You want the truth? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!
As I was laying half dead on the couch, with a 10 billion degree fever, feeling like there were pins getting slowly pushed into my joints… I couldn’t help but take an interest into what I was hearing on the TV.
It was the Tyra show and the episode was about weight loss. I had my face away from the tv and was just listening to what was being said. “ever since Alana lost all that weight, she’s been acting like she’s better than everyone else. She even asks us to call her ‘the lovely’ Alana. How ridiculous is that? I mean, when she was fat, she used to be fun and would not fight for attention, but now that she’s competing with all the skinny girls in the club, she becoming loud and just wants to be in the spot light.”
At first, I thought I was hallucinating from the fever. Ruffles looked at me, then assured me that I was ok and it was really happening on TV. So I turn… I see a skinny black chick on the left, a fat tub of lard right next to her, and a huge tub of lard on the far right. So I’m saying “great, fat bitch turned anorexic and now she thinks she actually looks good. She’s as ugly as fucking hell!”… to my surprise, “the lovely Alana” wasn’t the anorexic stick figure on the left. She was the fattest tub of lard on the right. She went from 320 lbs to 200 lbs after a gastric bypass surgery. WTF? She was a fucking whale, and now she’s a walrus. That’s not something to be proud of. The problem is, this happens with almost everyone who was super fat and fugly, lost a ton of weight and now is just really fat and fugly but they think they have turned into “Sexy McSexappeal”. The theory of relativity holds true in some cases, but this is taking it too fucking far.
And guess what? They had a weight loss expert on the show. Yeah… her name was Jackie Guerra… WHAT THE FUCK!!! Same shit… fat bitch who almost died because she couldn’t keep her blowjob hole shut and went up to 360 lbs or so… then did a gastric bypass surgery and COULDN’T eat like she used to (I said couldn’t… not wouldn’t… cuz if she had her stomach back, she’d hit 400 lbs) and went down to 170 or 180 lbs… I don’t remember but she’s still fat with seventeen chins. She now looks like that caterpillar from Alice in wonderland. This is the “weight loss expert”? Let me get this straight… if I had a quadruple bypass surgery on my heart, would that make me a cardiovascular health expert? If my dad died, and I inherited 500 million dollars, would that make me a world economy and finance expert?
The problem is, people are too stupid to realize that. “ohhhhhhhhhh she lost 100 lbs?!!! she must look GORGEOUS!!!”… are you fucking retarded?
And really, the clear cut sign of people’s stupidity is when they say “I only want to lose 20 lbs” or shit like that.
On another segment of the show, they showed someone (who also had gastric bypass) and she lost a lot of weight and ended up with a lot of “loose skin” (I don’t care what any doctor says, loose skin is a myth. Having an inch or two of loose skin is one thing, but saying that you have 15 feet of loose skin removed? You are fucking retarded and delusional). The girl looked anorexic… and she had a ton of fat… ehm… loose skin on her. She started crying when she said “I’m ashamed to show my body. My ex-boyfriend left me because of my body and he sent me pictures of his ex-girlfriends and said ‘this is how a real woman looks like’… waaaaaaaaa… waaaaaa” and Tyra said “he said that because HE’S SICK!!1 HE’S A SICK SICK MAN!!!” and all the crowd started cheering and clapping … wooohooo… .yaaaaayyy!!! tyra saved the day by saying that the man was sick!!1 yaaaayayyy!!!!.....
Ummm… no!... fact of the matter is. That man wasn’t sick. That woman was fugly. She lost all the muscle and extra organ weight she had on her body and lost close to no fat because of her retarded choice of not listening to common sense, and instead listening to doctors who want to make a quick buck. The man was truthful. That’s all. He was rude, but truthful. NO MAN WANTS TO BE WITH A WOMAN THAT LOOKS LIKE JABA THE HUT!!!
