Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder
Lucky f***er!!!
i was chatting with faisal (trainer) a couple of days ago and i asked him about his maintenance caloric intake... i just wanted a rough idea on how much food he needed to stay the way he is... after he told me... i was about to kick him in the nuts!!! WHY!!?? HOW?!?! this is what he said: "well, it depends. if i'm under 220 lbs, usually 2000 to 2400 calories is enough... if i'm over 220, i'll eat around 2600 to 2800 calories." ... F***ING BASTARD!!! right now, i'm about 195 lbs... if i eat less than 2900 calories, i start losing lean mass (without cardio and shit). If i want to gain, i'll eat anywhere from 3500 to 4500 calories (depending on how fat i'm willing to get). and this guy is much heavier and bigger than i am and eats less!!! :( it's not fair!!!!
Fascinating how people don't know shit!
at work, i'm the diet and training guy. i actually spend more time explaining nutrition and training concepts than i do working. Anyway, i have discovered (well, i knew this a long time ago... but it never ceases to amaze me) how uneducated people are when it comes to this shit. no one, and i mean no one here at work takes a multivitamin pill. when you ask them why they don't take one, they say they don't need it. when you ask them why they don't need it, they say because they get it from fruits and vegetables. so, i ask them "what's your daily fruit and vegetable intake?"... most of them say apples, oranges, bananas...etc ... vegetables are the usual "carrots, zuchini, cucumbers (or as my sister says "cumber q")... etc" ... ok... let's get one thing straight... those foods don't supply enough vitamins for a cockroach, let alone a full grown, active human being. most people i know say they eat a lot of fruit. of course, they think it's alot, but it's usually one serving every other day or so. ok, we'll let the vitamin thing go because you read a colorful email with pretty pictures that says "did you know that one lemon supplies vitamins, minerals, and anti-oxidants enough to last a year? it'll also make you feel better, you won't ever get sick, your shit will start smelling like cool aid, and you'll piss gold... it's true" and people believe that... anyway, let's talk about water... really, count how many liters of pure water you drink. i can tell you that it's less than 1 liter... count it. i'll bet my left testicle on it. all the nutritionists (not sports nutritionists... but lazy people nutritionists) recommend that lazy ass people who don't move a finger should drink atleast 8 glasses of water per day (that's around 2 liters) OF WATER!! NOT FLUID!! i make it a habbit to drink atleast a gallon at work... and about 2-3 liters during and after my work out. my total fluid intake is about 2.5 gallons (10 liters) and guess what? people at work make fun of me. ofcourse, the same people who never drink water and never take a multi vitamin pill and thing "mfa66a7" is a healthy meal and are grossly overweight are the same people who tell you that weight training will make you impotent and sterile, protein will ruin your kidneys, and too much training is dangerous.
really... keep track of your water intake... you'll be very surprised
15 Comments:
well, to tell u the truth. i once heard about the water thing and how it concerve energy and improves the metablizim of the body. so i raised my intake from 1 litre to 2.5-3 and continued for 3 weeks. nothing really happened, i felt exactly the same. maybe this theory does not apply to everyone. i'm a healthy person who doesn't smoke, take alcohol. eat healthy food most of the time and play football 3 times per week. does the water theory apply for obese people only ?
ali,
you can think of water as your engine oil. say, you change it every 5000 km... and you have the same car, running on the same conditions, but you change the oil every 15,000 km... which car do you think will last longer?
as human beings, we rarely see health problems before the age of 30. but after that, you start breaking down. and what you did over those 30 years will reflect on your physical health. water cleans your whole system, fills your cells, hell!!! your body is more than 70% water!!! do you think 2.5 liters is enough to replace the water you lose through sweating, breathing, urinating... etc? remember, your water cleans your whole system, you have to change it over and over and over. 3 weeks is nothing. seriously, if you want to notice changes... do it for a couple of months, atleast. take pictures before and after, and i assure you, the least that will happen is your skin will look tighter and brighter (not color wise, but fullness)
So if people don't do it the way you do 5la9 9aroo uneducated :s.
You take multivitamins and drink tons and tons of water b/c your larger then average. You don't expect a woman to do the same.
Afterall if a nutritionist says i need "?" much water i'm gonna listen to him. He's the one with the degree wila ?
I didn't mean this as an offence, but i disagree.
P.s shit you must pee like 50 times a day from how much water you drink.
