A DAY IN THE LIFE OF RUFFLES!

The following segment is an interview with our very own ruffles... discretion is advised

Name: Ruffles, A.K.A. uffly, A.K.A. Tinese toggie (chinese doggie)

Age: 8 months (around 3 years in doggie years)

sex: Male (we're really not sure of that, since he only humps other males)

let's start the interview...

Me: So, ruffles, what do you usually do when you wake up?

Ruffles: I take a dump, retard.

Me: then what do you do?

Ruffles: i wait for boss lady to feed me





Ruffles: then the niggaz leave me home alone for about a fucking ETERNITY...




Ruffles: so i just get my mean face on and bark at the kitties til i wear myself out...







Ruffles: then, when boss man and boss lady come back, i show dem...




Me: ok... enough of your obnoxious sense of humor... since we know you're fucked up in the head and do stupid shit all the time, what are the things you usually regret doing?

Ruffles: i bet you think i'm gonna say "peeing on your pillow" but i never regret doing that... anyway, yeah... i usually regret getting drunk... one time... i saw a poster of the police looking for me... something about raping an indian janitor or something... i don't remember if i even did that... might've been shitfaced when i did that...

Ruffles: and then i fucking start trippin' on that counterfiet cheap ass doggie treats you feed me...









Me: ok, let's stop the lies you dumb ass... now tell the people what your favorite activities are...

Ruffles: i love to beat up kitties... those suckers are easy

Me: you fucking liar... we always take you out and you get scared shitless when you see a kitten... in fact, one day a kitten almost fucked you up when you came too close and she scratched your face!!!

Ruffles: nah... i was just playing with her... and i don't want to get you guys into trouble, you know, if i beat the shit outta kitties, the neighbors will complain and shit... i just want what's best for you guys...

Me: lying sack of shit...






Me: you know what's funny? when we give you a bath outside and leave you there to dry... you look so fucked up!! HAHAHAHAHA

Ruffles: yeah, you'll be laughing when i pee in your mouth tonight, bitch.




Me: ok, let's talk about something worthwhile here... you know i hate driving in saudi... and i think you hate it too... right?

Ruffles: fuck... you know i do... your punk ass and me finally agree on something...









Me: so... anything else you wanna talk about?

Ruffles: yeah... to all the people's out dey... if you have a bitch you need to get pregnant... i'm yo man... i do it for a fee though... and we have to get some fucked over breed going on... like, me and a pug get it on... we get a furry pug... that's fucked up... and funny...

later niggaz!!!!