Anyway, yesterday when I went out to smoke, I was sitting next to someone I know and he immediately started a conversation of “you know, last week I got sick, and I lost 9 lbs! in one week! That’s so awesome, right?... right?” so I asked “why is that so good?”… he just kept going on and said “well, losing 9 lbs of fat in one week without doing anything, that’s great! I don’t know how I did it… blah blah blah” like he’s waiting for my approval or for me to praise him. So, I just turned into the usual asshole I turn into when someone ticks me off and said “have you ever seen a bottle of olive oil?” he said “yeah?” I said “that bottle has 750 ml in it… that’s a little less than 750 grams, but for fucks sake let’s say it’s 750 grams. So, you are telling me that you think you lost an equivalent of 6 bottles of olive oil as fat from your body? Let me tell you something, if you haven’t been bragging about how you lost 9 lbs, I’d say you actually gained weight from the way you look. You were sick, you got dehydrated and you lost water. Next week you are going to ask me to explain how you gained 9 lbs in a week.” … you know what he said? He said: “oh….” And he shut the fuck up.
The truth of the matter
When we talk about good looks, a nice body… etc. there is nothing called “relative to”. You either look good or you don’t. if someone says “holy shit! You look a lot better than you did before! Wow! Good job!” what they really mean to say is “you are still fucking ugly. You look like shit. Yes, less of a shit than you were, but you still look like shit. Keep it up, you’re making me look good!”…
The face… you can always do things to your face to look better. I said better…. Please review what I said two sentences ago. If you’re ugly, you’ll still be ugly even if you fix yourself up. You can’t look in the mirror after getting a nice haircut, a nice goatee, trimmed whatever, get rid of zits and acne and say “wow, I look a lot better!” then go to a club and expect every woman who didn’t know how you looked like in the first place walk up to you and say “YOU SEXY!!! PLEASE PUT IT UP MY BUTT!”… no! most likely, instead of vomiting when they saw the old you, they’d probably just say “ekh” when they see the new you. Same shit goes for “weight loss” or weight gain. It’s always you’re either “ugly(er)” or “less ugly”… because you can’t look good by changing a number on a scale. You have to know how to change what’s in the mirror.
Any man who gains atleast 30 lbs of new muscle on his body and goes down to 5% will be a pussy magnet even if he has the ugliest face ever seen.
Any woman who gain 10-15 lbs of new muscle and goes down to 12% fat will have men under her feet doing whatever she wants them to do. Even if she looks like a damn koala.
Why YOU will never achieve a good body
Again, I say a good body… as in when a stranger looks at you and says “that’s a kick ass body!” … not when your best friend who would never ever say anything to hurt you says “wow, you look… ummm… great! Yeah… so, you lost how much? Wow, 3 lbs… so, now you’re down to what? 362 lbs? wow… you look amazing… way to go!”
The secret to achieving it is… you have to love to do it. that’s it. it’s not the food, it’s not the training. It’s not the steroids. You have to love it. you have to have a passion for it.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know people who have been working out for 10+ years because they love working out, and they still look like shit. After you establish the love, you have to understand your body. You have to figure out what to eat, when to eat it, how much of it to eat. Again, don’t get me wrong. After you build a solid base of muscle (which most of my clients haven’t even done, cuz it takes about 3-4 years of solid training) you can eat junk all the time and get the results you want IF YOU UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR BODY FUNCTIONS!!! I am 1 year away from proving that the bodybuilding lifestyle crap is bullshit after you build a solid foundation of muscle and you understand how your body responds to shit. I can give you an example right now, but my experiment isn’t complete. You can get to sub 5% fat without losing much muscle, eating big macs every now and then… what’s the catch? The shit takes more time. Anyway, that’s another issue I will talk about in a couple of months in detail.
I will say it again for the frillionth time! If you don’t give a shit about how ugly your body is, you don’t complain, you don’t want to do anything about it, and you are fine with it all… GOOD FOR YOU!!! Really, I envy your fat ugly ass.