"So if people don't do it the way you do 5la9 9aroo uneducated :s"
when did i ever say that? Read exactly what i said. i said people are uneducated when it comes to this shit... shit being diet, training, and nutrition. there's a huge difference between nutrition and sports nutrition. i just told you that i drink 6-7 liters of pure water per day, and that a normal person (according to nutritionist recommendations) should drink atleast 2 liters. if a sedentary person takes the same vitamins i take, they'd probably get sick from overdosing. i take around 4-6 times more vitamins than the normal person should take. all you need is something like centrum. let's see if you can get this, what are good sources of vitamins A, B-complex, C, D, E, and K? where can you find enough potassium, zinc, magnesium, iron, chromium, silicon, vanadium, boron, nickel... etc? how much do you need of all that (according to the RDA)? what are the RDA basis for calculating these needs? what are the water solubile vitamins that you have to replace every 3-6 hours? what are the fat soluble vitamins that get stored in your body and you have to watch out for overdoses?
i'll bet you don't know... and you don't really care. and you shouldn't. because one multivitamin pill (once, preferably twice a day) will take care of all that for you. let's take a small example here. people say that a glass of orange juice has all the vitamin C you need. a glass of orange juice has around 90 mg of vitamin C. 90 MG!!!! i take about 1000 mg every 6 hours!!! and vitamin C is water soluble... so your body flushes it out in a couple of hours. yes, it's all you need TO PREVENT SCURVY!! when was the last time you heard of anyone getting scurvy? all the rage this year is about anti-oxidants and whatever... did you know that the strongest anti-oxidant known to man is vitamin C? of course you didn't. because if you did, how would they sell you all that green tea and shit?
I did not take this offensively, but it really bugs the hell out of me when people start talking about how eating fruits and shit is healthy and gives you all the nutrients you need and how eating my suggested "balanced diet" is not healthy. why? because they read in an email that i don't know what and i don't know what. you want healthy advice? i'll give you healthy advice just like a nutritionist will. you want a nice body? i'll tell you how... and a nutritionist (not a sports nutritionist) will tell you how it is wrong to do that and i don't know what (because seriously, the human body is not meant to go below certain body fat levels or gain an amount of muscle more than it's genetically inclined to, or else everyone would look like a fitness model). if you want to be extreme and don't give a rats ass about your health but want to look really good (kinda like what i'm doing... still healthier than what 90% of the people here do) i can tell you how to do it.
"Afterall if a nutritionist says i need "?" much water i'm gonna listen to him. He's the one with the degree wila ?"
i'm a petroleum engineer with a degree... i can tell you that a degree doesn't mean shit. i don't know shit about shit in petroleum engineering... i just passed some tests. but i love the human body and how it works and how you can fuck around with it. that's why i spent more than 6 hours a day, everyday of the past 4 years just reading about it. a nutritionist, doctor, engineer, accountant, whatever... is not always right... when i was on my honeymoon, my wife got sick... i knew it was an infection becasue symptoms were fucking obvious... fever, chills, no cold or anything, severe joint pains... that's a fucking infection... we went to the doctor and did tests for three days... the fucker didn't even know what was going on and just kept jabbing her with needles and giving her medications, he said "maybe it's a virus... there are viruses going around these days"... it got worse til we came back to saudi and they did more test and put her on some very strong anti biotics and she got better... so please, don't tell me a degree makes you an expert. that doctor could've killed my wife if we stayed there longer. i'm not saying i'm superman and i know everything... i don't know shit about other stuff. but when it comes to the human body... i know alot.
and yes, i piss like a race horse. but i cut off fluids at 7:30 pm and just sip on something with dinner cuz i don't like the idea of waking up 40 million times at night to piss. i still wake up about 4 times :(
oh, one more thing...
"You don't expect a woman to do the same."
obviously, you don't read my blog. so, don't go judging and disagreeing without knowing the whole story. In some posts, and in my book, i've explained how women should train, diet... etc.
LOL buddy when I was reading your post I kept drinking water from my 1,6L bottel....
And good job on defending yourself right there ;)
I agree too with what you said about the degree...you can get a degree in something and still not know any carp about that subject...I have a Process Engineering Degree and I know crap about that...LOL this is life you dont always get what you want....
To all of you out there:
When you sit with Hamad and he talks about something he convinces you into it because he talks in a scientific way...I love you dude and I respect your huge knowledge about Nutrition and the human body...keep going buddy your the best
i liked the idea of taking 'before and after' pictures to see the difference ... thanks for the educational info ...
