit. Unless you’re an Olympic swimmer and you can do 50 laps per minute, then it’s ok. I would say JOG!! Unless you weigh a ton, then elliptic trainer is best. Or power walk on an incline of something like 8-10… that’ll work your hams.
- Don’t be afraid to use supplements. Protein powders, creatine, fat burners… whatever… they’re all fine (except for DHEA). I personally hate women who say “oh, supplements are bad for you… I saw it on the E channel” and they have 17 metric tons of paint on their face that they call make up.
- DRINK WATER!!! I don’t know what it is with women, but they don’t like water! They’re like the aliens from “signs”!! drink it by the gallon, ladies.
- Women are usually extreme… unlike men, who are hopless… j/k :) … no, really, don’t take it seriously… enjoy the food you like once or twice a week. And don’t throw up after you eat it.
- Fat is fine. You just have to know which kind to eat. I’ve talked about it a million times. Fat is not the enemy, carbs aren’t the enemy… junk food, laziness, snacking, and not knowing what the fuck is in your food is the enemy.
- You have been put on this earth to make babies, and cook us some pie. So learn how to fucking cook.
- Most importantly, anything too good to be true is too good to be true. My sisters always tell me about the hottest new way to lose or gain weight or have bigger thighs, or a pill that’ll make you lose 2 metric tons of fat in 7 nanoseconds. They’re all lies. And to tell you the truth (no offense), but you’re easy targets. The only way to do this is through hard work, perseverance, and balance! No atkins or chemical diet crap… balance… balance your proteins, carbs, and fats. There is no secrets. If you heard about a movie star doing this, or an artist doing that to get in shape… no… it’s called plastic surgery, drugs, and lots of money on personal trainers who spike their protein shakes with god knows what. I’m serious here. Anna Nichole smith used DNP and they found some GH with her when she died… so, don’t believe the hype.

I’m outta here.

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

WOW!!!

Two days ago I saw something on the street that I never thought I’d see in my entire life!! It seems like with every passing day the people in this country become less civilized. But what I saw… man… it gave me mixed feelings of disgust, hate, fear, and disbelief. I was driving on the over pass with the signal just before Dhahran mall. A small car (chevy aveo) came in from the intersection on the right (the small one after the gas station) without stopping and he was speeding a bit. He cut in front of another car (Nissan maxima) and almost rammed the guy. So, as the typical Saudi would do, the guy in the Nissan drove fast in front of the Aveo and slammed his brakes until both cars stopped (mind you, they were about 1/10 of inch from hitting each other). Those guys were in front of me, and when they stopped I just passed them… 2 seconds later I see headlights moving around in my rear view mirror. I look back… HOLY FUCK!!! THE TWO CARS WERE RAMMING INTO EACH OTHER!!! I swear I could not keep my eyes on the road!!! Animals wouldn’t pull off that kind of uncivilized act!! After ramming into each other about 4 or 5 times, the Aveo hit Nissan in the back corner of his car and the Nissan swerved and hit the side of the road… THEN THE AVEO TURNED AROUND AND WENT AGAINST TRAFFIC!!! After that I had to turn and I didn’t even want to know what happened.
After seeing this with my own two eyes… I really don’t know what to feel.


Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse

Of the 3 (free) gyms that I have the option to go to, there is only one gym with “hardcore” equipment. You know, rusty dumbbells (they only go up to 125 lbs, but it usually does the job), a power rack, rusty old smyth machine, leg press machine (it only has a short stack line, but you can stack about 10 plates each side), hack squat machine, rusty ass cables, lots of benches and bar benches… incline, decline, flat… etc. Yesterday, they closed down the gym because they were bringing in “new” equipment. Crap!! I had to go to the 3rd street gym… oh-god… first off, there aren’t any free bars (except for flat bench)… the dumbbells are made of rubber, filled with sand, and the heaviest shit they have is 100 lbs (and the thing is huge!! And very uncomfortable to handle)… the smyth machine… there are only 8 plates in the hole gym… so, I can’t go past 4 plates on each side. Deadlifts? Forget about it. Leg press? The machine has a weight stack and a pin… the max you could do is 200 lbs… that’s not even warm-up weight. Ofcourse there are 17 billion cardio machines all over the place taking up most of the space… and you have a small ass corridor cramped with worthless machines for people over 60, a pathetic dumbbell rack (with the pink 250 gram dumbbells), those huge rubber testicles all over the place, smyth machine, and cable machine… FUCK!!! I saw faisal, fadhil and mahmood there… we were talking and they told me that the old gym is gonna look exactly like this one… I turned red and almost puked (very hard to notice that I turned red :) )… then one of them looked at me and said “we’re gonna miss you, man” … I don’t think I can afford (financially, and I don’t have the time) to go to a “commercial” gym… my wife usually goes to the gym the same time I do… so, going to another gym would be out of the question (I don’t think my wife wants to workout for 150 minutes per day). So, I’m just gonna wait and see how the gym will look like on Saturday… if we’re not satisfied (yes, many people like to train hardcore… surprisingly), we have a petition ready and we’re gonna unleash hell!!!! …. Well… knowing myself… I’ll probably show them the petition and when they say “we’re not gonna change it” I’ll be like “oh… ok… bye bye”

