Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Myths and other shit

Ok, it’s time to debunk some crap that somehow became “true” due to ignorance

1-High reps light weight to get cut, Low reps heavy weight to get big

This is complete and utter bullshit. I don’t know how people came up with this conclusion, but I bet I have an idea of where it originated. Genetic freaks! Cardio is usually a bitch, and no one wants to do it (except old people who have nothing else better to do). When these freaks do high reps with light weights, it’s basically cardio… but they tend to keep all their muscle mass because… well, they’re freaks. If any other “average” or below average individual tries this, he will lose all his muscle mass, and burn a small amount of fat. It would make sense to believe that heavy weights will make you bigger, but that’s not always the case. My proof? Look at powerlifters. Benching something like 365 lbs at a body weight of 165 lbs at 6’ tall makes you strong, but not big. Basically there are two kinds of fibers that are of our concern here. One type is responsible for growth, and the other is responsible for endurance. 99% of the time, the first type responds to heavy movements at a certain rep range with lots of rest. The second responds to high repetitions, which builds endurance.
Basically, your physique is a direct result of muscle stimulus, and your nutrition.

2-If you’re a beginner, you’d best start with the machines, and then move on to free weights

I also don’t know who came up with this, but it’s definitely wrong. It’s like saying “before you learn how to drive a car, you have to learn how to play grand turismo on the playstation”. Most people will argue that it’s hard, and their arms start shaking, and they don’t have balance… blah blah blah… OF COURSE IT’S HARD!!! OF COURSE YOU’LL SHAKE!!! YOU JUST STARTED TRAINING!!! That’s how you learn stability and balance… that’s how you gain strength all over your body. If you start off with machines, then move on to free weights, you’ll still have the same problems. It’s like start off at square one again.
Not saying that you shouldn’t use machines, but I’m just saying that your lifts revolve around compound movements.

3-Don’t eat a heavy meal after 5 pm

Why? please tell me who came up with this crap! Will you turn into a gremlin if you did? The rational behind this is if you eat after 5 pm, your body won’t burn it off and you’ll store it as fat. Does your body have a time limit? Why 5 pm? That’s mid day to most people. If you know how to set up a diet and you have experience, you’d know that it is important to eat before you sleep. Look, when you sleep, what do you think your body is doing? It’s REBUILDING AND RECOVERING!!! It’s like saying “don’t charge your phone after 5 pm”… well, what if I run outta batteries at 9 pm? That’s what your body needs… a charger… FOOD!!! if you go to sleep on an empty stomach at, say, 10 pm and the last time you ate was 5 pm, you will have no calories to sustain recovery and rebuild your torn muscles.
I debated this with a friend a couple of days ago and he said “no, they meant don’t eat a HEAVY meal after 5 pm… you should eat light meals”… a bag of chips… that’s what people nowadays think is a “light snack”… shit has around 1200 cals in it… that’s not fucking light. People don’t even know what “light” or “heavy” is when it comes to food. Heavy (in most people’s minds) is when you eat a meal and feel completely stuffed and you can’t move. That’s not heavy, that’s fatal.

4-The nutritionist knows best

I don’t want to be portrayed as an arrogant ass here… but I’ve had countless people come up to me 2-3 months after following a diet that was set up by one of those scams “I’m a nutritionist, pay me $1500/month and I’ll send you the food directly to your house”, and ask for advice because they stopped losing weight 3 weeks ago… these scams are usually part of a medical organization… what they do is have one of their elite nutritionists set you up with a 1200 calorie diet from the get go… with about 100 grams of protein, 150 grams of carbs, and 20 grams of fat. Enough food to sustain life in a mouse… and they give this to a 250 lb obese person. Going from 5000 calories (a rough estimate for fat people who usually say “I can’t lose weight although I don’t eat much”) to 1200 calories will make you lose a ton of weight for a while… then you’re basically fucked, and you have to go back to your old weight, then start over. A nutritionist is nothing more than a person who got into college and said “hmmm… nutrition… I bet that’s an easy A”… no offence to nutritionists… some of them are miracle workers… but not in this country.

5-I’m sure it’s true since it’s written in the advertisement.

“500% more growth than leading whey protein brand”, 6000% faster absorption”… blah blah blah… all lies… this is an unregulated industry. A new lawsuit was filed against the company BSN (very famous supplement company) on their product “cellmass”… after testing they found that the product did NOT contain any creatine whatsoever, which explains why it tastes so good. This is a very reputable company… I wonder what the small time companies are doing? Probably putting sand in their “cookies and cream” flavored whey isolate.

6-Yoghurt and grapefruit burn fat

My mom and dad actually believed this… I tried to explain but all my mom had to say was “what? You know more than the doctor does?”… so, I used my cunning skills to convince them… by cunning skills, I mean making fun of them whenever I see yoghurt on the table say “here, eat this, you’ll be thin in no time… BWAHAHAHAH”….
For the retards who still believe this crap… if you have a glass that’s filled half way with water… now, you pour some what in it, does the water in the glass decrease?

7-Bodybuilding at a young age will make you short

The rational behind this is, if you lift weight for 3 hours per week, your spine won’t grow and whatever… and people usually believe that…
Let me tell you this, how many fat kids you know grew up to be fat adults at 6’ tall or more? I have 8 friends… life long members in the “I love me some ribs” club. All of them are taller than 5’10. these people carry around 20-150!!! lbs of extra weight that affects their spine 24 HOURS PER DAY!!! If that didn’t make them short, I guess 3 hours of weight training per week will make them short… I guess that’s why Arnold schwarisla,dngalsdhjrwerewnigger started lifting at the age of 13 years old and he’s… what? 5’2??? 5’1??... ohhhh, right… he’s 6’2.

8-bodybuilding makes you sterile

No… using steroids at a very young age (13-19) MIGHT… AND I REPEAT… MIGHT!! Make you sterile. Bodybuilding will make you a lot more fertile than being a fat fuck.



Well… that’s all I could think of for now… if you have anymore myths about bodybuilding, fitness, and nutrition, just post’em in the comments section



Are women trying to turn into skeletons?

I don’t know, man… I was talking to someone on a forum and he told me that most women in the UK want to look like this:






And judging from the current trend of Tara Reid, Nichole Richie, Hillary Duff… etc… I see them portraying these whores in the media as “beautiful and fit”… WTF???

This is for the women… is this true?? Cuz if it is, you’re goddamn crazy!!!