Tips for driving in saudi arabia



1- when backing out of your garage, don't look at the rear view mirror and don't back your car out slowly. Just floor it. The cars driving on the street will see that you are driving out really fast and will slow down for you.



2- If you see someone backing out of their garage, just floor it and don't give them a chance. The guy backing out of the garage will see that you are going too fast and will slow down for you.



3- when changing lanes, never signal (especially from the middle lane to the left lane). If you do, other cars will know what you are trying to do and will not give you a chance. if you surprise them by changing lanes quickly, they will slow down for you.



4- if you are on the left lane, drive as fast as you can (preferebly 50-100 km above the speed limit). This way, if someone wanted to change lanes from the middle lane to the left lane, they will have to wait for you to pass then they can change lanes.



5- The best way to make a left turn at the signal is by waiting on the lane in the far right, it's the least crowded.



6- when waiting for a signal to turn green, pay no attention to what other drivers are trying to do. don't worry, they will all stick to their lanes. you just do whatever the fuck you want cuz you own the road.



7-If you want to change lanes during rush hour, just creep in the lane you want and pay no attention to the car on that lane. eventually, that car will stop and let you pass for fear of banging his car.



8- if someone is creeping into your lane, don't let him. he will get as close as he can, but eventually he will stop due to fear of banging his car.



9- If you see women alone with the driver in the car, they are prostitutes. It's ok to harrass them.



10- If you see women with men and children in the car.... they are also prostitutes. It's ok to harrass them.



11- Always keep heavy cylindrical object (3ajra) under your car seat. Many people don't have morals and ethics and they depend on you to teach them.


12-If there's too much traffic, just take the shoulder like everyone else. don't worry, it's not like someone is gonna die on the road and they need an ambulance to get there really fast... god loves us more than any other nation and won't let anything like that ever happen.


13- Always keep a cassette or a half empty can of soda next to you. you never know when someone on the road pisses you off and you want to throw something at them.


14- Tail-gating is the way to go. Never leave more than 1/4 of an inch between you and the person in front of you. if you do that, he will be forced to jump over cars and move faster so you can reach your destination (which you are not in hurry to) faster.


15- Always leave the house when you're already late for work. That way, you'll have a valid excuse for going 3x the speed limit.


More things that make me go "WTF? Why??"

- Obese people who wear spandex

- Anorexic "thugs" who wear XXXXL size T-shirts

- Kadash (afros)

- Women who lie to their friends saying "well, my husband bought me this and this and that, always tells me how beautiful I am, always attends to my needs, makes my life heaven, and never even looks at other women... your husband should be the same." ... when in reality her husband hates her guts, fights with her all day and night, and sleeps with prostitutes whenever he's bored. they just say that to make the other girl feel jealous.

- Men have to understand everything about women, what to say, what not to say, how to treat them... blah blah blah... when women don't have to do that. i guess it's part of equality or some shit... and no... women don't understand men. When you really think about... all those women who keep on saying "men have to understand that a woman blah blah blah blah... and have to do this and that to take care of her... blah blah blah... he should do this, shouldn't do that... blah blah" the crap you read in books and see on tv... yeah, that crap... Do you actually know what that sounds like? when you think about it... it's like instructions on how to take care of a pet.
For women... if you feel like your man doesn't understand you, grow a pair of balls and understand him first. that might help.

- People who brag about how good they are at work, how much they worked, and how they are going to be the next CEO of the damn company... really, when you say that shit, what do you expect our impression about you will be? "wow, this guy is awesome. i'm gonna suck his cock now" ??? what we are truly saying in our minds is "GOD!!! WON'T THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I HOPE HIS WHOLE FAMILY DIES OF CANCER AND HE GETS AIDS!!!"

Final Thoughts

vacation in 11 days, bitches.... YEAH!!!!