Online training

As you know, I’ve taken on 5 (actually, they’re 7… now 6 since I kicked one out) people to train for free. Up till this point, all of them are just doing fantastic and they make me proud (except for that one I kicked out… he was such a … oh… god)… many other people have sent me to join the program, and when I told them I was booked, I kinda got the vibe that they were upset (some of them I know were very strict and just needed guidance). I just want to tell those who didn’t make it on time that this was a first come first serve offer. Why am I doing this? Well, I got many emails asking about my prices before I offered the free training bit. MOST of the people who emailed me (even people whom I trained before and were happy with the results) thought that my price was too high. So, I took on the trainee’s to show people what would happen if I trained you for 12 weeks. Just to clear things up… this is the cheapest training rate you’ll find in this country. As for results, those whom I train know what they can expect… and I haven’t met an unsatisfied customer yet. How many people do you know went to a nutritionist, paid 2000 riyals for a 3 month consultation, lost 15 lbs the first 2 weeks, then stalled and looked like shit for the rest of the period? (the initial weight loss is a result of going from 4000 cals to 700 cals in a day). Plus, they shot up 20 more lbs a week after they stopped and went back to normal. How many people do you know pay 1500 per month for a scam home delivery nutritionist bullshit company that gives you shitty food (150-300 cals per meal), that would probably cost you 200 riyals per month if you buy it yourself from the grocery store? If you want to know how much I charge… it’s 400 riyals per month… this includes weekly monitoring, online consultation, Q&A, detailed diet, weight training, cardio, supplement, and “other” programs. Nothing is constant, and no two people get the same program because this is an individual matter. This is what you get. For people whom I train for free, I don’t give my phone number… people whom I charge can call me whenever they want (except after 10 pm), just incase they have a question and I’m not online.
For general questions, I don’t charge shit… if you have any question and you don’t want a program or anything like that, ask it and I’ll be more than glad to answer. I usually get tons of questions about supplements and other crap and I don’t mind answering those. So, please, don’t hesitate to send an email or IM me.

Things that make you go “hmmmmmmmm?”

I see many people reading shit in magazines or taking a lot of advice from unqualified people and when you ask them why do you do that, they say “because… ummm… he told me to do it!”… I recently started training my older brother… it really put the biggest smile on my face when he told me that he wanted to go to the gym and start training… anyway, yesterday we were training legs and we were done in about 30 minutes… and after my bro did calves I just said “ok, go home and drink your shake, you’re done”… he had this look on his face like “are you kidding?” then he said “that’s it? I can do more… are you sure that’s it” … from the look on his face, I could tell he was in disbelief… although he wanted to do more, I told him that anything more than that would be counter productive… I explained it to him before, and briefly at that moment… but still, people don’t get it, because they think if you train for 3 hours everyday, you’re gonna get a kick ass body. If I ever hit the 40 minutes mark (usually it’s 35 mins) I start rushing and cutting rest time so I’m out of there before it hits the 45 minute mark. That’s how I build mass… cutting is a bit different… same idea but, you want to do in a way where you don’t lose intensity but you burn off more calories… anyway, I’m going way off topic here… I’m gonna ask some questions now (for shits and giggles) that are supposed to make you think a bit and hopefully get a clearer picture

- If you can make your muscles fail with one set of maximum intensity and load… just one set to fail the muscle… why would you want to do 11-15 more sets after that? Is it gonna fail some more?
- If you want your biceps to grow, would you train them everyday? (hopefully, you’ll say no)… then why do you want to train your abs everyday?
- If you could spot reduce fat from a certain area of your body by doing high reps, low weights on that body part, please tell me why the hell do human beings who can walk still have fat on their thighs? Better yet, fat people who chew all day, why do they still have fat on their face?
- Would you try to fill your car up with gas before, or after it runs out of fuel? Ok, then why do you drink water only when you’re thirsty (your tank runs out of fuel)?
- What is the only macronutrient (protein, fats, or carbs) can human beings live without? If you know the answer for this question…. Why do we eat so much of it?
- What good does fat do in a diet? Does it make a difference what kind of fat it is?
- Why is it hard to believe that “this person was born with good genetics, hence he has a better body than you do, responds better to training, diet and supplementation than you do, and you can never get the results he can get even if you did twice as much work as he did”, but we can easily believe that “this guy was born smart”, or “this guy was born talented”?
- Why is it that you can have two people, who do exactly the same thing diet, training, and rest wise, but they don’t grow at the same pace, or the muscle don’t look alike (i.e. same bicep peak)?
- If you eat 3000 calories per day, with a 40/40/20 pro/carb/fat ratio… what difference would it make if you ate all the meals at those ratios, or you time your nutrients so that in the end of the day you get that ratio?
- Eat 500 calories of a mixture of fat and carbs (i.e. fries)… later on, eat 500 calories of protein exclusively from beef… why do you sweat more when you eat the beef (i.e. meat sweat)?
- Would you ever take a mechanic’s advice on computers? Then why do you take a doctor’s advice on nutrition and training?

