Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Not knowing what it is that makes it look good

The media has perverted the meaning of a “pretty body” so bad that it’s become ridiculous, stupid, dangerous, and defying human instinct. I think by now you are wondering “what kind of bullshit is this guy going to vomit on us this time?”… yet you will still read what I’m about to say cuz you know there’s some truth to it ;) …. At first, I thought it was just me… you know, I prefer “hard working” physique rather than the “I’m bulimic and on heroin” physique. I kept wondering how is it that other people would prefer the “model” look (regarding females) that would make a 22 year old women without make up look like a zombie stick figure over the look of a muscular, strong, hard working physique? It’s because people have never seen a muscular physique on women. And if they have, it’s like what they do to models in magazines… they air brush that shit so bad it looks gross… the lighting, the make up… everything… it starts looking gross. Anyway, trust me people… you would prefer the muscular, hard working physique of a woman over the stick figure heroin addict figure if you saw it. why do I say this? If my friends are reading, it’s because of you, you dumb asses!!! Hahahahaha… last Friday, I was about to blow up laughing when we were watching 30 rock. There was this scene where a guy went into the bathroom and a girl went after him… when the guys saw the girl, they went fucking nuts. I was just smiling and didn’t want to talk. The girl was a bodybuilder (more of a lean powerlifter type), small waist, big arms, big thighs, big back, broad chest, lots of muscle… I did not want to say that this chick probably could squat 405 lbs, and bench 225 lbs... because if I did, the guys would just snap at me and try to convince themselves that I didn’t know what I’m talking about. Truth of the matter is, muscle always looks good on men and women. It will make anyone look better. Much better.
I am 100% convinced that people know this, and they know that a muscular physique is always superior (when it comes to physical attraction) to a “normal”, “thin”, or “chubby” physique but they try to trick themselves into feeling better by saying it’s not.
Some people might argue that different people have different taste in what they find attractive. I agree… to some extent… not to the extent that “I like a man or a woman with a lot of fat on them”… no… no one would ever prefer a chrystler minivan over a porche… NEVER!!! They might settle for a minivan, and try to convince themselves that they’re too old for a $200,000 sports car… but deep inside, they know they want it. what I mean by taste is that some people would prefer a 911 careera… some would prefer a lamborgini Diablo.. some would prefer a Ferrari f-50… for those who don’t like sports cars… there’s always Mercedez, BMWs, Audi’s… and the list goes on… do you see where I’m going here??? If not… let me further explain…

Since people don’t have a clue about how muscular bodies look like (their idea of a person who is “fit” is someone who is naturally thin and has a flat stomach), they do not know the choices that are available. Let’s say if everyone worked out (by workout I mean train with heavy weights, acquire a significant amount of muscle mass, and go down single digit bodyfat levels), everyone would look different. We’d all be muscular, we’d all be lean… but some people will have a good V-taper (wide shoulders and back going down to a small waist), some people will have a “blocky” physique (they look strong, but aren’t very symmetrical), some people will have big shoulders, some will have small arms, some will have big legs, muscle shape would be different, and so on. If you’ve seen the movie “300”, you’d know what I’m talking about regarding men. They were all lean with significant muscle mass in that movie, but no two looked the same. As for women, they’d actually have curves if they were muscular. Yeah you retards, that’s where curves come from. If they came from fat, they would look like cookie dough or cottage cheese in a bag. Some women weren’t born to have a small waist (I know a cow will come in here and think it’s an excuse for being fat, but when I say small waist, I mean a 22 inch waist from the navel… a big waist on a lean female would be 26 or 27 inches from the navel… now 38 inches… cow!)… some women weren’t mean to have a large outer sweep in their quads… I’m sure that almost everyone who reads this won’t know what a fucking outer sweep is. Let me explain… when you see large thighs on a woman, the reaction is one of two… 1) “GODDAMN!!!!”… 2) “WEAR SWEAT PANTS YOU FUCKING COW!!” … why? They’re both big… right? There’s big as in fat… which is disgusting and looks like cookie dough… and there’s big as in the muscle on the outer part of the thigh sticks out, and there’s not much fat there. Some women genetically cannot develop those muscles, to a certain extent. So they won’t have big muscular thighs, they’ll have lean, well sized quads. Moving on to the back… the only two options you see these days are either dinosaur back (which is basically the spine sticking out of the skin and a visible rib cage from the back… shoulder blades sticking out… you know… Paris Hilton back) or orangutan back (which is basically slabs of fat folded on each other… usually gets narrower as you go down ending with a sagging ass that looks like a downward arrow). Have you ever seen how a muscular back looks like on a woman? I’ll tell you how, and you’ll say “really?????”… remember back when you were a wrestling fan? Remember the WWE divas you used to masturbate to when you were a teenager?? Look at their backs? Hell, look at their bodies… most of them are on the juice too. But, here’s where the difference comes in… some women have their shoulder blades far apart… this would make the back wider and less feminine… but it will also make the waist look much smaller… so see, there’s a pro to every con when you’re fit…

To make a long story short…
Muscle = attractive in a primitive human way… whether it be on a male or a female.

