Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Maids… why?

Sadly, for the past 10-15 years it has been “common” for the regular Saudi household to have atleast 1 maid working there (full time). I’m positive that 99% of the people who are going to read this will say “shyabi hatha?”… Look at what we’ve become!! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll tell you. A 23 year old college graduate can solve a quadratic equation in less than 7 seconds… but doesn’t know how to wash his own fucking underwear. More and more people (young people) think that “cooking” means boiling water to make coffee… hell, some people don’t even know how to make coffee. We don’t know how to clean the house… we don’t know how to iron clothes… Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone didn’t know how to scratch his own ass. Parents don’t raise the kids any more, maids do. My younger brother, Nasser, learned to count to 10 in Indonesian before he learned it in Arabic. To me, that’s just plain fucking wrong! Most people will start saying “but we’re busy and we don’t have time”… busy doing fucking what? Watching TV? You’ll miss star academy if you got up and actually did something useful?
The most competent and independent people I know are the ones who lived without a maid. Two people who are my best personal friends (my maryooma, and jawad) lived without a maid… and they can do fucking everything. Jawad can fucking cook lasagna!!! (I’M STILL WAITING FOR IT, BITCH!!). How many SAUDI WOMEN (who are supposedly bred to make babies and cook) do you know can cook lasagna? How many can cook eggs? How many can make tea?... the reader who said “7… 7 of them” is correct. Ok… if you think I’m sexist and I’m implying that women are here to make babies and cook (well… I wasn’t implying it, I actually said it)… then let’s switch to men… Men, what the hell do you know how to do? Can you fix shit around the house? Can you cook? Can you clean? Can you do laundry? Do you know that you actually have to wash your clothes from time to time?... do you know how to take the trash out?... I’ll tell you what we know how to do… we know how to say “jennie!!! Jeebeeli gahwa… wu ba6a6is!!!... wu ikwee malabsi!!... wu lamma yijee baba, sawwi 3’ada!! Wu lamma t5al9een, na6’fi il 7ammam!!”… for the non-“internet Arabic in English letters language” speakers (or readers), what I said was “Jennie!!! (which is usually the name the family made up for the maid) bring some coffee, and some potato chips… and iron my clothes… and when dad comes, make lunch… and when you’re done, clean the bathroom”…
I told my wife that I’m against the idea of hiring a maid. When we have kids inshallah, those little fuckers are going to do everything around the house. They’ll hate it, but that’s how you learn… no chores, no allowance. You have to earn your keep. I don’t like the idea of shitting 48 kids and letting the maid take care of them and everything else…. Holy fuck, I’m hungry!!!!!!!.... back to our subject… for those of you who think I’m saying this because I do everything around the house… no… I don’t … I’m just a hypocrite. I don’t do shit. My wife, who was bred to cook, clean, and make babies (I’m kidding honey!! I swear… wallah I’m just kidding), handles 99% of the shit around the house. Why? Cuz I’m a lazy fuck. But hey, that’s not what I’m gonna tell my kids ;) … hey, all they’ll know is that I used to walk bare foot, in 9 inches of snow (in Saudi… If they believe me, I’d have to kill them), to and from school… uphill.. both ways… and everyone I met on the way used to beat me up because I wasn’t thankful enough to have my health… or what’s left of it… cuz I was born with half a lung and 7 testicles… but when I graduated from college with a degree in every major known to man, I invented a lung and figured out to combine my 7 testicles into 2 large ones…. And then I’ll beat them shitless… then I’ll give them their allowance.





Side note: I’m ok with drivers since women can’t drive. But once they can (in the year 310024 AD), I won’t be ok with it.

A couple of comments on the forum that I found to be interesting

In a recent news article, they were discussing how steroids are one of the top drug problems in the US, and how it’s so dangerous and it could lead to suicide or “roid rage”… any way, a couple of guys on the forum I usually visit said this:

* the dea has a quota.. and steroids are easy targets.. if you were to ask dea agents about gear most would say it is a non issue.. look at the crime stats that the news has been posting.. rec drug use is up.. college drug use is up 50%.. the list from alc to cocain is skyrocketing.. the dea is helpless.. they look bad.. but, if ya can sensationalize a steroid bust.. and largely exaggerate the side effect so mom and dad are freaking out while they sit in front of the the tv and smoke and drink to excess.. old mom and dad can sleep at night knowing that the insidious dbol is off the streets....they have a captive audience.. but , watch.. the elections are up and dont think that someone will not bring up the staggering increases in cocain use, pot, alc, ect ect.. and lets see the attention shift.. they dont like little bobby going off to college to pop some dbol.. but, the thought of little bobby going off to college and snorting coke and using xtacy ect scares them more..


