Service Companies

As you might know, I’m currently working with drilling. So, we get a lot of service company representatives that come to our cubicles and try to sweet talk us into using their completions, bits, tools or whatever in our wells. These people have very…. Very… let’s just say very “colorful” personalities. Let me tell you about some of them:

The Jordanian and the Indian

This Jordanian dude is about 6’6 or 6’7, about 300 lbs or so, and maybe in his late forties. He always comes over with an Indian guy who is at most 5’4… the indian’s job is to say hello, smile, and keep shaking his head. From what I feel, the Jordanian really hates his job. Cuz all he does is shake my hand and try to rip my arm from its socket (the guy’s hand is as big as my upper torso… no kidding… his hand’s a foot!!!) and he just keeps talking about his cousin’s wedding. He spends about 45 minutes talking about the wedding while I wonder how the Indian doesn’t get a stiff neck from moving it around for that long. When he’s done, he just says “so, you need any bits?”

The Egyptian (No.1)

The engineer in the cubicle right next to me is hardly ever there. He says he has a job on the rig… but… well, anyway… the Egyptian’s (no.1) job is to come to my cubicle, and talk in the loudest voice he can about whether I know where that engineer went or not. And then he starts to tell me what that engineer has been up to, where he went last weekend, what he did, who he knows… etc. remember, this conversion is repeated almost every god damned day! In the end he says “tayib, awzeen haga? (do you need anything?)”…

The Egyptian (No.2)

This guy doesn’t talk much in the office… but damn, he always calls and says “hi! Are you busy? I was just wondering if we could hang out, maybe get a cup of coffee, some dinner… what do you say?”… of course, rule number 1 around here is never be polite to a service company or else they’ll bombard you with representatives from other divisions of that company thinking you’re an easy target. So I just say “no, I really don’t want to”…. The guy is fucking 40 years old! He should find another gimmick to try to sell me some bits. Some one who’s half your age really won’t want to hang out with someone like you. But, he aint the worst.

The Tunisian

OH MY GOD!!!! I’m surprised that they haven’t fired this guy yet. He is the worst service company representative I have ever met in my life!!! First of all, he arrives at your cubicle in stealth mode. What do I mean? He’s so damn thin, you can’t even hear him walk. And he’ll just stand there on your cubicle door and stare (our backs are usually turned to the entrance so our boss could catch us watching porn). You start to have an uneven feeling and you hear someone breathing. You turn around and there he is. Bug eyed, pale white, tall, thin dude. And when you stare at him, he just stands there without saying a word. You say “yes? Can I help you”… check out how this guy handles his “customers” (us). He says “mmmmm…. We have completions. Do you need completions?” like it’s fucking crack or something. I say “no, I’m not handling a rig right now. So I don’t need any completions.” He looks at my desk and sees some papers for a certain well being drilled by a certain rig. He exhales loudly and points at the paper with a straight arm and says “there’s a completion. You’re working on a well. You need a completion. Why did you tell me you didn’t need a completion?”… so I told him that first of all it wasn’t any of his business if I had a completion or not. And then I told him that this well was already drilled and I’m just entering the data in the database. He exhales loudly again and just leaves. This guy is a fucking freak. I swear there’s something wrong with him. When he walks by the hair on your neck would stand up. 2 or 3 days later… he’s back with the same “enthusiastic” routine.

The Qatifi

You know when someone says something annoying, and he thinks it’s funny and no one else does but him? Yeah… this guy comes to my cubicle every day, looks at my food, laughs and says “every time I pass by here I see your food and I get hungry. One day I’m gonna come when you’re outside and steal your food! hahahhaahah” …. After seeing me giving him a pity smile, he asks if I need bits… I say no and he leaves. Next day, same exact thing. He says he’s hungry and he’ll steal my food, then he asks if I need a bit…. Damn it!!! Here he comes again. Better get my pity smile ready.