If you are a fat ass fuck who looks like a metric ton of pizza dough, basically a huge cellulite with a little bit of facial features, and you complain about how ugly you are and how you “need to lose 20 lbs to achieve your perfect weight” and all that crap… and the only shit you are willing to try is drinking fucking chow mung fung lung sing balooga tea that was advertised on yahoo to get to your “ideal weight”, and when you fail miserably and look even worse than you did before and start crying and complaining even more about how god hates and made you look like a solidified piece of vomit and then try some more ridiculous apple cider rabbit semen to lose fat from the lower left quadrant of your buttcheek and fail miserably again…. Then when I tell you it’ll take you atleast 2 years to just undo the damage bestowed upon your body by your retardation, and another 2 years to make you look remotely good you say “but my friend got these pills from Lebanon and in 2 days she lost 7 gagillion lbs of fat and got a bikini modeling contract. So, you’re wrong. And my imaginary friend did the right thing”… and you waste 4 more years on worthless crap and crying endlessly at night because no one wants to look a that abomination called a “body”, what do you do? You watch fucking Oprah, Dr. Phil, and the Tyra show and truly believe that your “inner beauty will reflect on your body” and you start wearing obscene clothing that makes you look like a year’s supply of cottage cheese in a small plastic bag and say to yourself “I’M SEXY!!!” you will be laughed at and ridiculed. Sooner or later, you will wake up. You will be depressed. and you won’t know what to do. These are the people I have a problem with. Because they won’t leave me the fuck alone. They will bombard me with their stupid myths and all the “but the doctor said” crap and when I tell them they are stupid for believing that, they think I’m rude! They give me a fucking headache. You know when you just want to sit alone, smoke a cigarette and drink you goddamn fucking coffee in peace? These are the fuckers (be it male or female) that will ruin the shit for you. I remember this whale of a woman was actually telling me how she is doing a good job and what not in exercising and crap. I was smoking my cigarette, drinking my coffee, and said “good for you”… then she started asking for advice… and asked me if there is anything more she can do to lose weight other than “getting out of the sauna and dip in an ice cold pool”. I said “yeah, balance your carbs proteins and fats…” I just didn’t want to talk… she asked “fat? Like what?” I said “peanut butter”… she immediately jumped up and said “yeah! My doctor said peanut butter is the healthiest thing for babies!!!” … I was about to spill my coffee on her head, and put my cigarette out in her eye and said “first of all, your doctor is a retard. Second, are you a goddamn baby???” … needless to say, the conversation ended quickly after that.
I am sick and tired of this shit, really. I do not consider myself a big dude at all, nor am I extremely lean… compared to pro bodybuilders, that is. To the general public, I’m pretty big and “ripped”. Ever since I hit 175 lbs contest weight, I had people telling me “don’t get bigger! You look perfect now! Really, don’t ruin your body.” Because it is somehow a well known fact that bigger muscles are very ugly (other than the FACT that they make your penis 4 inches smaller). Those same people kept watching me gain muscle and kept telling me the same thing.. “man! You look your best now! Seriously, don’t get bigger.”… now, you know what they say? “did you lose weight? I liked the way you looked before”… when I was around 215 lbs at 12-15% body fat. That’s what normal people liked best… If people didn’t like “big muscles” and low body fat (they like big muscles a lot more… most people can’t even tell the difference between 8% fat and 4%) they would not come and ask me for advice. They’d go and ask the 90 lb, 6’ tall marathon runner for some advice. Women wouldn’t come to me and ask me for advice if they didn’t like big muscles. Point being, AS FUCKING USUAL, more muscle, less fat, more body weight = Awesome body!!!
Let me address your typical crap right here…
for women and men, together... look... i'm sick and tired of the whole "i want to be thin" crap and i don't care what you think, but thin is ugly. is it my opinion? no... it's fucking fact. just as fat is ugly... thin is ugly... you want lean...
when you are skinny, you will have fat rolls on your stomach, and when you sit, it will fold up and look like a fucking triple deck cheeseburger... this is "skinny"
there is no dent above the navel, and all you see is a stick figure that looks like a 13 year old anorexic boy... yet still, you can see that the body is carrying a lot of fat...
