Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

to tell you the truth, i'm just bored out of my f***ing mind right now, and if you don't want to read this, don't... cuz there's nothing important that's gonna be said over here... anyway, now i know why people are slow at work and shit like that... it's because if you get done fast, you'll have nothing to do for the rest of the day and your supervisor will always pass by and say "what are you working on?"... the best answer you can give is "stuff"...

yesterday, another unit's supervisor came to our coffee room as i was getting my tuna and he asked "why do you eat that? it's horrible! you stink up the place" ... now, this guy is about 386 years old... so i just told him "it has lots of protein, no fat... good for building muscle"... and then... you won't believe this... he started arguing about how it's not enough to build muscle... wow! i was really impressed... then i told him that i keep my big meals for breakfast, pre, and post workout... here i just eat proteins and fats... then he had this really confused look on his face and said "i really don't know what the hell's going on, but i just hear you yelling from your cubicle all the time that people don't eat enough to burn fat let alone build muscle... i just wanted to see what you had to say." ... this guy just wants to give me a hard time... like the first time i saw him... he looked at me and said "you lift weights?""... i said "yeah"... he said "no wonder you walk walk funny", smiled, and walked away... ass.

F***!!! what is it with this f***er? it's always like this!!! my lead engineer is really driving me insane! for the past 2 days it's been like this "could you please check the run depths for the blah blah blah and make sure they're correct"... i say "ok"... i check'em... go back... "here they are, and here are the corrections"... "oh, can you check the drift angles also..." ... "ok"... i check'em, go back and say "they're ok except for this one it should be blah blah blah...".. he says "oh, ok..." calls me back in five minutes and says "did you check the key wells?" i say "what the hell are key wells" and he tries to explain it on the phone so i say "i'll come to your office. i go there and he pulls out some papers and says "well, they're in here some where"... so i say "what are key wells?? i don't know what you're talking about!" ... and then he says "you don't know what key wells are?" like i'm supposed to know and i'm stupid... i say "no, i don't know what they are and i've never heard of them" so he says "wait a minute....." :) LOOOOOOOL... the guy calls our supervisor and says "abu mohammed, ummmm... what are the key wells for blah blah blah..."... so the supervisor says "you don't know?" HAHAHAHA.... the lead engineer says "yes, i do. but i just want to make sure..." so the supervisor says "i'll get back to you later" and hangs up... my lead engineer looks at me and says "i'll get back to you later".... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
why is it like this? why does everyone around here has to make everyone else feel lower, and dumber than them? "you don't know what they are?"... they expect you to say "ummm... yes i do!!! i just forgot... i'll take care of it" and go ask someone else... but that's not the point... i could've finished that shit a long time ago if he told me to do them together like "i want you to do 1- this, 2-that, 3-this, 4-that... etc"... instead it's like.... "do this"... pull out papers, go through the database, call some other idiots like myself to get info... write it down... sign it... take it back... and then "umm... yeah.. i forgot.. i want you to do this also"... you take the same papers out, you go throuugh the database again, you call the same idiots you called 20 minutes ago to get other info you could've gotten from the first call... you write it down... sign it... take it back... and the cycle continues... until you're done... and then they say "did you check the key wells?" like i know what the f*** he's talking about!!!
my old lead engineer was cool... he used to treat me like a complete retard... "to do this, you take this paper, look at the fifth line, write that number down, divide it by 5, take the... hey HEY LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU... take the result and add it to the 4th number on the left..." i just take notes go back to the cubicle with 2 billion papers and become a robot... 5 hours later, i'm done, i have carpel tunnel syndrome, and i'm legally blind in my right eye... but i get the job done as requested... unlike this shit i'm going through now... no one knows what the hell they're doing, and i don't know how the f*** they gave them the positions they have... not saying that i know what i'm doing... i'm a complete f***ing idiot... and if you don't tell me how to do my job, i'll f*** this company up at the drop of a dime! that's why we have superiors who actually know what they're doing... cuz if he doesn't know, i definately won't know...

