Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Update

Well, after my post diet binge I’ve turned into the human balloon. At least I look healthy. In the past six days I’ve gained 14 lbs. my weight is starting to stabilize (thank god! F***ing blood pressure was killing me), and I’m losing water while I’m at it. Strength is through the freakin’ roof, and my arms went from 16.25 inches when I was extremely depleted on Thursday morning to a full 17.2 inches this morning. Of course, my waist went from 31.8 up to 33.3… mostly it’s the food packed in my gut, cuz I can still see all my abs. Thursday night will mark the end of my binge, and I will return to a 3200 calorie diet with 380 grams of protein, 300 grams of carbs and the fat that comes with it. I’ll be doing cardio 3 times a week, first thing in the morning too. Right now, I’m standing at 194 lbs at around 7%.


Finally met Faisal

The guy’s a f***ing wall… as my friend Tariq said “the guy has so many rounded objects on his body, you can’t even tell where his head is!”. Right now, Faisal is around 235 lbs at 12-14% fat… oh, and he’s around 5’5-5’6… that’s f***ing huge…

I TOLD YOU BITCHES!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!

As I said before, I don’t believe in stupid research like this, but I’ve always had a problem with swimming as a form of cardio for fat loss. Half of the people I advise to do cardio come up to me and say “how about swimming? Oh I love swimming!! I can do laps for hours!!” I usually try to steer them away from that, but it used to be a personal preference. Then, when they can swim “laps for hours” AND THEY CAN’T EVEN WALK FAST ON THE TREADMILL WITHOUT PASSING OUT you know something’s wrong. Besides, there’s something weird about swimming. Whenever I swim (I haven’t swam in a long ass time), I feel so f***ing hungry afterwards. But after the treadmill or stairmaster or bike or whatever… I can’t stand to put food in my mouth… weird… but here’s some shit that says the same thing I’ve been saying for years. People will probably believe this because it’s “research”… but when I say it, somehow it doesn’t make sense.


Gwinup, G. Weight loss without dietary restriction: efficacy of different forms of aerobic exercise. Am J Sports Med. 15:275-279, 1987.Since obese patients with orthopaedic disabilities are often advised to undertake swimming as a part of a weight loss program, the effect of swimming on body weight was systematically studied. Minimally to moderately obese, otherwise healthy young women seeking to lose weight through a program of exercise without dietary restrictions were randomly assigned to one of three groups in which only the type of daily exercise was different. The three types of exercise were brisk walking, riding a stationary cycle, and swimming laps in a pool. All women slowly but progressively increased the time spent in daily exercise to 60 minutes. After 6 months or slightly longer, the women assigned to walking lost 10% of initial weight, the women who cycled lost 12%, but the women who swam lost no weight. The thickness of the subcutaneous panniculus over the middle of the extensor surface of the upper arm was measured using a Lang skin-fold caliper (Graham Field Co, New York, NY) and showed equivalent substantial reductions in the walkers and cyclists, but no change in the swimmers. The results of this study show that both walking and cycling are effective methods of reducing body fat, but that swimming is not.


Toilet hygiene and the dirty Saudi

I know this is not the most appealing issue I could talk about, but I’m really facing a f***ed up problem here. All my life, I’ve been hearing Saudis saying things like “Americans and Europeans are so dirty… they don’t even use water to clean their asses”, or “Don’t they know it’s disgusting to urinate while standing and it’s unsanitary?”, and “they don’t have any decency. Hell, they have those standing toilet thingys where everyone could see your business.” First off, I don’t like the idea of those standing urination thingys, but only a malgoof Saudi would go peeking at everyone else’s business. Anyway, Saudis are f***ing dirty when they go to the bathroom. They always… AND I MEAN ALWAYS leave the hose running when they’re done, and the place turns into a f***ing sewage swimming pool. They jet that hose on their shitty asses and water that rebounds off their ass goes all over the floor. All of them have the worst aim I’ve ever seen, cuz taking a shit is a f***ing game. Squat down and try to shoot the shit in the hole!! And most of them can’t do that. You find this big terd sliding around. Let me tell you something, when you run water down the crack of your smelly ass, it’s not clean yet. It’s just wet. You have to wipe it. Because the worst thing you can ever see is a grown man walking out of a toilet with water running down the back of his pants.
Why am I writing this? because I just got out of the toilet, and I can say that an elephant’s colon is much cleaner. Plus, one of my “colleagues” was bitching about how dirty foreigners are because some of them don’t wash their hands after they use the toilet. I have never seen a clean public bathroom in Saudi Arabia… never. The worst part is the f***ing water… WHY? DIDN’T YOUR MAMA TEACH YOU TO CLOSE A WATER VALVE YOU DUMB F***!