Excerpt from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Help me help you

I need volunteers. I’m currently training 8 people (2 of them aren’t paying cuz I practically begged to train them. One is as strict and determined as shit, and the other is a genetic freak… the rest are the kind of people who call me to say “I didn’t buy any chicken last week so I ate at quizno’s… is that fine?”… that’s why I had to charge)… anyway, I need more people… dedicated and strict people. I only need 5 more people… male, female, dog, it doesn’t matter… aham shay, I need people with goals and with a bit of experience in the gym. I don’t want someone who’s 30% fat and never walked on a treadmill, and I don’t want someone who’s been training for 15 years that’s prepping for a contest… I need normal people who go to the gym, lift weights, and do cardio. I’m offering 12 weeks of training for free… if you’re strict… I will stop training you for free if you keep on slipping up. All you need to do is add me to your yahoo messenger… then I’ll start bugging the shit out of you making sure you eat on time and you don’t miss training sessions. 12 weeks is more than enough time for a full body transformation, but you have to work hard for it. I don’t want to see any pm’s saying “I was too busy to eat at work”, “we don’t have a microwave at the office”, “I had to work late hours”, or any of that crap. I want serious people here… just to give you an idea, here’s the food on the menu that you can choose from

Protein:
Lean beef
Chicken breasts
Eggs
Tuna
Whey
Casein
Milk
Liquid aminos
Cheese

Carbs:
Oats
Potatoes
Whole wheat bread
Fruits
Veggies
Glucose
Vitargo

Fats:
Peanut butter
Olive oil
Fish oil
Flax seed oil
Nuts

You will have to cook your own food. You need a foreman grill for the beef… other crap, you can cook with pots and pans and regular shit you should have at home. If you can’t take your food to work with you, buy some fucking shaker bottles and spend some cash on casein, whey, and liquid aminos cuz you’re taking those with you. You will also need some supplements, but I’ll tell you what you need when I talk to you. This shit aint for pussies… I want before and after pics… if you’re serious, your own jaw will drop when you see the difference.
I need people like shono and Bandar… Bandar would eat hay if I told him to, and he’s an animal in the gym… I walked in on shono in his house a couple of days ago and he was eating his eggs… good boy, shono. Good boy… I want people like those two.
If you’re interested… add me to your yahoo messenger… bu_selmo@yahoo.com … I’m usually there from 7 pm to 10 pm Saudi time (GMT+3)…

It’s weird how some people think

I was training at the gym yesterday and I met a friend I haven’t seen in a while. We were talking between sets and asked me what my goal was right now. I told him that I just wanted to get leaner cuz I hate being fat and I wanted my contest prep to be something like 3 weeks instead of 16. So he asked if I was gonna compete any time soon. I said no… I’m just doing it for myself. He said: “yeah… right… for yourself… who are you kidding, man? Are you going on vacation soon?” I said: “no… not til august” so he said: “why didn’t you say so in the first place? You wanna look good for the ladies”… I said: “dude… you know I’m fucking married… the only person I need to impress is my wife… again, I’m doing this because I hate being fat.” He said: “yeah, whatever. Look, there’s nothing called you’re doing it for yourself. you either do it to impress women, or you don’t do it at all. Don’t kid yourself.” … I just stopped talking to him after that and kept on lifting.
Seriously, is there anyone out there that thinks this way? I mean, do you really believe that no one does anything for “themselves”? and it’s all just to impress women? Because, really, if you want to impress women, bodybuilding aint the way to go. I have seen more fat, disgusting, rude, obnoxious, and filthy men attract women more than any bodybuilder has. All it takes is money and self confidence. You can be the ugliest, most obnoxious, fattest fucker in town… if you have shitloads of money… you’ll get women. Sorry if this offends some women… but I’m talking about the ones you see everyday. Personally, I was never any good with the ladies… hell, I don’t even see what my wife likes about me. But I know people who are really good with the ladies… and damn… some of them… well, most of them are just fucking as obnoxious as shit! A lot of them aren’t even slightly good looking… and well, I don’t mean to sound like an ass, but Saudis weren’t blessed with the best bodies. Yet they still manage to hook up with a shitload of women. All it takes is expensive clothes and a really expensive car. Maybe it’s just me… I don’t know.. but the point is… if you’re into bodybuilding just to impress women, stop it. You’re in the wrong neighborhood. ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS SAUDI WOMEN!!! YOU’RE WAY OFF!!

Update

Well, I’ve been fighting an uphill battle for the past 5 years and it aint getting any easier. The size game is just not for me. I’m up to way too many calories and I just feel like I’m gonna puke all day long. My stomach was so distended, I thought I was pregnant. My waste blew out of control and I don’t like it one bit. So, it’s time to throw in the towel regarding the size game (well, atleast for the next 3 months) and it’s time to get shredded… I’ve competed twice and I’ve never showed up being lean enough. It’s time to change that. I’ve been dieting down since Saturday, but my weight has went up a bit and I’m getting leaner (THANK YOU, PHIL!!). So, yeah… I think I’m sick of bulking and shit and I just want to get shredded… I have 8 months to do it… I think that’s more than enough time. I took some pictures last Thursday and I tipped the scale in the morning with an empty stomach at 209 lbs. My symmetry can’t get any worse, but that’s what I have to work with. Wish me luck!