Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Take care of one, first. Then worry about the other 3

I was having a little chat with a guy at work with a very popular last name. If you’re Saudi, you’d probably know the name I’m talking about when I tell you that it’s mentioned in a lot of jokes where people with that name always come up with diabolical schemes to make people’s lives harder. Anyway, we got to talking about how there’s an alarming increase in the number of single Saudi women over the age of 25. This is what he said: “you know what the problem is? Men don’t marry enough women. In our family, we don’t have that kind of problem because around 20-30% of the men have 4 wives. Most of the others have atleast 2. Hell, I have only one wife and all my relatives think that there’s something wrong with me for not marrying a second wife. The solution is for men to marry more women.” Of course, I had the “WTF” look on my face after hearing that. I told him that that’s not even close to being a solution. Yes, our religion allows men to marry up to four wives. But god also said that if you can’t treat them justly, only marry one woman. Of course, since we’re men, we just skip the second part and say “GOD SAID YOU CAN MARRY FOUR WOMEN!! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WHAT GOD SAID??” back to the conversation I had with this guy… he went on to say that he knows plenty of men that treat their wives justly. I asked him what his definition of being just was. He said: “They bought their wives small houses to live in, they buy them food, have children, let them raise and take care of the children for them… what more do they want? I know this one guy, he’s a millionaire, and he’s Bedouin. Every day he sits in his real estate office til around 4, goes and picks up one of his wives and drives her to his tent in the desert, she cooks him dinner, they have sex, then he takes her back and picks up another wife the next day… see, he treats them equally.” … again, I had the “WTF” look on my face. I gave it to him straight… I said “so, basically it’s legal prostitution… right?” the guy got furious… “NO!! THIS IS HALAL!! And they’re doing the community a favor by taking care of these women.” Then the conversation went like this:

Me: “how many children does he have”
Him: “I don’t know… around 20”
Me: “does he know their names?”
Him: “probably not… he doesn’t have to.”
Me: “why doesn’t he?”
Him: “the women should take care of them… that’s their job.”
Me: “so, basically he pays these women money to take care of the kids… and his job is to just sleep with the women, and then he pays them.”
Him: “no… he takes care of them”
Me: “how? Other than sleeping with them and paying them”
Him: “I told you, he takes them to the desert and he lets them cook for him”

I just lost it there…
Of course, he then brought up the very famous bogus statistic by a guy that writes in a local paper. The guy in the paper has the same idea “to solve the problem of too many adult single females in Saudi, one should marry four wives”… this guy pulled a statistic out of his ass and said that the ratio of women to me in Saudi is 7 to 1… BULLSHIT!!! Go search for a statistic from the United Nations website on the ratio of females to males in Saudi… my brother sent it to me once and it was (I think) 1.3 to 1.1 … basically, there are as many females in Saudi Arabia as there are males. Then why are we having this problem in our society? … well, here’s my opinion:
1- Men are terrified of marriage these days because they have the impression of Saudi women being freedom taking, money guzzling bitches that only nag and complain about not having enough money
2- A lot of Saudi women are freedom taking money guzzling bitches that only nag and complain about not having enough money
3- Men have this idea that marriage = lots of kids + being bankrupt + no more social life + no more traveling to fun places
4- A lot of women have the idea of marriage = All the things your parents didn’t buy for you + driver to go wherever you want + maid, nanny, and cook to take care of everything + infinite money in your bank account + doing whatever the fuck you want
5- Most women think that an affordable mahr (I forgot what’s it’s called in English, but it’s like a… say… marriage down paymen.. lol!) is an insult and it belittles them.
6- Most men think that the mahr, wedding, and apartment will cost 17.238 million riyals.
7- SOME WOMEN JUST DON’T WANT TO GET FUCKING MARRIED AND THAT’S FINE!!! DON’T PRESSURE THEM!!!
8- SOME MEN JUST DON’T WANT TO GET FUCKING MARRIED AND THAT’S FINE!!! DON’T PRESSURE THEM!!!

I said it once, and I’ll say it a million times cuz this shit is getting on my nerves. Women! Don’t create this image of the perfect man you want to marry. He doesn’t exist. Men are human beings, you know. Look for someone who will love you for who you are and will do anything for you. He’ll make mistakes, but who cares. As long as he loves you, treats you right, and doesn’t cheat or fool around, he’s ok. If you’re looking for money and nothing more… prostitution is the answer. No offense, but that’s what prostitution is… having paid sex. Money will never buy love… and without love, you’ll never know what it means to be happy.

Men… same thing goes for you… if you want marriage for the sex and food (sadly, that’s what I’ve heard from most of the people that work here), then get a whore and buy some cheeseburgers from mc d’s. You are supposed to be a man. Take care of your woman, love her, spoil her… and spoiling does not mean spending your paycheck on her… that’s how you spoil strippers… you throw 1 dollar bills on’em… spoil her by doing something romantic for her, always tell her how much you lover her, make her feel special… In our culture, we always say that the man should be the one taking care of the house… TAKING CARE DOESN’T MEAN YOU JUST HAVE TO PAY THE BILLS!!! You have to take care of who’s inside that house… not by buying them food, clothes, and shit they don’t need… take care of them by making them feel happy.

Once again… who the fuck am I to give advice anyway??!

It’s our nature

Well, I only have around 1 week left in this shit hole and then I’m off to another assignment. God knows where they’re gonna throw my ass. Anyway, this place sucks ass. I’ve learned during my stay here that the main objective of little engineers like myself is to sugar coat all the bad stuff. So, when upper management sees the results, they’re happy… even if those results aren’t even close to reality. Instead of letting management know that we’re basically fucked and we need a new plan, we just forge all the shit we do and say “look! We’re in good condition!!” how the fuck would you expect us to solve the problem? I asked this question, and basically the lower chain of management (my boss) hated my guts. Now, I’m going through absolute hell because I asked a question that might help the company. You know the saying “if it aint broke, don’t fix it”? yeah, we have another saying… “if it’s broken, try kicking it… and if management comes over, use super glue”… let’s take this for example… the efficiency in an area I’m involved in is 20% because we’re depending on idiots… we have things that can be done remotely and the equipment is busted and no one wants to fix it… because, basically we don’t know how… so, we have to do the shit manually… which takes A LONG ASS TIME… what can be done in a month takes around 4-5 months to do manually… so, what do we do? We forge shit and kick efficiency up on paper to 80%... so when management sees it, it’s all fine. If we tell them that the efficiency is 20%... action will be taken to fix the shit… but nooooooooooooo… we can’t do that… cuz they’ll blame lower management first, then fix the problem… of course, lower management doesn’t want to get shit, so they just lie… and in the end… I get fucked and people say I’m not doing my job…. Heh… don’t do my job… I sometimes have to work from 6 am to 6 pm without fucking over time and they tell me that I’m not doing my job? I figure shit out on my own because no one wants to teach me fearing that I’ll do a better job than they do, and I’m not doing my job? I lose 2 hours a day driving to and from work not getting shit for the damage done to my car from the roads and the gas I burn, and I’m not doing my job?
Selling drugs would be a much more respectable job… and the pay aint that bad…

Madea goes to jail

Did you see that? Man!! That shit’s funny!!! It’s kind of a play, which was weird at first… then you just start laughing til your ribs hurt!! Man, you have to watch that shit!

The toy at McDonald’s

That.. is… the coolest toy I’ve ever seen!!! Order a happy meal if you’re in shargiya… that shits cooooooool!!!! “TAAANA… HANAHANAHAAA NANA… TAAANA!!” loooooooooooooool!!!!!!

I’m out!!!!