now, notice the dent on top of the navel here... this is lean with muscle. when you sit on a chair, your fat rolls don't stack up because they don't exist in the first place!!! and you look "healthy" and not boney
and for the women... "ewwww... muscles are ugly on a woman!!!" here is AN EXTREME CASE of superhuman levels of muscle on a woman when she's at 12% (mind you, i have yet to see any woman in front of me with that low of a fat percentage... to this woman, it is a high offseason fat level..) she is considered huge... now look at how good her body looks... remember, this is an extreme case of "super muscle woman" without the use of (in my opinion) harsh androgenic steroids (maybe some mild anabolics)
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look at her legs... those are considered huge (i bring this point up becasue i'll talk more about it in a minute)
now, lets see what she looks like at 6-7% fat (no female can achieve this without the use of androgenic steroids with a shit ton of aromatase inhibitors... basically kills the estrogen in the body)... If you're looking for "sexy", don't look at the extreme detail of muscle, look at the curves and shape of the body... gaining fat, getting off the juice, and getting in some sodium will make her have almost the same shape, but look smoother and without all the muscle definition
Now, about the legs (quads)... women are fucking retarded when it comes to this shit... when you say "My legs are so huge. they have a lot of muscle on them. i want to find a way to get rid of all this muscle." i cannot take you seriously... really... you have fat legs... the amount of fat on your legs (if they are big) is probably unimaginable... probably 4-5 inches thick... if you lipo'd your quads, you'd probably end up with skinny toothpicks. really, i'm being serious here. this woman has huge, ripped muscular quads... look a tthe first picture... and they have some fat on them. that's how they look like... Please don't think you have "huge muscular legs" unless your quads look like this... you dumb asses... this is called BEEF!!!
look, you dumbasses... i've noticed that the first thing a person does when you ask them "what do you think about his/her physique?" the first thing they do is look at the face... if they have an ugly face they say "ekh... they look horrible... who'd want to look like that?"...
this man was a pussy magnet... and he was an ugly ass mother fucker
yeah... they don't look big with clothes on, right?
the guy on the far right is franco columbo... midgets never look big in real life... but in pictures...
now, most people can't even tell the difference between the above picture, and this one
do you even know how much work it takes him to go from the picture with the hands over head pose to the picture above it?
this midget looks huge... but when you see him in real life... he's not so big...
now, back to retarded women... most woman think that if you drink "uffly da tinee toggy piss" tea, and vomit your dinner every night while doing yoga, you will look like this...
fact of the matter is, this bitch trains and diets harder than i do, and is on more steroids than that cow you ate last night was on!!!! but in the add, she says "i try to eat lots of veggies and drink my green tea. once i took the fat burner, i really started seeing miraculous results! i do yoga for 45 minutes everyday... blah blah blah"
and dumb shits believe her... i don't blame you for being retarded, really.
most idiots who say "NO NO I DON'T WANT TO GET BIG!!!" think they'll wake up one day and look like this
yeah... just curl those 25 lb dumbbells for 20 reps, and bench 135 lbs everyday and you'll look like that... but don't take creatine!!! cuz then you'll get bigger than him, and women don't like that. please, take a second to look at his calvicle width... the bone that connects his shoulders... look at how wide that shit is... even if he never worked out, and he was "skinny/fat" he'd be as wide and as big as a house. but people don't know that shit... they think it's easy...
look... every guy's dream is to look like this
people think this is easy... and just going to the gym for 3 months, "not eating a lot", and "a couple of protein shakes and aminos" will turn them into this guy... let me tell you something... you can only dream of having a body like that with the kind of work and mentality you are putting into it. you will never have this kind of body unless you are smart, have good genes, and know your chemicals... now you will say "no, i don't want to look like that"... yeah, sure, and i don't want to have 500 million dollars in my account...
and if women say "ekh, that's gross"... i'd like to see them say that when they're at the beach and this guy walks next to them... let's be serious... we want to put imaginary standards of fat or skinny being good and muscular and lean being bad, but we can't defy nature.
in the end... you are fat, and you always will be unless you really start using that blob of jello that's filling the cavity in your skull called a brain.
And surgery... surgery ALWAYS looks bad WHEN YOU GET NAKED!!!... with clothes on, it'll hide all the shit... naked, you'd look like an abomination... unless it's a really good boob job... that would get my two thumbs up :)
have fun, bitches
posted by Hamad Mohawis @ 2:15 PM
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