Warning: this is just for shits and giggles. Do not try any of the crap written below. I will not be held responsible if you mess up. Plus, if you ever try this, mess up, and try to sue me, i'm in saudi. So good luck trying to do that.

Ok, it's time to talk about something new around here. I know most of you won't approve of this, but who cares? it's my blog :P
in the past couple of weeks i've been asked by a bunch of different people about steroids. Some of them were friends trying to get on my nerves, and others were just serious. So, today i'd like to talk to you about the basics of cycling.

Before you ever think of going on a steroid cycle (or as they call it here in saudi, course) you have to accomplish certain tasks, naturally. Here they are, with the explanation why:

1- YOU SHOULD DO ATLEAST A YEAR'S WORTH OF RESEARCH!!!!
this is the #1 reason why most people f*** up when they start cycling. "i'll take 1 cc of this yellow stuff, and 1 cc of this transparent stuff, and 2 tabs of the blue stuff. that's what the couch told me" those are the kinds of idiots that i'm talking about. and yes, they exist. infact, they're the majority of steroid users. you should know what the compounds are, how they work, proper dosage, half life, side effects, how to combat those side effects, how to treat yourself after administering those hormones, and how to take full advantage of the cycle, diet and training wise.

2- YOU SHOULD TRAIN NATURALLY FOR ATLEAST 3 YEARS (OR IF YOU GAIN ATLEAST 30 LBS OF MUSCLE)
Most people ask me why they should do this? why not jump into it from the get go? well, steroids are very strong drugs, yes. but if you don't know how to diet and train correctly, they won't do shit for you. I've personally seen people go on cycles where they've gained about 20 lbs in 10 weeks, only to lose all that mass 2 weeks after their cycle. Also, i've seen (well, i haven't seen, but i've talked to) people that gained over 40 lbs of mass in 12 weeks and haven't lost a single ounce 4 months after their cycle. It takes a lot of time to know how your body reacts to different nutrient ratios and amounts. you need to know how to grow (and cut) naturally, to do it with the steroids. If you're 30% fat and you can't lose it without steroids and you've tried "everything", steroids won't do it for you. Most people want to go on steroids to see those "miraculously fast" results. If you don't know how to get fast results without steroids, you won't get'em any faster with steroids.

3- DO NOT GO ON A STEROID CYCLE IF YOU'RE OVER 10-12% FAT!!

Even if you're going on a cutting cycle, if you're over 12% fat, don't do it. why? because steroids mess with your lipid profile really bad! I'm talking HDL might go down to almost zero while on the cycle. if you're already overweight, it'll put you in unnecessary danger. Also, if you're going to bulk, you're gonna have to take in a lot of calories, and i mean a lot. i'm talking 6000-7000 calories every single day to get the most out of your cycle. you're gonna gain a lot of fat with that cycle if you want to gain massive muscle mass. So, if you're starting you're bulking at 20% fat, you'd end up at the 25-30% fat mark when it's over. Then, when you want to burn the fat off, you're gonna have to go on another cutting cycle just to get rid of 10% fat without losing muscle. So, play it safe people, don't be stupid.

4- TIME OFF = TIME ON + 2 WEEKS

this is the rule of thumb, people. If you ever go on a cycle, say 12 weeks, you should stay clean for ATLEAST 14 weeks. you should allow your body more than enough time to recover, in an endocronological sense.

5- PLEASE LEARN HOW TO INJECT CORRECTLY!!

I've seen way too many scar tissue on idiots in my old gym. God, it looked disgusting. And if you get an absess (bacterial infection), it won't be pretty. It'll look like you have a golf ball under there. And whatever you do, please don't forget to aspirate (after the needle goes through the skin and muscle, pull the plunger up to see if blood comes out) if there aint no blood, you're good to go. If you see blood filling your syringe, pull out. If you inject into a blood vessel or a vain, it would cause some serious problems. Just a reminder, when you do a glute shot, please shoot in the upper outter quadrant of the glute, and not the lower quadrant. If you hit the sciatic nerve going through that area, you'll feel pain, beyond pain. be careful.


6- GET FREQUENT BLOOD TESTS
you might feel fine, but sometimes, something goes wrong. it's better to know sooner to treat it.

Ok, since we've got the rules down, let's talk about what kind of steroid you should use to meet your goals, shall we?

Bulking:
When you go on a cycle, you should always add on one compound at a time to see how your body reacts to it. why? what's the worst that could happen? well, let's say you go on a testosterone and deca cycle. in 3 or 4 weeks, you start getting gyno (male breast tissue enlargement) how the f*** are you supposed to know if it's from the test or the deca? there's estrogen related gyno, and there's prolactane related gyno. Each of those cases should be treated with different medications before it's too late and that shit becomes permanent. so play it safe people.