* I don't think it's a quota thing. I think it's because it has become a banner for the republican platform. President Bush talked about steroids in baseball in his State of the Union address two years ago. You are right, it is easy....very easy to target recreational steroid users and because of that it is very easy to make it look like you're making a difference in this huge problem. I'm so sick of seeing the media pull out parents of children that commit suicide and listening to them blame steroids. I'm sorry if this offends anyone but if you kill yourself you have serious fucking mental problems way before you ate 1 anadrol pill. I'll be the first to admit, we take our chances putting foreign substances in our bodies, especially ( and no offense to any sources, I personally love a couple UG labs) all the UG labs. There is no way for us to determine if it is sterile. There is no FDA monitoring the process. Aspirin kills more people every year than steroids. How many shooting or stabbing deaths are there every year in this country. Some one shoots somebody and the gun isn't blamed. It's the fucking psychotic sociopath that did it. Why can I go and buy uzis but not a bottle of test? You can die from anesthesia but yet they don't stop operating. Why can a 16 year old girl go to a plastic surgeon and get their nose shaved, lipo their stomach, and get fake tits? Frankenstein operations have become the norm and no one finds this unacceptable. People get their fucking stomachs stapled because they have no fucking self control. I do believe that there is a very small percent that do have a physicall problem but most people are just fat and lazy. Why can a mother try and sue McDonald's because she didn't know that feeding it to her son 3 times a day would make him fat.




The wrong foods… all along…

One of the greatest bodybuilders I’ve ever known (who built his body from scratch… intelligently and not depending totally on genetics) gave me some tips about the types of proteins, carbs, and fats I should be eating. He told me about a book that describes, in detail, what you should eat, and how you should exercise with accordance to your blood type. I know what you’re saying. It’s a scam and it’s been banned in Saudi for a while and whatever. It’s a scam because people are… well… retarded. The whole blood type thing was to tell you what kinds of food your body utilizes best. But what did people hear? They heard this “if you eat the foods that are highlighted in green, you’ll be thin”. Anyway, everyone said that it was a scam because they ate the food they were told to eat. Some got thin, some didn’t change, and some got fatter. Why? Calories… the ones who got thinner were the ones who basically only ate broccoli and fish. The ones who got fat were the ones eating steaks and cottage cheese. Get my point? Anyway, I did a search and read about this book and the article gave some basic information about my blood type (A+), the foods that are beneficial, neutral, and the ones that should be avoided. And boy… about 80% of the food I’ve been eating is a big no no. This would explain why sometimes when I switch to different food sources during a diet, I look much better… and when I change it again (breaking the routine, same calories and ratio), I start looking like crap. I will buy the book this week hopefully and read more of it. The bad news is… I’m probably gonna go back to tuna, ugh.


Edit: I just read the book for my blood type… if you're type A like me… you're basically screwed.


Losing it

Ok, I’m seriously on the verge of going insane. I took my last vacation on January of 2006… I haven’t had a decent weekend since god knows when… I’m the new guy here (again) so they get to throw everything on me, and they always have this lame ass excuse of “we only do this so that we can give you a good evaluation.” And when you say “I don’t want a fucking good evaluation because I’m underpaid now, I’ll still be underpaid after an excellent evaluation, and I’ll still be underpaid until I retire.” They somehow get a bad impression of you when you say that (seriously, we’re as underpaid as shit in this company. Other companies pay atleast 30% more as a basic salary, some over double the base pay, and people still think Aramco employees are somehow “rich and swimming in money”). Anyway, training used to be my “moment of Zen”. Now it just makes me more irritable. I’m not over training, because I know for a fact that I’m getting more than enough rest, and I’m going low volume on training. Some times I feel like I just want to start screaming in the middle of meetings and walk out. Not yelling, but just screaming like “AAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHH”. You know? I always try to put a smile on my face no matter what (except for the first hour after I wake up… that’s just impossible… although I wake up to the most gorgeous face on this planet, I’m still too tired and cranky to smile). I really think I’m gonna lose it one day. Really soon.