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

The loop

It seems like every couple of months, I hear the same lame things from different people. Since I’m in a happy mood when I’m at the gym these days (I’m bulking… and I get to eat my kitkat everyday), I don’t mind resting longer between sets and chat with people whenever they wanna talk about something. So, this guy at the gym starts talking about how he used to be thin, had a six pack, and all the girls were begging him to go out with them… you know, usual bullshit. And then he starts talking about how he and all his Saudi friends used to get all the attention from the girls in the clubs when he was in the states. I just played stupid and said “I’m sure it’s because all of the muscles and definition you guys had.” … he said “no, man. There are always these huge dudes with muscles in clubs but the girls don’t want them… they want Saudis… you know why? Because when they dance with Saudis they can feel how hard their “member” gets when they rub against them.” … Another stereotype about how every woman in the world only wants a penis because they’re all dirty bitches. I really don’t know how some people are obnoxious enough to say something like that to someone they don’t know. I find it extremely offensive that this guy thinks that I’m stupid enough to like his conversations. Later on that workout, I was using some heavy weights on the leg press machine… so this guy comes up to me and says “man… I don’t know how some people think… it’s not how much weight you use that makes a muscle grow… it’s all in the technique (meaning form)” … I just said “yeah… you’re right… why don’t you go grab some 20 lb dumbbells and do some curls with perfect “technique” and tell me when your arms hit the 20 inch mark.” … I don’t know what goes through their heads when they say something like that… The only time I ever step up to someone to talk is when I see a friend and I just say hi, or if someone is gonna hurt himself real bad by doing stupid exercises (like this one guy who kneels on the floor, straps a weight belt to his forehead, connects it to the cable machine and pulls with his fucking neck) I just say “hey man… watch out… that shit could get you injured.” … sometimes I don’t say shit because I know they aren’t gonna listen.
I know I’ve talked about this before, but I swear it happened again yesterday… I was walking out of work to my car and one of the other unit’s supervisors was behind me and yelled “what the hell is this?” (the plant alarms went off real loud and the whole sky was filled with dust from the fucked up weather we have)… so I said “I don’t know… I usually hear an alarm at 3:30 but never this loud…” so he says “take it easy on the muscle, son” … I told him I’ll take it easy when I’m a bit older… so… you guessed it… he said “when I was your age, I was twice your size, full of muscle, no fat, 32 inch waist. I used to wear the largest shirts I could find but still… when I do this (and then he tried to hit a most muscular pose… which looked like he was giving his imaginary friend a bear hug) the shirt would rip in half.” … I could not hold myself back… I laughed so hard I almost fell to my knees. Now this guy is around 6’-6’2, nothing less than a 50 inch waist, very skinny arms and legs, he kinda looks like a much taller version of that actor in batman begins… the crooked cop with the long hair… when he gave that most muscular pose and said his shirt ripped… man… I haven’t laughed like that since I saw madea goes to jail!!! Anyway, I just played stupid again and said “wow… you know, you look like a big guy who used to workout… what happened?” he said… the typical answer “I got older and quit training and all the muscle turned into fat.”

Same story… just different people in different places…

I’M GOING ALL OUT, BABY!!!!

Well… I’m not training under phil’s guidance anymore… I think it’s time to experiment some more… phil taught me more than I could learn on my own in a lifetime. We was such a great help, but I still need to learn and try new things. His theories on ratios and training are the fundamental blocks of what I’m planning for this year. Since I’m doing all of this on my own now, I’ll post my diet. Phil doesn’t support the number of calories I’m taking in, but from my own experience, that’s how I gain more muscle (and more fat). I have 8 weeks to hit anywhere between 220-230 lbs, and I’m getting pretty close (207 lbs this morning). So, without further ado, here’s what I’m eating at the moment.

5:15 am
400 ml super milk
4 scoops mass factor weight gainer
1 scoop whey protein
1 chunky caramel kitkat bar… (shut up!)

9:00 am
300 grams of 90% lean beef (it’s a bit leaner cuz it’s cooked on the foreman) made into two burgers with 2 slices of fat free cheese on jumbo buns (sometimes white, sometimes whole wheat… depends on availability)
1 apple

12:00 pm
Same as above

4:45 pm (pre workout)
1 scoop whey protein in water… sometimes I skip this meal all together for no reason…

6:00 pm
500 ml calcium enriched white grape juice
400 ml super milk
3 scoops whey protein

8:00 pm (or 9 or 10 or whenever)
300 grams of chicken breast cooked in 1.5 tbsp olive oil
Big ass bowl of salad

If I ever have time to go out with the mrs or with my friends to eat, I wouldn’t think twice about it :) … last year I didn’t have much fun with my wife and my friends when it came to dinning outside the house… this year… I’m gonna have fun whenever I can…

The total calories are around 4500… 400+ grams of protein… around 440 carbs… and about 92 fat. I will add 500 cals to this diet every 2-3 weeks…