Remember something called……

The Mediterranean diet? Yeah, they came up with that about 2 or 3 years ago, right? It built up some momentum and a lot of people kept buying their bullshit and shilling out cash to get a worthless diet that basically contained a shit ton of olive oil, bread, pasta, cheese, and a little bit of seafood and shit. The whole premise of that diet and the “scientific” data they had to prove that this diet was the be all end all of diets (just like every other fucking fad diet out there) was this:
“look at people in Spain and Italy. They aren’t fat!!! It must be the food they ate!”… and people believe shit without even looking it up. Well, as you might have known already, this diet died out a couple of months ago because this piece of information came out:



Yes, as you can see here (or as Cartman would say… Hnaaw), Italy and Spain are basically fat asses, even though they are very active. Blame it on fast food or whatever, but their shit diet isn’t healthy and won’t make you lose weight. So wake the fuck up.

Fad diets always come and go. Remember that shit called the chemical diet? People still fucking believe in it. Please, if you have an ounce of intelligence, explain to me how eat only bananas and milk on Saturday, oranges on Sunday, beef on Monday… etc. would result in weight loss due to some secret physiological action in your piece of shit fat body? The only way you can lose weight with this crap is due to mass balance. Fucking calories in < calories out = weight loss!!! If you aren’t a pig, and you don’t eat 80 bananas and 6 gallons of milk, you will lose weight due to a lesser caloric intake. When I tell this to people who are 200 kg overweight and are extremely happy when they try a new diet, lose 10 kg, then gain 20 the next month, they say “but it’s more convenient than the shit you do”… convenient? This shit is convenient? Eat kit kat bars all day long is also more convenient since they sell those yummy shits even in bathrooms these days, but it won’t get the fucking job done and pretty soon you’ll be affected by APS (Ass Piss Syndrome).

You wanna be healthy? Don’t ask me. I’m more than 20 kg overweight and am a chain smoker. But seriously, the only way you would give a fuck about your health is if it’s a last minute thing, or you’re over 45 years old. Fucking obese people saying “but it’s not healthy”… what? You are the fucking epitome of “un-healthy” and you have the nerve to say this? Fact of the matter is, you just want to fucking look good or acceptable. Fuck health until you’re laying on your death bed at 26 years old hooked up to IVs and shit and praying for your life and saying “GOD WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!” then… maybe then, you’d do something about health. But don’t kid yourself now. An obese cocaine addict (if you’re on cocaine and you’re obese… I applaud you for your retarded appetite) could be healthier than any of us. So it’s not about health. All this diet business is about looking good and you fucking know it. So, don’t bring health into this shit.

You wanna lose weight and you don’t care about your health? It’s fucking easy. I explained this to my friends, I explained it here, and I will explain it again… the junk food diet. You might gain some weight at first, but you’ll lose more with time. And you only get to eat junk (everyone’s dream… right?)… I will explain how this shit works, and then I will tell you the reaction I get from most fat asses (showing you how weak willed they really are, and even if there was a pill that’ll make you lose 20 lbs of fat in a second, they’d still be fucking fat)…

You eat this everyday (same quantities) for 2 weeks

Breakfast
2 cheese sandwiches, orange juice

Snack
Chocolate bar and soda

Lunch
Big mac meal, super size, and finish the whole damn thing (with regular soda, not diet)

Dinner
1 medium pizza with regular soda

In two weeks, you change the medium pizza to a small pizza with a diet soda

Two more weeks and you change the big mac meal to regular size with a diet soda

Two more weeks and you only eat half the fries with the big mac and only 1 cheese sandwich for breakfast

Two more week and you cancel the snack

Then you start power walking for an hour a day By the time you power walk for 2 weeks, you would’ve lost a total of 10 kg or so.

Responses to this diet from fat asses:

1- Although almost everyone I know eats like this every damn day, they still say “man, that isn’t healthy at all. I could develop diabetes or heart problems!”

2- I have to walk? And do it for 10 weeks? Fuck no. I want something to make me lose all this weight without changing what I eat and without exercise. I don’t have time for that. What if I just drink green tea before bed?

3- And this one is what makes me want to kick them in the teeth… “you mean I have to eat the same thing everyday?? No, I can’t do that.”

So, even with your whole diet consisting of junk food, you still can’t do it.