Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

B.G.S.

You see it every day. From top level professional bodybuilders, to the fat ass on the street. Yes, I’m talking about Big Gut Syndrome (BGS). You often find a lot of people developing a huge gut that sticks out like a sore thumb… sore thumb? What the fuck!? It’s a huge gut for god’s sake!!! But what’s the difference between a big gut, and a fat stomach? There are countless “theories” about this. Personally, I believe it’s the location of the fat itself. Sometimes you see a guy with a 45 inch waist and very little fat on his belly. In my opinion, this is caused by fat being stored beneath the muscle itself and around the internal organs. The culprit? INSULIN!!! That’s right. Insulin is a highly anabolic hormone… anabolic to both muscle and fat tissue. It seems that if insulin is spiked throughout the day while fat is being stored, it will most likely be stored between your organs. A lot of professional bodybuilders use a very high dose of insulin leading to a contest (this is all speculation… no one knows exactly what they do… but obviously, it’s working)… they get ripped to shreds on the outside… but they still have a humongous gut! I truly believe it’s because they cannot burn visceral fat (fat packed between your organs) while using large amounts of insulin. Moving on to the common fat ass… let’s look at someone that went from a candy-soda-fried food diet to the atkins diet, where they limit carbohydrate intake. The first thing they notice is that they’re waist size dramatically decreases over the course of a few days or weeks, although there’s no noticeable decrease in BF %. Why? Well, they got rid of the carbs, so basically they got rid of insulin. They most likely tapped into the visceral fat stores first. To me, that makes perfect sense. Lately, I’ve switched almost all of my carbohydrate sources to low GI mostly complex carbohydrates. Mind you, my carbohydrate intake is very high. Although I’ve accumulated some fat on my lower back and abs, my waist size stayed the same and my gut isn’t protruding as much. So, I’ve concluded that by keeping insulin secretion under control by using low GI carbohydrates, you can limit visceral fat storage. Remember, this is only speculation and it’s not based on any scientific evidence. Because when it comes to fat loss, scientific evidence sucks ass.

Women… they never seize to amaze me

This must go down in history as the dumbest thing ever said by anyone!!! My wife came back from work one day and she told me about a little chat she had with her co-worker. I seriously could not believe that there could be someone that stupid. Here’s what my wife’s co-worker said “you have to wear sports shoes if you want to work out or walk… because I read in a magazine that you don’t burn any calories or fat if you wear regular shoes or sneakers… you have to wear sports shoes.” …
I mean, I know men come up with stupid shit all the time… hell, 99% of what I say outside the world of “diet and fitness and shit” is stupid. But women… DAMN!!! Come on!!! Stop reading those stupid magazines that say “you’ll find true love this week if you’re a torus”, or “psychologists found out in a recent study that women who shave their legs 3 times a week are most likely gonna end up in a happy marriage”… those magazines are full of bullshit!!! They’re even worse than bodybuilding magz!

Music and music videos

… what is this world coming to? Seriously, all the beats sound the same to me… the lyrics are all the same… I could turn on the radio and sing along with the shit they play and not even know the song… it’s pathetic… I mean, I’m a rock fan… real rock, not that stupid “my chemical romance” or “pink” kind of rock… I’m talking about black label society, slipknot, pantera, the old old old metallica, disturbed, non-point, ill Niño, stone sour, tool, the old korn… what ever happened to that shit? They don’t sell… and I’ll tell you why… they don’t have asses shaking on music videos… they don’t raise a huge gold and diamond chain to the camera man and keep pointing at it… they don’t talk about how they bust a cap in someone’s ass (I know, I’m old… no one says that anymore… I’m old :( )… my wife loves watching MTV… I hate that shit cuz they don’t play any of the songs I like. And what the fuck does fergalicious mean? What the hell is this London bridge shit? Talking about smacking that right on the floor or whatever… it’s ridiculous! Music videos have turned into softcore porn!! I mean, if it were porn I’d have no problem with it, cuz you’d expect naked people banging the shit out of each other… but, in a music video, I want to see bands playing live, or in a studio, or a nice video that explains the song… or just freaky animation like tool’s videos… but to see half naked bitches on chairs singing about shit no one cares about called “the pussy cat dolls” or whatever… that’s just stupid… but nonetheless, they give horny viewers what they want… go out and buy porn… it cuts straight to the chase…