Begginer (first time user cycle)
weeks 1-10 500 mg/week testosterone enanthat (shot twice a week, 250 mg every 3 days)
weeks 1-4 30-40 mg/day dianabol (this is optional)

This cycle should give you 30 lbs EASY! the only side effects you can encounter on this cycle are acne, oily skin, and most importantly, gynecomastia. so make sure you have all the medications to treat all of that stuff on hand (nolvadex, letrozole, accutane)

2nd cycle
weeks 1-12 500 mg/week testosterone enanthate (shot twice a week, 250 mg every 3 days)
weeks 1-10 400 mg/week deca durabolin (shot twice a week, 200 mg every 3 days)
weeks 1-4 35-45 mg/day dianabol (or 100 mg test propionate every other day)

This cycle is called a bread and butter cycle. This cycle is what bodybuilding is made of. If you can't grow into a massive freak on this cycle, you're not gonna grow on anything cuz you're a retard. In my opinion, this cycle should be as far as you should go as of bulking compounds. after doing 5 or 6 of the same cycle, and you notice that you aren't gaining anymore, up the dose to 750 mg/week of test enant. and 600 mg of deca/week. Never ever exceed 1000 mg/week of test.
Ofcourse, from the first cycle you'd know if you're prone to estrogenic gyno or not. If you don't get gyno on the first cycle, and you start getting it on the second cycle, start medication on bromocreptine and some vitamin B-6 (600-1000 mg per day) to combat prolactane induced gyno.

Cutting cycles

Begginer
weeks 1-12 500 mg/week test enanthate (shot twice a week, 250 mg every 3 days)
weeks 6-12 50 mg/day stanazol (winstrol)

Remember, it's all about the diet. Same cycle as for the bulking, except for the winstrol, which will help harden up the muscle, get rid of some water, and help cut some fat off.

2nd cycle
weeks 1-10 100 mg/every other day testosterone propionate
weeks 1-8 75 mg/every other day trenbolone acetate
weeks 4-10 50 mg/day winstrol
weeks 6-10 T3 (thyroid) tapering up the dose from 25 mcg up to 100 mcg then down to 12.5 mcg
weeks 6-10 clenbuterol , tapering up the dose from 40 mcg, to 120 mcg
weeks 6-10 Ketotifen fumarate, 1-3 mg/day (taken before bed)

This cycle will leave you shredded, dry, and dense as hell (if you're diet and training is on target, ofcourse). The problem is, after the cycle is over, your thyroid, testes, lipids, and sex drive will all be screwed. they'll need atleast 2-4 weeks to go back to normal with proper PCT (post cycle therapy). Remeber, trenbolone is a progestine, if you get gyno from it, it's prolactane induced.

For the advanced bodybuilders (people who went on more than 10 cycles, or have stopped responding to 1000 mg/week of test), you can f*** around with GH and IGF-1. I have to warn you though, never ever ever ever mess around with insulin. Yes, it's the most anabolic hormone known to man, and if used "correctly" can give extraordinary results. But still, it could kill you at the drop of a dime! and i mean death. as in no life. as in six feet under. just one simple mistake, that's all what it takes. so don't mess with it.

PCT

For every cycle, there's a proper post cycle therapy protocol. Now, they have a standard protocol which everyone must follow after his cycle. PCT start after the half life of the longest compound shot has passed. (example, if your last shot of the cycle was test enanthate with a half life of 14 days, your PCT should start 14 days after that last shot.)

weeks 1-2 40 mg/day nolvadex (tamoxafin citrate)
weeks 3-4 20 mg/day nolvadex (tamoxafin citrate)

If you have a lot of highly androgenic compounds (eg, testosterone, dianabol, anadrol...) i would advise you to use letrozole throughout the cycle at a dose of 1.25 mg every other day.

HCG should be used throughout the cycle. There are many opinions on this issue, but from a doctor who administers steroids on his patients and actually studieds them, the proper protocol is 250IU shot twice a week throughout the whole cycle, ending it 3 days before starting PCT

If you'll be using orals in your cycle (dianabol, anadrol, winstorl,...) make sure you clean your liver before and after you administer them. never try to clean it up while using them. it only causes more problem. Regular supplements to clean liver: NAC, ALA, Milk thistle. Prescription medication: Liv 52 (the best to use). make sure to use these supplements 2 weeks before starting orals, and right after stopping for two weeks.

If you don't want to look freakishly huge, don't go on steroids. If you want to have 16 inch arms, ripped abs and a chizeled chest, all you have to do is work hard. really, there's nothing to it but to do it. steroids are for those people who want to go way beyond their natural potential, not for people who aren't even close. the sad thing is that i see a lot of people on the juice, and they could do a lot better naturally.