Why am I saying this?
Some of the new readers might think I am cocky and am trying to promote myself as being attractive… first of all, I consider myself fat, I have low self esteem, I was given the worst body shape known to bodybuilding, and half of my face consists of a bottom lip… so, ugly would be an upgrade in my situation. I am saying this to remind all the retarded people out there (I might be ugly, but I’m not retarded like you… well, maybe a little) to wake up. You are missing the whole point of losing weight. You don’t work hard to look normal. You work hard to look better. If someone went to work at 5 am, and left work at 9 pm everyday, even on weekends and his original hours were 7 am-4 pm and you asked him why… which answer would make sense?
1) I’m trying to get a promotion and be somebody in this company
2) I’m trying not to get fired
I see people working out for 2 hours every goddamn day so that they could look “normal”… and the retards are still fucking obese. They don’t have a clue about what they’re doing… I have skinny pencil necks asking me “what’s the best exercise for triceps? Cuz they haven’t grown in 6 months”… I ask them “what did you change in your diet”… and the answer I get is “diet?? What?? What diet??” … Most people I know hate the gym… hell, sometimes I hate it… and when you hit them with the truth about them wasting their time and their better off staying home, eating chips, and watching TV they say “uhhh… no no… I don’t want results anyway… I just come here for fun.” …. Fun my ass!!!
Men’s bullshit is tolerable… but women… holy mother of fuck!!! THEY ARE THE WORST!!! (no baby… I swear I don’t mean you… you follow the diet and you work hard ;) … seriously)… I have had a woman who asked me if she could use steroids… reason? Because she doesn’t want to diet or workout, at all!!! “you mean I still have to go to the gym if I take steroids???... forget it then…” …. AAHHH…. And the questions I get… GOD!!! You guys really have to stop watching tv!!! It’s fucking with your head!!!! The only women who actually manage to look “superior” to other women when it comes to a physique, are those who hang out with competitive bodybuilders and actually do the same shit those bodybuilders do. And when they land that bikini contract and get a ghost interview done with FHM and are asked “what did you do to get that body?” the ghost writer says “I do pilates, and I make sure to eat organic fruits and vegetables everyday and stay away from all those chemicals.” Women will never listen to the voice of reason (not you baby… you’re different… I swear ;) …) … they always listen to the “I heard Angelina Jolie works out like this” bullshit… and they believe that she has a fabulous body because the E channel said so. 99% of the bitches on TV have normal bodies… nothing special. I swear I don’t know what people see in them as being “special” and looks “fabulous”? THEY LOOK FUCKING NORMAL!!!! HAS THE WORLD BECOME SO FAT THAT NORMAL HAS BECOME THE NEW FIT??? That’s how fat you fucks got!!! (wow, I’m getting mad here… LOL!)…
Bottom line being… it’s not that I want you to hire me… seriously, I’m overbooked, so to speak (now I’m being cocky! LOL!)… I just want you to fucking give it all you got in the gym when it comes to weights. Lift heavy. Really fucking heavy. Don’t do a lot of shit. No machines… just free weights, and use an exercise that feels natural. Do fucking cardio in the morning if you want to lose fat. Eat good healthy natural food that you have cooked yourself. Protein, carbs, fats in each meal. No need for variety, just stick with something you know will work (like chicken, oats, broccoli, and olive oil) and just eat that all day. I have seen intensity levels of my clients in the gym… they suck… most of them… really… after a heavy set, you should be gasping for air, feeling like you’re gonna puke… seeing dots all around you. I see some of my clients finishing up their heaviest set and they aren’t even breathing heavy. WHAT THE FUCK!!??? Usually, the workouts I tell my clients to do take less than 40 minutes… I usually take 20 minutes on leg day… that’s it… but you make it count… those 20 minutes should be the worst 20 minutes of the day. Fuck all that “have fun” bullshit… if I wanted a fun work out, I wouldn't be at the gym… I would be getting it fucking on… that’s fun, and cardio at the same time!! But no fat ass fuck ever lost weight from too much sex. It’s not supposed to be fun. Your brain should say no, but your body should say yes (now I’m starting to sound like a Japanese sex cartoon)… ok… enough crap… I’m hungry…



this is for Jawad

i worked real hard on this, dude. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL