Bring It!
Excerpts from the diary of a pissed off bodybuilder, cont.

Well, I’ve decided to post this part early in the week because I have a vacation tomorrow, and I’m getting married next Thursday (YEAH BUDDY!!!!!! It’s about freakin’ time). So, I won’t be spending much time on my computer. Still, there’s an important issue I need to bitch about and I’m sure you do to. Keep on bitchin’ :

It seems like everyone is Mr.”know it all”, “done it all”, “when I was like you”, and “you’ll learn when you get there” these days. I’m not talking about wisdom, lessons learned, or science here. I’m talking about idiots in the same age group as I am in that pretend that they’re 200 years old and have done it and seen it all. Hypocritical, stereotypical, ass people! That’s who I’m talking about. Let me tell you some of my experiences, and others so you can relate. Now, I’ve been dying to get married to my fiancé for 2 years now. And whenever anyone of those ass people sees how happy I am to get married they start saying this “allah y3eenik. You’re happy now, but give it a year. Oh you’re gonna be in over your head. You’ll spend all your money on her, she won’t like anything, she’ll just complain all the time, you’re never gonna go out with the guys anymore… it’s like a prison cell”. Some of these people say they’re kidding, but the majority of ass people aren’t. why do they say this? Well, because most men here in saudi come from the same assembly line. A conveyor belt that rolls out either extremely thin, or extremely fat men that wear the same “dress”, “head dress”, shave all facial hair except for the thick mustache that makes them look like pornstars from the 70’s, and have the same stereotypes about women. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying all women are open minded or whatever. I used to know saudi women thinking the idea of being liberal and open minded is being able to go to Lebanon without her parents, wearing low waist jeans with her thong sticking out (notice, I said “used to know” cuz if I still knew them, my wife would shove 29 kilos of C4 explosives up my ass and press the button on the detonator without thinking twice). Seriously people, we’re not all the same. Men don’t just care about sex… well… yeah we do… but we care about a lot of other stuff too. Men aren’t just beings that need food, sex, and turn women into baby factories…. And then marry another and do the same. And women… they’re not all gold digging sluts. Some of them really don’t give a rat’s ass about money. A friend of mine once brought a magazine that has… well.. “wedding stuff” in it. and I saw something that looked like a piece of crap dipped in vomit. So I asked my friend “what the hell is this crap dipped in vomit?” and he said “you don’t know what this is? It’s a …” I really forgot what it’s called but it’s a bunch of flowers that the bride carries with her. And it looks like crap. I asked “why the hell would you carry something like that?” and my friend said “because the cheapest one would cost around $500. man, you’re really gonna piss your wife off.” First off, the answer to my question was because it was expensive, and not because it was pretty or tradition or whatever (hence, a gold digging slut stereotype is born). Second, I know my wife quite well. She’s a very intelligent person (which makes me seem extremely stupid some times). If I told her “how about you carry a dumb flower with you in our wedding” and she asks “why?” and I say “because it costs $500, and people think it’s a must”… I swear she would slap me.
To all those people who want to get married but think it’s expensive and they need to save up for ten billion years…. Mark my words… IT’S ONLY EXPENSIVE IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT EXPENSIVE AND BRAG ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE A SHIT!!!! And another word of advice for the men out there… if your woman only talks about how “I want the wedding like this” “I want the wedding like that” “I want people to talk about it” “I want this band to hit huge empty oil barrels that produce loud sounds and scream profanities that no one understands and charge $10,000 per night”… she’s marrying a wedding and a bank account.. and not a man. Cuz if a woman really loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you… she would say something totally different. Most people might argue “but the wedding night is supposed to be the night of your life”. Night of your life? It’s gone way past that… it became the night of eternal debt a long time ago. Don’t let the night of your life turn your life into a crapper. Of course, I’m not talking about people who have it easy… you know… 25 year old “men” who go “daddy daddy, can I have 2 million riyals to buy this car… it’s really cool and I want it I want it I want it!!!” and their idiotic father goes “sure son.. here you go” … please, don’t go into debt because you’re getting married. If your future wife doesn’t approve… she’s not for you. As for men….. don’t ask about the parents when you get engaged to a girl. Ask about the girl… from different sources. COME ON!! How many of you are just like your fathers? I assure you, daughters don’t turn out like their mothers all the time….
Just remember… I piss on other people’s opinions if I don’t like them… so please feel free to piss on my opinion in the comments section.

Have a happy eid