I told you don't get mad and you did :S i didn't mean to bug you. 5la9 PPL 7mad is right. Fuck degree's he's the shit . Want advice come to him.
Just plz don't give me another lecture
i didn't get mad... wallah... i'm like this naturally :)
i overreact over everything... that's how i shut people up :)
wallah, i didn't mean to offend anyone and i didn't get offended... i just want some brownies and cookies... but no more cheating :(... ooohh... or cookie dough...pillsbury... mmmmm
oh... and bandar, thanks buddy :D ... we'll make you big, soon ;)
... no no no... i didn't mean that in a dirty way!!!!!
Good job Hamad.
Bnt3bdullah, typing 'no offence' after attacking a person is not an escapte route when he inevitabley defends himself!
When you disagree, just say I disagree! LOL and yes, when you do disagree be prepared to confront the person's debating style (I may not necessarily agree with Hamad's style though :P)
Also, when taking advice, degree or no degree, you should always, always, always do your own homework, read and research the information to make an adult responsible decision?
A degree is just a piece of paper. I bet if Hamad decides tomorrow to take a certification test in (sport)nutrition/body building, he'll pass with flying colors :P
not to brag bas i make the best triple chocolate fudge brownies
u want
u want
i know u want
just say u want
hahaha << tbee tsmink lol
la im just joking
i really need some brownies too :'(
Sunshine, thanks for the encouraging words... actually, i'm gonna apply for a personal training certificate in a couple of years (i'm on a 3 year rotation in my job, so i'll work on it after i settle down). after that, i'll start charging you bitches for training and diet plans!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! anyway, what's this thing with you guys and "you attacked" and "defending yourself" this isn't a fucking war!! and it's not a thesis defense session!! IT'S A FUCKING BLOG!!! obviously, bnt 3bdullah doesn't know my style in writing (filthy, and in your face... total opposite of real life hamad :)... except for the filthy part... i only watch my tongue around my wife) anyway, ofcourse a lot of people are going to disagree with me.. i don't mind... the info you get from "colorful emails" is almost the exact opposite shit of what i write here... sometimes reality hurts and people want the easy way out... hell, when i read an article saying "you only need 60 grams of protein to grow muscle" my eyes pop out and i want to believe it... but i know it's not even close from being true. i've said it in my book... it's simple, you have 2 rules:
1- eat more, you gain weight. eat less, you lose weight.
2- depending on the nature of your exercise and the ratio of your nutrients... you will either gain/lose muscle or fat.
that's putting it in "stupid man i don't want no details" terms. in my blog... i write explainations and give you the extra 5% that could make a small difference in gains and in health.
and bnt3bdullah, you haven't tried my wife's brownies... oh god!!!! i once brought some to work and gave some to my coworkers... damn! they were almost kissing my feet begging for more... soft, chewie, creamy brownies with fudge in the center and frosting on top... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
7mad i dont believe those colorful emails either. I mean i barely open my email lol ive got like 2556 unread emails so ya i have no clue what ur talking about when u say those colorful emails :P
P.S i want frosted browniiiiiiiiies :'( can ur wife make me some lol?
ok, colorful emails are the emails that have a couple of paragraphs, each paragraph comes in a different color (purple, pink, yellow, blue... etc) paragraphs usually go like this:
did you know that eating 2 bananas everyday will give you enough energy for the whole day? recent studies in america show people who eat 2 bananas everyday have lower cholesterol than other people? a medical study proved that the potassium in the bananas are good for the heart and prevents cancer.
now, they never cite any of the studies. it's always "recent studies" what studies? who conducted them? your mom? and then they say "in america" or "in england" and people go "ooooooooooohhhh... ameeeericaaaaa" and by default it makes it true...
to answer your other question... probably not. our oven only has the capacity to make 80 brownies at a time... and my stomach has the capacity to ingest 600 brownies at a time... it's an equation for disaster...
hahahahaha...this reminds me of one time when i was going to meet my friends... and i decided to get a dozen donuts from dunkin for everyone... got a dozen... in a 5 minute drive to the apartment... i ate about 10 of them... when i got there, i had a huge box with only 2 donuts inside and my mouth was covered with powdered sugar and custard... one of the guys looked at me with hate and i was like "............ what?"
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
mshalah 10 donuts loooooooool
i would understand if they were kirspiy kreme but dunkin blaaaaaaaa5 ilmhm bil 3ayfa hehe o0o i hoped u enjoyed ur powder covered custard filled donuts ;)
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