which leads me to my blood pressure issues... Although i gained an ass load of weight (196 lbs and rising) i bought a portable blood pressure monitor, and guess what? i'm just fine :) checked it this morning and it came back at 129/86... i guess i have blood pressure issues cuz i'm afraid my heart will explode whenever i'm getting my pressure checked... like when i was 200+ lbs, and they wanted to check my BP, and i was like "SHIT!! i know i'm gonna die!!!" and it turned out to be 170/110 ... if you don't know what those numbers mean, 170/110 means you're a walking case of a stroke and kidney failure... anyway, i'm gonna get my blood work done in november to make sure i'm fine and dandy... and i have a little experiment to try out...

il 7amdlilah, we don't have any history of heart disease or cholesterol problems in our family. and my lipid panel test always comes out perfect... so, i'm gonna try a little experiment... i need to eat a lot of protein this winter, cuz i'm gonna hit an all time high weight inshallah, without getting a heart attack, hopefully. 400+ grams of protein per day... and i don't want any tuna (except for the tuna shake i will be trying out as a preworkout meal).. i'm planning to eat a pound of beef everyday... lean beef... six weeks before my blood test i will start eating 1 lbs of beef, and a total of 6 egg yolks, 5 days per week... if my cholesterol turns out fine, i will continue eating the beef and egg yolks (ofcourse, not just yolks, but that's the total i'll be getting from the eggs) uptil march... remember, i'll be doing cardio atleast 5 days per week (moderate-high intensity) and i will religously take in 5-8 grams of fish oil daily. plus, i will be using 1.5 grams of niacin for 4 weeks out of every 12 weeks (so that's 4 with niacin, and 8 wihtout)... if you don't know, niacin is extremely beneficial when it comes to cholesterol. BUT USE THE NON-FLUSH KIND!!! you use regular niacin at 1.5 grams a day and you'll be a walking, itchy tomato.

when i'm at work and i have nothing to do, i just think about training and diet and figure out different ratios and shit... especially when i'm driving back home... i think about that all the time (yeah, i'm sick... trust me i know... but it kills time) so, november 15th (or a saturday that comes after that) i will start my big ass diet...
Meal 1:
6 egg whites, 3 whole eggs, 300 ml skimmed milk, 25 grams of whey protein, 3 rice cakes, 2 tbsp peanut butter, 2 tbsp jam, 1 tbsp nutella spread chocolate (F*** OFF! it's winter, bitch)
Meal 2&3
1/2 lb lean ground beef, slice of fat free cheese, 1 tbsp canola mayo
Meal 4 (preworkout):
Tuna shake (1 can of tuna, 250 ml apple juice, blend in a blender, and gulp down as fast as i can)
Meal 5 (postworkout)
300 ml skimmed milk, 62 grams of whey, 1.5 cups oatmeal, honey... lots of honey
Meal 6
6 egg whites, 3 whole eggs, 5-8 grams of fish oil...

On non training days, i just skip the tuna shake, and replace it with meal 5... also, i'll be taking in some beef extract liquid amino acids between meals (50 grams total)

so that's ... 430 gr protein, 270 gr carbs, 90 grams of fat... 3610 calories... 48/30/22 ratio of p/c/f
on non workout days it's 330 gr prot, 230 carbs, 90 grams of fat... 3050 calories... 43/30/27 ratio of p/c/f
i will only do this from saturday-wednesday postworkout... after that... i'll probably only eat very little... but basically junk... 2000-3000 in 2-3 meals and snacks...
my cut off point is a 40 inch waist measured in the morning... or reaching the begining of march... whichever comes first...

as for training... i'll only train 3 times a week... hitting every muscle twice every week... ofcourse, the volume will be much less... major body parts (chest, back, legs) will be trained using only one working set (after about 5 warm up sets).. and that working set will be a drop set... minor body parts will be worked using a heavy set followed by a pump sets (6 heavy reps, followed immediately by 20 reps of an isolation set with light weights).

If you don't know anything about this kind of training, do a search on DoggCrapp training... he didn't come up with anything new... he just put some simple ideas together... which is, in my point of view, the definition of genius!! something so freaking simple, so basic, that just passed everyone by and no one cared to take a second look.

well, this is it... starting this november, my last bulking session...
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yeah right...